Two Souls
by l'il pirate
Summary: What if little Jacky, Mary, Faber woke up one day missing that arrogant sailor? This is my take on Jacky and Jared, two piratical souls. Changes made to the actual storyline in the novels.
1. Without Him

:: When they parted, proper like, he told her when she was done playing with boys she knew where to find him. What if little Jacky, _Mary_, Faber woke up one day missing that arrogant sailor? This is my take on Jacky and Jared, two piratical souls.::

:: For You're Imagination... Think of Jacky Faber as Sophia Myles. Joseph Jared as Sean Patrick Flanery. James Fletcher as Peter Facinelli. Mr. Higgins as Stellan Skargard. And eventually Wilhelmina Gregson as Jorden Strauss. Hopefully this will help with the creative prospect, it helped me at any rate. ::

:: ALSO... You may be wondering about all of this and the time line of Jacky Faber. Well, just having finally read _The Wake of the Lorelei Lee_, I have decided that this will take place after that book as follows. I will slowly unravel the past of Jacky Faber, after the events of that novel as I would have liked to see it happen. I hope it makes sense and you like it. I do like Jaimy but I like Jared even more. So I'm sorry but this is an idea of might out for a joyride. :D ::

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><p><strong>Two Souls<strong>

_**Chapter One:: Without Him**_

I open my eyes slowly, shading my tired eyes from the sun peeking through my window drapes, streakin' across my sorry little bed in this room of mine I've paid for. If I had been anywhere else, this morning would have been a pleasant one, one that would leave me excited for this day but not today. I close my eyes and moan, rolling over to burrow my way through the covers until I suffocate, when a knock at the door breaks the unhappy silence of the room.

"Leave me alone!" I cry into my pillow. My head aches. Tears do that to me. Retching does too. But the door opens all the same and in strides Higgins, fresh clothes for me over his arm, and looking quite ready and willing to take on the world. I resent that look this morning.

"Leave me alone." I repeat callously.

"Now, now Miss. This is enough. You've been in this room for three days." Higgins pulls the drapes, igniting the entire room in bright sunshine. I groan again, haughtily cursing everything in my unabashed furry. My cockney tongue... my sailor's tongue. I've never lost it, not like I've lost so much else in my life.

I lay quiet for a minute before I feel the skin on the back of my neck prickle. Regrettably I pull my face from the pillow and gaze up at Higgins frowning at me. I know he's mad. He's a prime man who knows how to hold an expressionless face but today he doesn't. No, he shows it . I blink slowly and mumble a halfhearted apology.

"That mouth, Miss, I shall wash with soap if you do not desist that dirty and unladylike habit, you so currently have taken up in full."

Frowning I surrender to his threat, he's good for it, I know that for sure. It's not my fault, that, but there's no use arguing language with Higgins. He'll best me. Besides I'm too tired and angry to care who's gaining the point.

"Now Miss. Out of that bed." Higgins stands over me, laying the fresh clothes over a nearby chair and waiting for me to roll my ungrateful tail out of bed.

"Why?" I groan sourly, hugging my pillow. "I've got nothin'."

"You have me Miss and I intend to see you through this."

_Aw. Dear Man, my Higgins_. But I don't move. His words touch me, they really do but it's gonna take more than a kind word from him to rouse me. I'm that low.

"But still, why? I've nothing to do, no place to go, no one..." I bury my face in my pillow again and sob. _No one_. I don't say it aloud but Higgins knows it. I know he does.

"The past week has been hard on you Miss but I can assure you, there are still many worthy of your company. Already you have received word from Mrs. McConnaughey and Mr. Alsop. They wish to see you Miss, as do all the children."

"I don't wanna see anyone." I retort. It hurts me to say it but my anger don't disappear that quick.

"Regardless, you are getting up today. Now. Out of that bed and we'll dress you. I for one need something to do, this place is maddeningly boring. Up now." Higgins commands.

I wanted to refuse I really did but I've done that for three days now. And even though I'm at the point where I want to die, I listen. I haul myself out of the safety of my warm covers and let Higgins dress me. I don't have the energy but he does.

He dresses me in my new green dress, sewn much like my old school dress from Lawson Peabody, but more well suited to life here in London. It's low cut and fits tight to my ribs, just the way I like it. This new one is a favourite of mine, Higgins must have chosen it because of that. It looks fine on and makes me look a little more delicate than I am. Besides, it's got shorter sleeves than most so my shiv fits perfectly inside my elbow. Still, it's not my famous blue dress. The one I made while on the _Dolphin_. But that one is packed away at the bottom of my sea chest. I should really give it away, considering how things lie now but the memories of that dress make me keep it. Now, that one stays at the bottom of my sea chest.

When I'm dressed in my new rig, befitting our surroundings, Higgins steps back and smiles. I'd much rather be wearing my trousers and Lieutenant jacket or my pirate queen outfit but he'll not hear of it. No, he's pleased with his work. He then sits me in a chair, at the small table under the window, and disappears from the room, leaving me there alone. I sit at the window and stare out blankly at what people I can see below, ridding all fine in carriages and strutting down the streets like proper English gents and Ladies. I think over the past few weeks. The events that brought me back here, to London.

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><p><em>Caleb Morris<em>

_15 Lexington Street_

_London, England_

_June 10__th__ 1809_

_Miss Jacky M. Faber_

_C/O the London Home for Little Wanderers_

_24 Brideshead Lane_

_London, England_

_My Dear Miss Faber_

_I write you today to answer the letter you posted me in request to ask after the whereabouts of a certain Lieutenant in His Majesty's Royal Navy. I regrettably write this letter to inform you that your suspicions based on rumour were correct, the marriage of Lieutenant James Emerson Fletcher and Miss Wilhelmina Theresa Gregson took place on June 2__nd__ in the year of 1809 of our Lord the King. They have taken a house South of Drayer Street, London. I regrettably bring this news to you but most humbly ask that if you require anything further, please do not hesitate to ask it of me._

_Your devoted Servant, _

_Caleb Morris_

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><p>My chest hurts as I think about that letter from dear Caleb, but I don't cry now. No. There's no more tears now. That was a long time ago now. Back on my ship, when I got those words, those words hit me like a ten foot wave. Jaimy. <em>My Jaimy<em>, married another. I knew we were having trouble, him always getting posts on ships bound all over the world, our visits few and far between, usually ending with me causing mischief... and our fights... they were getting worse each time. It still hurt me though. Even though I actually tried to kill him last time I saw him. I still loved him. I always had, but this hurt more than anything. _Why did he go? _He said he never would, yet there he was a married man and me... I was just some lonely, crude, girl he knew from years ago.

Higgins came back then, interrupting my thoughts with breakfast. He sets the tray of hot food before me and drops the napkin onto my lap and frowns at my sullen face. He knew what I am thinkin' but he knows what to do. He removes the cover from my plate and stands back, letting the wondrous smells of good food reach my nose. My stomach growls.

I was sad and angry, sure, but there was no fooling my stomach, I quickly fall to it and dive into the hot breakfast. I am a heartbroken girl yes, but I'm a hungry one too.

After I've had my fill, Higgins takes the dishes away and returns with my cloak and bonnet. I shake my head at him. _I don't wann go. _He only smiles tenderly and holds the cloak open.

"A short walk to Poole Street and back. I've an errand and I'd like the company."

My shoulders sag. Of all the things I've learned about Higgins since I've met him, of him bein' a hard nosed businessman, a man with the mind of a spy and the soul of a pirate, I''ve know... but never sworn on him to have the heart of a saint. His words get me. I can't refuse. I stand and take my cloak, wondering why I need it at all on this fine day but not saying a word, I also take the bonnet from him. I don't like bonnets much but he insists. It's proper like, here in London so I don it and we go.

Later that afternoon, I sit with Higgins in a neat little tea room. It's not my style but I tuck in my tea and dainties with as much of the Lawson Peabody style and grace as I can muster. Actually it's the first time Higgins is the one completely in control, me not being in mortal danger or at deaths door, and he plays the part well. If any noticed us much they would have been sure I was a darling girl out to tea with her father. I've no doubt of that. And it was that thought that makes me smile. _My dear Higgins_, I thought looking at him sip his tea, _what would I have ever done without you lookin' out for me?_

Higgins puts down his tea and looks at me, surveying the room. "I know, Miss, that this not your first choice of establishment but I didn't think it wise that we thrust you into such company at this time. Besides, the taverns in London are not like those on the coast."

I nod. I know it to be true. I've been many places in my short life, and although I've a knack at putting my poor mortal soul in danger, I know enough to keep away from trouble such as that. Besides I've no energy for taverns yet, and Higgins knows it.

"I don't mind. It's kinda nice..." I muse, glancing quickly over the other's taking tea in this place. I work hard to keep The Look on my face but I let it slip a little, soften it, so that I look the part of Higgins' innocent daughter. "...I've never been to a place this grand."

"You Miss?" Higgins smiled, clearly not believing a word I've said.

"Honestly." I reply, somewhere deep down, pleased I've made him smile. "I've been to a place like this once but not London grand. ...I mean I've done a lot in my short life but I grew up around here, I never thought I'd actually be allowed into a place like this... ever."

"And yet here you are."

"Yes." I give him a weak smile. "It's strange really, to think I've sat in the company of the First Lord, entertained sailors from Boston to Cuba, sailed down the Mississippi, road an Elephant, sailed with a Chinese Admiral, and met Boney himself ... but this to me is better than all that."

"I am actually quite surprised a tearoom would delight you so much as to place it above such... _monumental _events as you've just mentioned." He smiled again.

"But that's just it. You'd think a thing like this, which you and a lot of people in here thinks as a normal place to visit, would bore me but it doesn't bore the little girl from Cheapside." I reply, looking around at the pretty painted paper covering the walls and lacy drapes over each window. "Even a place they serve tea is exciting for me."

"Then I suggest the next place you visit be Japan." Higgins retorts, picking up his tea once more. "I have heard many business men, during my employ with Lord Hollingsworth, mention such teahouses there. Houses completely devoted to serving tea and entertaining guests, Geishas in beautiful silk Kimono. I'm actually surprised you've never visited yourself."

I take a moment and think back on Cheng Shih, and how I almost got there to enjoy all of the Orient's exotic beauty. _Oh Beloved Shih, has it really been two years since I've seen you?_

"Perhaps I will." I answer him, thinking about such a place as exotic Japan. I think about all of the silk tapestries in Cheng Shih's cabin, her beautiful paintings and how much I would like to visit such a rich and beautiful place as that. It would make an exciting trip.

"Speaking of which, I hope you do not think me rude as to inquire after the next venture peeking your curiosity." He asks, watching me cautiously.

I shrug. For once in my life having no scheme in the works. That all ended four days ago.

"I suppose I'll just take my ship around the channel for a while. Maybe visit Liam and Moria in Ireland or Amy in Boston. I've no plans." I reply, a little chastened to say such a thing, being who I am.

Higgins nods at that and is silent a long moment, leaving me to my pitiful thoughts, until he pulls a few coins from his pocket and lays them on the table. "Shall we?"

I drain my tea and pat my lips with my napkin, feeling a pang at my heart, remembering Jaimy smiling at me as I wiped my face on my sleeve back all those years in Kingston. My eyes cut to Higgins's vacated spot across the table. I can still see him. Sitting there across from me smiling handsomely as he explains the workings of a fork. It's sentimental drabble, I know but it's what makes these moments without him harder to bare. As much as I am angry at him for leaving me, 'cause of the hurt that makes my heart ache, I hate him for those nice memories that make it impossible to ignore the ache. I feel the dark cloud settling over me.

But, like always, I try and push those thoughts from my mind as I stand to take the arm Higgins' offered me. He can see the memories flooding through my mind, and pats my hand, leading me outside.

"Time, Miss. Time is a great healer."

I nod silently. I don't like this feeling. I don't like me like this, but it's hopeless. There's never been anything so stable in my life, so good as me and Jaimy and yet even that's crumbled out from under me. I close my eyes and let the sun warm my face. It feels good. Maybe one day I'll forget the sight of him with her. One day I'll forget the sound of his voice or the smile he gave her. _Maybe one day... _

_...but not this day. _


	2. Back To Life

: This new chapter heads up the story and directs us a little in the way this fic will be going. Please review if you read. I'd appreciate the feedback.

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><p><em><strong>Chapter Two:: Back to Life<strong>_

A week passes and Higgins and I are back to the coast and back to my beloved _Lorelei Lee_. I didn't like leaving her, she was in good hands but I'm heartily glad to get back to her again. As soon as we get back on her, and the command given back to me proper like from John Leroy, my First Mate, I call all the men to their stations and pull her beautiful hull out from the docks. I for one have had enough of England for the time being. We don't take her far, just out of the channel south of Basildon until the open horizon slaps into full view. It's there we drop anchor and spend the night. Tomorrow things will begin again, back to the sea. Tomorrow the work begins, I let the men have one last evening of rest.

It was this night, curled up in my own bed, in my own room on my ship, that I let myself think back over my time in London. I don't think of...him. No. I think back to my dear old granddad and the afternoon we spent together. It was one of the last few days we were in London, and me feelin' guilty by Higgins' own hand, I went to spend the day with him. We had a lot to catch up on. Me not seein' him in a year at least and he had a lot to catch me up on, me being the owner of the London Home for Little Wanderers. He showed me around 'imself, though many of the kids could'a done it right good, him getting frail in his old age. He was so proud of the improvements to the house, the new additions and the accomplishments of the rest. I smile even now. I spent the better part of the day with him then went around by the McConnaughey's on my way back to the Inn.

Mairead pulled me in the door the second she saw my face and within seconds I was surrounded by plump little red haired toddlers. It was a grand afternoon, teasin' and tellin' stories then passin' out all manner of candies and treats for the tot's then sending them off to play. Then I sat with dear plump Mairead, who's heavy with child again- I tell you her and Ian will have twenty babies pretty soon- but me and her sit down and chat up on until Ian comes home for dinner. We have a burnin' good time, even after he's home, and I stay long into the night then leave them with promises to visit again soon. In truth, I don't know when I'll be back but I hope it'll be there to see the new McConnaughey babe.

I think back to my time on the _Emerald _with the Delaney's and all the manner of cocky Irish boys I had with me during that time in my happy little life. My _Emerald_. I sigh. I hadn't thought of her until now in a long time. I miss that beautiful gal, I do. But I've got my new ship now and she's a beautiful piece of craftsmanship. She's my fifth ship now... though not all I got all legal like. One suppose wasn't even mine, belonging to the King and all, but I turned her into the right fine bark she was. I think then, back to that ship, the _HMS Wolverine_, and all the fine men serving with me.

My _Werewolves _they were fine men indeed, dear Peter Drake and Jack Harkness, little Georgie and the other ships boys along with Ned and Tom. I smile sadly. _Take care of that one Benjy, he was one of my errant knights._ I miss those boys, the ships boys and... why young Robin. I smile again, thinkin' of Robin. _Dear sweet Robin_. He was such a boy when I first come aboard, barely the man he was when I left. _Where are you this day, dear Robin? I_ wonder to myself.

I turn over on my side, content to let sleep claim me when another face, though hazy with time, plops into my mind causin' me to blink in the darkness. I lay quiet a moment then roll back over onto my back again and though it's been years at best, my breathin' get's a little quicker.

That insolent smile, the one he wore on almost every occasion, comes back to me like a wave in the sea. I frown into the darkness, thinkin' of that bold British tar, his face lingerin' in my thoughts... making me wonder why. I've encountered a lot of handsome males in my life, I'm not ashamed to say it cause it's true, but there's something about that one.

I close my eyes and think back to that kiss, our first, in the cabin on the _Emerald_, back when we had just captured her. I should have bit his tongue, I remind myself, but I didn't. I let the man kiss me but _oh... how he had_. I let myself think over Jaimy, just for old time's sake, and the kisses we shared. Sure we had been mad about each other, kissing and doing all manner of foolishness but it had never been like that. Least not usually. But then, Jaimy had only been a boy still. I think on Jaimy a minute then turn over and close my eyes. _You take good care of him girl_. I mutter to no one. _You'd better_.

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><p>The weeks that follow, we sail out up north a bit towards Scotland. We dock at Edinburgh for a day or two then head out again. It don't take us long before we abandon our pleasure cruise for some honest pirating either. My greedy little soul wont take it. We take a few good prizes, cargo here and ship there. Not too much but we make a tidy profit. We take the ships into Aberdeen, Scotland, sell them and take the profit back up north and round northern Scotland. I'm in the mood for some bold Irish fun and decide to visit Liam and Moria in Wicklow.<p>

We get there in good time, weathering the odd small squall and hellish wind, but the men are heartily glad for some shore leave so they're paid, divided up and disappear out soon after we dock. I leave the ship, once more in John Leroy's capable hands, and head out for the Delaney's close after my men trotting off in search of some grog and company. Today I'm dressed in my new riding habit. It's scarlet with black and gold trimmings, making me look mightily fine, all tucked into it. Maybe I'm dressed a little fine for a friendly visit, but I feel like dressin' up today, showing off in my usual fashion, so it's like this all primped that I head out.

It doesn't take me long to find the Delaney home. Liam's wrote me with the address months ago, asking me to visit if I find myself in the area. It's a pleasant little stone home, covered in vines and filled with happy children. Much nicer than the little dirt floor cottage I found them in years ago, but I don't say it aloud. I knock on the door and wait. A minute later it pulls open and I find myself faced with a small auburn haired woman wiping her hands on her apron. Although she's still got a cautious fire in her eyes she smiles.

"Jacky. This is a surprise." says Moria in way of greeting.

"Aye. I hope I've not come at a bad time." I say, giving her one of my best smiles.

Moria shakes her head. "Ney. Liam's due home shortly. Come in."

She steps aside and I step in. The little house it neat and cozy. I like it as soon as I stand inside the door and take off my hat, giving my hair a pat here and there. Moria closes the door and takes my hat to hang on the wall then gives me a once over and shakes her head. She doesn't approve of me, I know it, but I don't care much. She wouldn't approve of me if I was wearing Angel wings and a halo.

Anyway, she invites me into the kitchen where I find two toddlers seated at the table. The youngest of the Delaney kids, Martha and Gerry I think... _yup_. They're about six years old now, a two years older than Mairead's brood, but as cute as can be. Within a moment Gerry's on my lap and Martha's eyeing me curiously. Moria tries to gt them to leave me alone but I insist. I love kids. I really do.

"I've just come from London." I say as an introduction.

Moria smiles kindly and goes about her cooking. "And how is that lass of mine?"

I smile. "She is well. With child and chasing after the rest."

Moria smiles. "And that McConnaughey?"

I poke Gerry's nose, causing him to giggle. I hear Moria's cautious sarcasm, she never liked Ian much but she knows her daughter's love for the rascal and respects it. She loves Liam after all, so she knows how young love works.

"They are very happy together, Ian loves your girl with all of his heart and dots on his family. He's a wonderful father and loving Husband. You needn't worry on that account." I reply, wholeheartedly meaning it. This seems to please Moria. "And what of the other children? Well, young men and women they are now."

"They are well." Moria replies. "They should be home any minute. Seamus is working with Liam now and Arthur is apprenticing under Martin Farrell, the Cooper."

"And the girls?" I ask. I like knowing girls have been given their right amount in life.

Moria riffles with the stove. "Grace and Helen are working up at the O'Malley Inn as kitchen maids. They are only home for the weekends now."

I nod, I've been a chamber maid too, there's nothing to be ashamed of. I learned a lot while in the service. I take a moment to think back to my sisters in Boston. _I hope you are all well sisters_.

"And Padraic?" I ask gently. "Have you any word?"

Moria throws a pie in the oven and closes the door, giving me a narrow eyed look for a long moment before shaking her head. "Nothing of late. We got word they arrived in Rupert's Land but nothing more."

I nod sullenly, heartily I'm sorry for them but they'll get word yet. I'm sure of it. Padraic is a good lad, I tell Moria this and she doesn't reply. She's a good mum, she knows her kids are good ones but it still hurts her to have them so far away but she's a strong woman, she doesn't show it.

I sit and entertain Gerry and Martha all the while Moria busies herself in the kitchen but it ain't long before the front door opens again and Seamus and Arthur come striding in, sullen from work and exhaustion, but they see me and exult- _I think_- all the while callin' _Jacky! Jacky's here, where'd ye come from Jacky? Did you bring us anything? _I laugh and give the boys' hugs, hugs I know Moria don't like but she's not the time to say anything before Liam comes in the room and... _Oh, my dear 'ol sea dad_. I grin madly, tears comin' now, and jump into Liam's arms. I haven't seen him since I said goodbye that day on the _Wolverine's _deck all those years ago.

Liam gives me a proper bear hug and strokes my hair before he kisses my head and pulls back to look at me, making a fool of myself crying like I am, but he smiles seeing I'm quite as I was back then. Two arms and legs with my face still intact.

"Jacky, daughter, it warms my heart to see you alive and well."

"And I, you, father." I murmur and hug him again for good measure. "I told you'd I'd bob up again."

Liam chuckles and gives me a smile as his boys descend upon me again, he leaves and gives Moria a kiss then sits down across the table from me, pulling Martha onto his lap. I smile at him amidst my answers to his boys questions and marvel at how much I've missed this clan.

I supper with them and stay on late into the night, as I did at the McConnaughey's. Liam sends the boys to bed, grumbling, and he and I sit by the fire to talk. It makes me think back to the nights we sat around my table aboard the _Emerald_, planning and scheming all manner of things, but I quickly put that thought out of my mind and sip my wine.

"I'm glad to see you well Liam. You and all the family." I say, curled up in my chair.

Liam nods. "But what's happened with you since your mishap with New South Whales Jacky? They didn't have you end up there after all... did they?"

I smirk. _Who told you?_

"Your man, Higgins, wrote me." He replies with a smirk but a look of concern not far behind.

I smile and tug at my collar, pulling it a little higher on my neck to hide my new tattoo hidden there. "No Father." I smile and look into the fire. "They caught me but they didn't receive no head tax on this one."

Liam smiles. "And you've come away with all your limbs and wits yet again."

"More or less." I nod as Liam smiles and I stay quiet a moment, lost in my thoughts. We stay this way for a time, but then it's Liam who speaks.

"We had a visitor some weeks back. A Brit, come asking around about you."

I look up, surprised. _Who could be lookin' for me? Why?_ I quickly run through everyone I think might want to find me but don't have much luck. _Who'd come to Ireland of all places, lookin for me? _They must be awful desperate to find me if they're travelin' so far.

"Said, he'd heard word of one female Captain sailin' 'bout the Irish coast and wanted to know if she'd ever set into Wicklow." Liam gives me a look, seeing as I'm trying in earnest to work it out.

"How'd he come by you?"

"Said he'd heard of one Liam Delaney, Captain of the late _Emerald _as being the same Delaney who had been aboard the_ HMS Dolphin_ some years back, both times serving with Jacky Faber... one _well known _female of the nautical realm." Liam smirks at the fire, thinkin' back to those good old days, no doubt. "I bought him a drink of course, ready to question him or bloody his nose depending on his words."

Moria _harrumphs _in the corner, working at her mending ferociously, but I pay her no heed. My eyes are locked on Liam's face.

"As much as he was a bold Brit, he was a good drinking companion. I enjoyed the conversation." Liam acknowledged. "He knew much of you, and seems to have served with you once or twice. He was all praise for you, referring affectionately to you as Pu-"

My heart stops and I hear no more of what Liam says, but I know it regardless. I know who it is, he talks of. _Joseph Jared_. Without a doubt. Normally I would have been delighted to hear of my old shipmate harboring close by, lookin' up an old friend but not this time. I don't know why exactly, maybe because it's Jared, someone who's been in and out of my thoughts frequently of late, and my life. But that makes me ashamed. _Stupid girl _I grumble, _why shouldn't you be happy to hear of Jared lookin' you up. Calm down you, he prolly just wants to gloat over something to old mates of yours. 'Prolly wants a piece of the action, hearing about my tidy l'il business up here. _I look at Liam then the fire.

"Did he say what he wanted?"I ask, steadying my voice.

Liam looks at me square. "He wanted to find you. He told me about the _HMS Wolverine,_ the _HMS Dart _and then about the news from London."

I hang my head, knowing what he's gettin' at. _Why must it always come back to that? Does all I know, know about what's happened to me? Getting tossed out in the gutter... again. For good this time?_ But no. Liam doesn't say anymore about that.

"He was hopin' I would know something of where you could be found, but I had no idea. Other than you promised to come 'round here, or that you sometimes pulled in at Dublin." Liam continues.

"Did he say which ship he's posted on?" I ask, though I'm a little surprised a British ship would pull into Ireland. _It's a little strange _I think.

"He said he's done with the Navy." Liam replies, reading my mind. "He come on his own accord. Said, should I get word of you, that he'll be up in Dublin and you could find him at one of the taverns down by the wharf. He said he'd find work in Dublin for a while and should he not hear from you he'll find work elsewhere on whatever ship'll take him." Liam narrows his eyes a bit. "What's the word with this man, daughter?"

I smile lightly, lookin' into the fire. _Liam, always taking care of his girls_. I wait a moment, trying to think of an answer to satisfy him, and at the same time spare Jared of the crucifixion of his life.

"Back on the_ Wolverine_, before I took command, Jared was Master of the Top. He then became Master's Mate after the men accepted me in Captain's Scroggs stead. He's a good man, good sailor. Saved my life more than I can count."

"No doubt he's come lookin' for payment." Grumbles Moria but I don't reply. I let her have that shot. In truth I wouldn't be surprised if that's all Jared wants. Liam frowns.

"Moria." He cautions. Moria meets his eyes then stands and leaves the room, leaving her mending behind and leaving us be.

Moria's a tough one. She's gettin' better for her love of me, one cheapside schemer and little thief, but it's slow coming. Liam knows this and I know he's sad cause of it, not happy his wife don't like me. But _let females be females_. He knows I let it roll right off my back.

"Though I've no idea why he'd come 'round lookin' for me after all this time. Last I saw him he tried to take my ship from me." I mumble, looking off into the fire. _Why give all that up Jared? You were a Captain finally_. I can't help but smile though, thinkin' back to our goodbye off England's shore, and say rather sentimentally. "You've heard the tales, no doubt he's told you about _Puss in Boots_. He named me that when we were taking prizes upon the _Wolverine_."

Liam scoffs. I look at him but I can see his eyes smiling at me. He's quiet a moment then looks of into the fire himself.

"I only spent an evening with him, mind you, but I could tell there's something with him. You should head up to Dublin if you've got the time."

"You think?" I asked, truly surprised Liam would side with Jared, of all men.

"Aye." Liam replies, then looks at me hard and stern like any father. "I don't know what he's planning but you should hear him out. The man clearly misses your company lass."

I look at Liam, now even more surprised. _Why should Jared miss me? Aren't I just a stupid girl? _

"It may be a good idea from your end too, considering that whelp hadn't the sense to marry you when he should of."

I can't help but smirk at his comment.

"Are you suggesting that I go and marry off with the next Brit I come across father?"

"Ney. You couldn't be more wrong." Liam replies stiffly. "I'd just go to Dublin. If he's such a good sailor, it wouldn't hurt you to take him on and give the man a job. If he's such a scoundrel cast him off right off. But if he's got something good to say, I'd listen." He counsels. "I don't want to see you lonely, daughter."

"I'm not. I've got my ship and crew. I've got Higgins." I reply, fully meaning it. _What do I need a man for? I'm fine on my own. I am. I don't need anyone._

"That's not what I mean lass." Liam says, raisin' his brows a bit. Enough to cast my eyes to my lap. I ain't shy, I've never been. But something in his look makes me a little abashed it's Liam givin' me this talk. Then again, I'm thankful it's him. He's always been the closest thing to a father to me, besides Higgins that is, and I've got no kin. None but my grandad and he's not the kind to do it. Liam knows me better than most. He reaches over and pats my arm.

"Just think it over lass. You've never been one to give up something valuable." Liam says kindly. "Now. Will you stay here tonight? Should I have Moria fix you a place."

I shake my head. "No. I'll bed on the _Lorelei Lee_. If you've got time tomorrow, come down to the docks... bring the family and supper with me. I'll show you around. She's a fine ship." I stand and set my glass on the table. "... but I'll leave you now. Goodnight Liam."

Liam stands and follows me to the door. "You too Jacky."

Liam sees me off and watches me disappear down the street before disappearing back into the house. I walk quietly down the dark streets with naught but the moonlight to guide me. It's a long walk back to the ship this night.

Higgins is waiting for me, lookin' a little worried but I assure him all is well and good.

"Lost tract of time." I tell him as he helps me out of my rig.

"Regardless, you should be careful here Miss. I would have much rather you let me accompany you." he says, hanging up my dress all neat upon it's hanger and putting it away as I pull my night gown over my head.

"I was fine. Honestly." I reply, giving a little spin. "I'm fine. Look! Unharmed."

Higgins sniffs at me. I know he ain't happy but he nods all the same and seems to let it go. He picks up a brush and starts on my hair.

"Have the cook prepare something nice for dinner tomorrow the Delaney's may chance upon us and I want them welcomed proper. Also, have the men swab the deck first thing, I want the ship to shine." I say as Higgins lays down the brush and quickly plaits my hair for bed. It feels wonderfully good to be so pampered but my heart ain't in it tonight.

He replies with a nod then picks up his lamp and heads for the door. "I will see that it is done, and bring you a menu in the morning. Goodnight Miss."

"And Higgins..." I call after him. He stops at the door and turns.

"Yes?"

"Be sure we have fresh supplies, and ready the men, we leave for Dublin the day after tomorrow."

_And yes, we do._


	3. Welcome Puss

:Sorry this has been so long coming. Internet connections have been rough lately. So I'm posted more than one chapter so I can try and get back in everyone's good graces... or at least I hope. I hope you like these next chapters. Still at odds what I want to happen but this is the story so far. :D Thank you everyone.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter Three:: Welcome Puss<strong>_

It's a short trip to Dublin and we make it in two days, but those two days are passed with little comfort for me, 'cause I'm fretting and worrying about what Jared may want from me. It's been years after all. The night we pull into Dublin, I know I will not be able to sleep without seeing him, so I call Higgins to me so I can dress and head out. Neither he, nor anyone on the ship knows of our business here in Dublin but he has watched me fret for two days- I know he knows something is up.

"What shall it be tonight?" He asked, standing ready before my wardrobe of finery, which we have collected from many a port and adventures.

I screw my face up and stare blankly at the wardrobe. _What should I wear? _I think. _What would impress him_? Surprised at myself I shake my head and turn away. It's the show off in me workin' it's way to the surface.

"Choose whatever you think best Higgins. It's business tonight." I tell him.

Higgins turns to the wardrobe and riffles around for a moment to pull out a black skirt and matching jacket. I must admit it looks grand but something in the back of my mind makes me shake my head. He heaves a sign and puts it back to pull out my navy blue skirt and Lieutenant's jacket. Although we're getting closer I shake my head again. He knows' what's coming I fear as I narrow my eyes, feeling suddenly very rakish.

"Please." He pleas. "Not the trousers."

"Come on Higgins." I retort, rocking on my heels with pleasure. "Let's give these Irish a thrill."

Higgins frowns. "Not the pirate regalia though Miss, anything but that."

I grin. I plea, I get down on my knees and beg. _And yes! He agrees_. It's fitting, I tell him, me being their very own Grace O'Malley of this century. He is relucent but we settle on a bargain. I will leave my sword and crossed pistols behind. Opting for a single pistol in my belt and my shiv up my sleeve. I am content and he gets it done.

"Don't wait up Higgins" I call as I leave and I'm off to town.

I step foot off the _Lorelei Lee _onto the docks of Dublin, wearing my tight black pants, white blouse, blue vest with it's crossed belts on my chest and big black boots. I've got my bandana tied around my head and my pistol stuck in my belt. It's that way, with the Look upon my face, that I enter into the first tavern that opens into view and ask after the man I've come to see.

I go to two more taverns before I find one with a grinning landlord, who nods in answer to my queries.

"You've come to the right place Lassie." he says, not at all put off my appearance.

"Tell me, sir." I say kindly, very gratefully placing a coin upon the bar. "Could you tell me where I might find this man."

"Sure do. He spends his evenings at a table in the far corner." The landlord points off towards a table tucked away in the shadows under the stairs. It's dark but looks very cozy. That's the thing about these Irish pubs.

I nod. The table is empty. I place another coin on the bar. "I will take a glass of your finest wine then, and another coin's in it for you if you don't bring any attention to me." I say and head off to the corner.

I sit there quietly for about an hour, well hidden from all in the tavern. I sip my wine and think about many things. I think about Jaimy, although I know I shouldn't, about Amy and Randall and all my friends in Boston. I think of Richard Allen and about my time down the Mississippi. And I also think of Jean-Paul and my time spent in France as a spy. ...but that's get me thinking of my time spent in the French prison and how Joseph was always there. Suddenly, my hands are none too steady. I stare blankly at the table thinking of him. _What am I doin' here?_

It's about that time that I hear footsteps nearing, and as I'm hidden from the entire tavern in the spot I sit now, I feel my stomach begin to knot. He's here. I know it. As he approaches I turn my eyes up and look at his face, still not seeing me, and feel my stomach churn even more. Why, I don't know, but I can't stop it. I don't even try.

He sits down, right before me, before he notices his table is occupied and when he does he knows it's me. He always had a knack of recognisin' me right off, even in this dark corner of the pub. Immediately he smiles his dammed cocky grin, I realize I've missed more than I thought I would, and leans back in his chair.

"Why, hello Puss."

He's as cocky and bold as usual but I find more and more as the conversation continues, just how much I have missed this insolent man. He tells me of his time on the ship's he's served since he's seen me last, all the while charming his way into multiple smiles and witty comments about _Captain Puss_. All the while he speaks I watch him. Just content to see an old face. It hurts a little as I notice a new scar on his rugged face, but it doesn't scar his handsomeness in the least. He looks a little older and wiser but he's the same old Jared I met up in the rigging aboard the _HMS Wolverine _five years ago. Then again, I suppose I look a little different too.

He must have caught me staring, because his conversation stills and he just grins at me until I shake myself from my thoughts. He doesn't say anything about it, as I thought he might but let's it go, to my pleasure. He knocks back his whiskey and sets the mug on the table.

"So Puss. What brings you to Dublin?"

"I was hoping you might be able to tell me Jared. Liam said you came around Wicklow a few weeks back."I say, taking a sip of my wine. I've calmed considerably since we've exchanged our introductions and I'm feeling much like my old self again. _He's just an old friend after all _"He told me to come find you actually."

"And would you of, if he hadn't?"He asks, grinning.

I don't answer that, I only smile and sip my wine, rasing my eyebrows as I do to urge him on.

"Aye, I found you're old sea dad. I'd heard reports about you everywhere I went and I figured you might be looking to hire on a First Mate." He says, giving me a handsome grin.

"I've already got one." I retort. Holding his gaze.

"A handsome _mate _then?" He asks brashly.

I shake my head and scoff, but I feel a stab in my ungrateful gut.

"Well then, how about a common seamen?" he inquires, sitting back, but not at all losing an edge.

"And demote yourself?" I ask. "After you've risen so far?"

"If it means serving on your ship, with _you_, I'd scrub the head the entire voyage."

I laugh but shake my head again. "I don't need anymore sailors." I say and I think... _could his face have fallen a little_? I narrow my gaze. _Did I imagine that or... _I shake my head again then push my glass aside and lean forward onto the table a bit as if to share a secret. Joseph's brow furrows and he sits forward a hair but remains much the same. I can see now that he's disappointed. Though he still wears his smile, it's a little hollow.

"I may be in need of a Master's Mate... should you know of any man."

Joseph's true smirk ripples across his handsome lips as his gaze heats up. I smile wickedly- I can't help it- and he nods. "I may know of someone who might help you."

"Very good. Have him be at my ship at first light. She's docked on the south pier, you should remember the right of her, The _Lorelei Lee_." I say and stand. He makes a move to follow suit but I stop him. "No. You stay. I've more business to attend to, and it don't include you. Have a drink on me." I say and lay two coins on the table. He makes a move to take hold of my hand but I pull it away. I meet his eyes, holding his gaze steadily for a long moment.

"It's good to see you Joseph Jared."

Joseph's smile softens at my seriousness. His eyes holding mine with ferocity. "Aye. And you Puss."

I flash a open mouthed smile and step away from the table. "Don't spend it all on loose company."

"Why would when yours is all I want?" He calls after me but I don't turn.

The patrons of the tavern laugh at that, calling out their advice to me but I don't stop, I continue on, knowing Joseph is grinning at my back, taking full view of my tail, in my tight pants, as I walk away. He's a dog, he is, but he's one of a kind.

I head directly back to the ship, not even a well lit tavern and frolickin' tunes enough to sway me this night. I get there in good time and nod to McKilnery, whom Higgins no doubt has charged with my safe return. He smiles and nods back, pleased to be spared my stewards' wrath should I not return, and returns to his patrol of the deck. He's got the watch for tonight and seems to be glad to get back to it.

I don't linger on deck tonight but dive into my cabin straight off. Inside, I lean my back against the cold door and pull my bandana off my head, letting the air cool my head. It feels wonderful. I run my fingers through my hair working it loose them let my arm fall limp. I smile. I look around at my neat little cabin and smile. Whether it makes me a fool or not, I don't care.

I push myself off of the door and swagger into my cabin, kicking off my boots and striping off my belts and vest as I do. I think of stripping off my trousers and shirt as well but I decide against it. _It's better I don't_, I tell myself. I drop myself onto my bed and stare at the ceiling a long moment, thinking over our conversation inside the tavern. His face when he noticed me sitting in the shadows before him. His smile. _Oh God, he's a dammed handsome one_. He always was, but back then I was in love with Jaimy. I'm not now. I grin at myself and shake my head. _Calm down girl_. I tell myself. _This is Jared. Joseph Jared. Keep your shirt on. I'll only end badly if you charge into somethin' now. Cool down and stop thinkin' like that. _

I loose my smile, it slippin' cooly off my lips as I grumble at myself. _When has little Mary from Cheapside ever cared about doin' things right and proper? ...Since she was burnt_. I snap at myself. I frown, thinkin' back to the pain Jaimy's betrayal brought me. I turn over onto my side and pull my knees to my chest. I don't want that to happen again. I close my eyes tight and pray like a good little girl. _Please, God, don't let that happen again_. I close my eyes and try to sleep. Dreading but wishing the next day was already here.

* * *

><p>The next morning, I wake with warm sunshine on my face, to sounds of footfall in my cabin. Groggily, I open my eyes to find Higgins picking up whatever I'd dropped upon the floor after I got in last night. I moan and roll over, then with a yawn roll myself out of bed. I'm gettin' soft, as Captain, I muse. I used to have to get up at four in the morning when I was a Midshipman, now I can barely roll out of bed by seven.<p>

"Mornin' Higgins." I say, stumbling towards my table and the breakfast he's brought me. _Yum_. I take the cover off the plate and breath deep the smell of eggs and fried sausage.

Higgins nods. "Good Morning Miss. I hope your business venture last night was a success?"

"Oh Lord!" I cry and jump to my feet, instantly very much awake._ I'd forgotten._

I throw open my cabin door and dash out, my hair wild with sleep and my shirt billowing out around me. No doubt I look an awful sight but I don't care. They've seen me worse, I'm sure of it.

"Leroy!" I screech, looking about wildly. _By God, I swear if they've chased him off I will-_

"Aye, Captain?" Leroy appears upon the sparr deck, lookin' a little worried.

I'm about to bound up and question him as to the whereabouts of Jared when the man himself appears at Leroy's right. I give a sigh of relief and steady my heavin' breath, venturing a look into his face. Immediately, though I want to smile at the sheer sight of him, his insolent grin stops me. I frown at him instead, then turn to Leroy. Leroy must have caught my eyes shift, for he steps back and looks quickly at Jared.

"Sorry Captain, but this man insisted you've hired him on. He's been here an hour, he wouldn't be turned away. I thought it best not to-" I don't listen. I don't take my eyes off Jared's grinnin' face.

"Leroy, bring him to my cabin... if you would."I frown and step away, heading for my cabin.

"Aye captain." Leroy replies, and moves to follow me when Jared rests his arms upon the railing and leans over it, gazing down at him, smirkin' boldly.

"You sure you don't want to change first there Puss?" He grins.

My back stiffens and I look down at myself. I am covered but with my thin shirt billowing around my small chest, I don't doubt that the men have already caught a glimpse of what I may have hidden there. I resist the urge to cross my arms over my chest and instead glare at him and hiss.

"Even so." I then cut my eyes to John Leroy and growl. "Grab that man Leroy, by the collar if necessary, and bring him to my cabin. If he resists..." Which I know he wont but still. "...bind his feet and haul him up into the rigging." I meet Jared's eyes, still sparkin' and grinnin' like nothing's wrong, and continue. "And have him know, that if I hear another snide remark like that, I will keelhaul him on the spot."

That only causes Joseph's grin to grow even smarter, he knows I wouldn't do that to anyone but it makes me angrier to see it. John, listens though and brings him down the stairs, but I don't wait. No. I go back into my cabin directly and whether Higgins had heard the exchange of not he hands me my boots and vest as soon as I enter.

I manage to be dressed a little more appropriately when John and Jared enter, but I know I'm going to get some remark or look from Jared to see me taking his advice so I don't even look at him. Higgins', knowing business is about to ensure, picks up my untouched breakfast, leaving only the cup of coffee behind, and heads for the door when he see's Jared and stops.

"Mr. Jared..." Higgins nods."How pleasant it is to see you again. I trust you are well?"

"Higgins." I say. They'll be time for small talk later.

Jared grins at me then gives Higgins a wink. "We'll see 'ol man."

Higgins looks at me but I don't notice him. No, I'm too busy staring daggers at Jared. _That man. Honestly. I'll kill him yet. _Higgins heaves a sigh and leaves, closing the door behind him. I sit at my little table, thinking how it would be much nicer to have a desk for this kind of thing. Maybe I'd be like Mistress Primm... _Stand on the line! Drop drawers! Bend over... and WAM! Hmmm. _

"Mr. Leroy. This is man, I don't doubt has told you, is Joseph Jared. I've served with him before and he is, although I regret to admit it..." A cold look at Jared. "... to be our new Master's Mate."

"And Smith Captain?" John asks.

_Damn_. I think for a moment. I should have considered this before I signed Jared on. Smith is a good man, and handles his position well, but Jared... I cut my eyes to his and I believe he can see my thoughts. His lips curve upwards for only a moment but I know he has an idea. I raise my brows at him and pick up my coffee.

"Mr. Jared?" I ask then sip at my coffee. _Lord that's good_.

"If you'd be willing... _Captain_." he says lowering his chin and giving me a lusty little snarl that only I catch, John doesn't notice..._ luckily_. I hold his gaze, rasing my chin in challenge to his look. I know he wishes we were alone. Part of me wishes it to but I don't let him know that. No cause it's safer this way. For now at least.

"Yes, Mr. Jared?" I inquire sweetly, over the edge of my mug, as he's not continued.

"If you'd be willing, I'd accept another post... if I'd help you out of a spot." He finishes, clearly not happy with me but hiding it well. John doesn't suspect a thing.

I arch my brow and smile inwardly as I watch his nostrils flair slightly. _Oh Jared, what a handsome male you are_. I love this. I really do. With John here he can't do anything, even though he wants to... though I want him to... protocol and all. The wicked thing in me is enjoying this immensely.

"I do confess, I find myself in a spot." I set down my coffee and drum my fingers on the table top. "Leroy."

"Yes Captain?"

"What am I in need of... by way of men?" I regard my First Mate, knowing for certain Jared is leering at me for my choice of words but that was my plan. I fight hard to keep a smile from appearing on my face.

John Leroy thinks for a moment, I should have really called for Higgins to bring the ship's articles, but he's quick and does his job well. He does well off the top of his head and on the spur of the moment.

"We've lost Forester and Palmer can't handle two divisions 'imself. We're in sore need of a replacement."

_Hmm_. I think for a moment. I look at Joseph. I know it's not as good a position as I've promised but until I can think of another way to promote him, I'll have to have him do something. Besides, this is a chance for me to get him back for his cheek. Whether he'll see it that way or not I don't know but he'll have to understand.

"Very well. Write Mr. Jared in as Division Officer for the first division gun crew and move Palmer to the second, I need his experience there more than the first."

"Aye Captain." John replies, although Palmer had the first to begin with.

"Then take Mr. Jared and acquaint him with the ship, find him a hammock and mess kit and introduce him to his division. Then, I would like you to report back to me." I say and wave them off, taking another sip of coffee.

John nods and gives a quick little salute before turning for the door but Joseph holds his place a moment, as if to stay. I quickly cut my eyes to him and frown. _Not now Jared_. I mouth. Joseph reads my lips and nods slightly, knuckling his brow.

"Captain..." He says but adds every so quietly before he turns. "...Puss."

I watch him leave. A smile on my lips.


	4. Our First Encounter

_**Chapter Four :: Our First Encounter**_

We spend the first week safe enough, considering it's Jacky Faber in control. Me, the girl who's chased and out chased British warships, who's been called a pirate and had a price on her head, and then been pressed into a life of spying. I've been in and out of the worst circumstances without too much wear and tear, but when males are concerned, I've had less luck. Thankfully though, I'm about the only one who notices because I don't get too much trouble from Jared during that time.

We cross over from Ireland and head down to the southern tip of Whales for a little honest profit. I'd take the men to France, where fat prices are guaranteed but I'm not over my entire _La Fille Sans Merci _scare. Besides I don't think French Intelligence is over my less than graceful leave of their company either. So we stay away and look for our prices elsewhere. We spend a week prowling the coast, selling our prices as soon as we've got hold of them, then head out. It's prime weather and the tides' in our favour so I make my decision and, seeing as the majority of my crew are without family, I give my order. We head out and begin over the ocean. We will winter in the Caribbean.

Our crossing is rough but we reach Puerto Rico without too much damage. I'm standing on the spar deck with John Leroy, debating over a safe haven. There's a hellish squall building quick off our starboard side and the main islands are still good league away. There's islands dotting our path but nothing safe enough for us to tuck into and wait out the storm. I've full canvass and we're clawing our way for safety but the storm is coming upon us fast. We're surrounded by whitecaps, the waves build steadily until I look at John for advice. He's got none. I can see it in his face. My blood chills as I look over my ship and crew then the storm gaining on us. We can't outrun it.

"Jacoby!" I call to my helmsman, fighting hard against the wind and pounding waves. "Take her three degrees south by south east. Tuck her in behind that island there and hold her steady!"

"Aye captain!" he shouts back and get's to it just as the first wave crashes over our railing.

I move to the centre line and place each of my feet on either side of the line. The ship is pitching and rolling in this weather but I can't do anything until she's out of the wind's brunt. I know she'll still have a hard time of it behind the island but the land will take the harness of the squall from us. Hopefully that will be enough to save us. I look up into the rigging and feel my blood drain at the sight of my men being tossed about. It's no use to try and run now, the main sail is taking too much wind and we're rockin' unsteadily.

"Furl the mainsail and tighten that fore mast sail- she's luffing!" I call as loud as my lungs will allow but it does not good in this wind. Another wave crashes over our deck, knocking all those upon it to their feet. I watch the men struggle to their feet when I hear, far off in the distance

"Man overboard!"

"Leroy! You have the con!" I yell into his face, the howling wind pulling away my voice as soon as it's left him lips. I'm soaked and so is he but he manages to nod and takes my place while I tear off down the stairs and grab a rope for the men huddled along the rail.

"Where?" I yell. The men point towards the water. I don't see anyone but I hand the rope off and yell. "Where'd he go over?"

"From the rigging captain!" The man yells back, pointing up. I cannot see his face, the sea water blinding me as another wave crashes over the deck. But I think it to be one of my first division crew.

I turn and look up at the rigging, masked in darkness but a flash of lighting ignites several men fighting with the mainsail. They can't do it alone. Quickly, I kick off my boots and jump up onto the railing and leap up the main mast tackle. I climb hand over hand as quickly as I can but another wave comes and knocks violently at my body, nearly causing me to let go but I'm strong and I hold tight. I look around me and can see another wave building, heading right for us, but I turn my attention to my task and continue up. I hear shouting below but I can't make it out. I press on. Finally I reach the main mast yard arm and crawl over the tackle and step out onto the yard yarn, but it's that moment that the next wave hits. I grab for the tackle but miss it and feel myself begin to fall. One of the men grabs for me but it's too late. For a moment I feel weightless but then the fall comes to me full on and I hit the deck.

All my world goes black.

* * *

><p>When I finally wake, I'm in my cabin. Not knowing what day or hour it is but I know I'm alive for the painful throbbing in my head. I lie here now, Higgins has come and gone, severely scolding me for my rash actions as he tended to my wounds, but he's gone now and I'm alone once more. Higgins has left me to sleep but I cannot. I feel the tender stitching around the edge of my forehead on the right side and hope it doesn't scar. That is the last thing I need, another scar in which I can be identified from. I lay my head back upon the pillow and sigh. <em>Confined again.<em>

I open and close my eyes several times before I feel them a little heavy and turn onto my side, in hopes sleep with claim me quickly but I know better than that. It's then, that I nearly jump out of fright, for I find Joseph Jared standing by my door. He is looking at me. I shrink back into my bed and pull the covers up closer about my chin.

"What are you doing here?" I hiss. "You're not suppose to be-"

I quickly stop. My head hurts and he is ignoring me anyway. He leaves the door and comes to me, only stopping when he reaches my bedside. My eyelids are heavy, but it seems like his are too. I've never seen him like this actually, not but once anyway, it surprises and scares me.

"Jared?" I whisper, my head still throbbing.

Jared sits down upon my bed next to me. His movements are slow and heavy. He looks at the floor, not saying a word. He's scaring me. I can't take it. I slip my hand out from under the covers and lay it on his strong arm.

"Why...?" Is all he asks, his voice quiet, all traces of his cocky innocence nowhere to be seen, instead his voice is hitched with something dark. "Why do you _always _have to put yourself in danger?"

He looks at me then, a look that makes me wish I was dead. It's worse than the sting of Mistress's Primm's rod. Worse than Amy's cold disapproval and Higgins stringing alcohol soaked rag. All in all it is the worst look I've ever gotten from anyone, and it's coming from Jared. I don't know what to say to him. There's nothing I can say. Nothing to make that look go away.

"I'm sorry." I whisper anyway. _Truly I am. _I have never been more sorry in my life than at this moment. I look up into his ashen face, to the darkness in his eyes.

"I thought you were dead." he says, his voice growing sharper with each word. _He resents me. He is angry with me. He is _very _angry_. "We all thought you were."

I stay quiet, maybe it's better to let him yell. To let him be angry at me. I can't stop him. Jared turns and looks at me full. I can see the dark circles under his eyes and his tight jaw muscles. He looks exhausted but he's still clenching his teeth, still holding his anger in. He looks so... unlike himself. I hardly hear him at all.

"What the _hell _were you trying to do?" He growls in a tone I've naught heard but once in my entire time knowing him. It's not his way.

"I was helping." I reply, as quiet as a mouse.

"The hell you were!" He snaps, standing quickly, then quickly falling into a pace next to my bed. "The only damn thing you were doing was trying to get your scrawny ass killed. Bloody hell girl, you _always _do it, you-"

"But you're always there." I murmur, stopping him in his tracks. I meet his eyes, remembering only bits and pieces from the accident. "It was you who carried me in here... wasn't it?"

Jared's chest rises and falls several times before he sits back down. I drop my eyes and stare blankly at something on the shoulder of his shirt before I realize it is my blood that is still there. I feel weak and am in need of sleep but I feel old demons clawing for me.

"Jared. Go find Higgins. Please. Tell him I want to sleep and wont need anything else today. If he insists have him give you whatever it is I need. Then come back here. I don't want to be alone tonight, I feel old nightmares coming for me."

Jared stands and leaves without a word. I close my eyes and steady my breathing, trying to put his frown out of my mind. It isn't long before he returns, but it feels like it is, carrying a shallow dish and bottle. He sets them on the bedside table and takes an empty glass Higgins' left me, fills it halfway with the murky liquid then holds it out to me. I take only swallow half of it and hand it back to him. He moves to place it upon the table but I stop him.

"No. Drink it. It will help." I say, then slowly move myself over in my little bed as he knocks it back. He looks at the empty glass and I know what he's thinkin'. _Tastes like candy_. I pull at the covers weakly but he helps me and throws them back a little then sits on the bedside.

He slips off his boots and looks down at his shirt, still marked with my blood. In a moment his shirt is doffed and cast on the floor. He then turns, swinging his legs under the covers along side mine, and my eyes quickly slide over his well muscled frame, before it disappears under the covers. He turns his face to mine and I can feel the opium working already. I inch towards him and lay my head on his shoulder, my stitched wound safely pointed to the ceiling, and my hand on his bare chest. He covers my hand with his and I believe at the same time as I do, he closes his eyes.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The next morning, I wake slowly. I've forgotten about my wound. Forgotten where I am. But I know who lies beside me. He is still asleep but holding tightly to my hand on his chest. I take this moment, in my sleep addled mind, to look upon him without shame. I watch his sleeping face, so calm and at peace, and wonder again why ever did he decide to come looking for me._ Did he know I needed someone? I always end up needing someone_. Sooner or later I always fall into trouble, I can't charm my way out of. Yet, amid those times, more often then not he's always been the one to help me out of it. I lay my head back onto his shoulder and think.

The first time I needed help and he was there it was the day I was press gaged and jumped ship. He tried to pull me into his boat, thinking I might drown, with a mooring hook, well tried to at any rate. He didn't manage it but I was taken on board his ship. We met one of the next few days. I needed help again soon after, the night Captain Scroggs tried to have his way with me. Jared did all he could, with the others, to prevent that event and although they didn't know it then, they succeeded. Next it was when that damned Frenchman tried to stab me through during a boarding party, later another tried to shoot me and even later than that, at Trafalgar, he helped me get away, freeing me from Captain's Thumbell's claim over the price on my head. He cared for me always, even in the French prison, when we were detained and yet through all that all I did... _every time_, was leave him.

Then that makes me remember Cheng Shih, and all those days I spent with her on silk pillows aboard her ship. I think of her now only because of what she believed. She would have looked at my history with Jared and uttered one word. Destiny. It gives me a little chill thinking about it, although I don't really believe in that stuff but... the more I think about it I can't help the tears that spring into my eyes. I can't help it no more. I ball my hand into a fist upon his chest and manage to take hold of one of his fingers. It ain't much but I tighten my grasp on it and the tears spill over my nose and drop onto his shoulder.

"Why Jared?" I whisper, thinkin' he's still asleep but I feel his grasp on my hand tighten. My eyes, tears stillin' for the moment, dart to his but they're still closed. Instead, his lips part, peeling from each other to whisper

"Why what Puss?"

I'm trembling and my heads hurtin' but I don't take my eyes off his face or my hand away from his. "Why do you always come? Why are you always the one who's here for me when I need help?"

Jared's lips twitch into a smile but he doesn't open his eyes. "Someone's got to. That Fletcher ain't here."

The name stings, but I don't dwell on it long. "Jaimy and I arn't..."

"I know." He replies softly, now opening his eyes finally to look at me. His face scant inches from mine, I can feel his breath on my face. I don't move but my eyes search his face. _You know_? "Your mate, Davy, told me. He was worked into a fine lather about it too."

_Oh Davy. Always fightin' me and you but you cared, didn't you? You really did_.

"You didn't know that I went and saw him, though did you... when I thought you were dead, after that hoax in the French prison? I wasn't the same man back then Puss. That Fletcher told me you were alive and I was never happier. But, you were intended to him back then. It stung, that, cause I knew I'd never really be able to tell you how good it felt to know you were alive, you foolish girl." He smiles at me and strokes my cheek, making me beam under his attention. "But I told him, right then, that if he'd ever be foolish enough to let you slip through his fingers, I'd be there."

I close my eyes and lay my forehead, _the good part of it anyway_, on his shoulder. I want to cry or curse but I don't. No, I only nestle my head back onto his shoulder, my lips on his skin._ Why? Why didn't I ever know?_ But I couldn't of. Not then, when Jaimy and me had an understandin' I wouldn't of been able to do anything even if I had known.

"Then, a few months back, I spoke to Davy. That's when he told me about you two..." Joseph continues "... he said that Fletcher hadn't proved true and had left you, the gutless-"

"His family." I say, stopping him. "Don't think badly of him because of me. His family never liked me. They forced him to marry _her_ instead._ They _stopped him from marrying me."

"It shouldn't of." Jared replies, turning my face to look at him. "If it'd of been me, nothing would have stopped me. Not an entire fleet of warships or the fiery bonds of hell ... but I looked into it when we came into Brighton, just to be sure, found it to be true." Jared looks at me with sympathy then smiles ever so slightly, making my head fuzzy "So that's when I came looking for you. I swore I'd have you if Fletcher didn't, even when you were intended to him... I cautioned him to keep tight hold of you and yet he let you go."

I watch him. Silent. I don't know what to say to that. I'm still trying to work around his words, what he's trying to tell me but I'm distracted by his face so close to mine and his body laying next to me. I blink slowly. Workin' out his words. _Do you mean to say that you told Jaimy you cared for me back then? Did you care for me all that time ago? Do you still do? Is that why you came to find me? 'Cause you loves me? _Jared smirks and brushes the hair away from my tender wound on my forehead.

"You're one of a kind Puss but I've never seen you with nothing to say."

I have to smile at that. I scoff actually. It feels good to have him in good humour again.

"Does it matter what I say?" I ask. Truly I don't know what I'm saying or where I'm going with this but what little trust I have in myself at this moment, I let it have reign on my tongue. "I only can think of one thing, to ask you what you plan to do now?"

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"_You _have me now... like you've wanted. What are you going to do about it?"

Jared smiles, slowly at first, as if that idea had never entered his mind, but soon enough he's got his full grin of handsome pride upon his lips. He takes his hand away from my face and slips it around my waist, pulling my little body close to his strong one. Immediately I feel my head swim. All I'm thinkin' about his body against mine. I try not to think about it and keep my eyes focused on his. It's hard but I manage. I don't know how long I can though.

"I suppose I'll kiss you then, Puss." He says with a smirk, lifting his head off the pillow.

I smile back at him but put my finger on his lip, only briefly as he comes at me immediately.

"Carefully Jared." I caution him. I'm still very sore, and know for a certainly I probably shouldn't be doing anything but that look in his eye tells me he doesn't care much for _probably _at this moment. He smiles and nips my lip before whispering against them

"Aye. I'm very careful."

Then he kisses me. _And oh does he kiss me. _


	5. The Waters That Lay Ahead

_**Chapter Five:: The Waters that Lay Ahead**_

Higgins is awful strict with me lately. It's been two days since I woke in my cabin and a week since my fall. He doesn't let me out nor anyone in but somehow Jared always finds a way in. Already he's had to dive into my wardrobe as Higgins surprised us but I'm going to have to tell Higgins soon. I know I will. I don't like keeping this from him but I'm scared he'll bar Jared from my cabin as well, saying I need my rest.

I stare at the ceiling and wait. Of course I'm waitin' for Jared. He's not come yet today. And I'm thinkin' I don't need rest, I need Jared. His visits break up the dull monotonous days full of nothing. _He's not bad company either, for other reasons of course. _I hear a creak and lift myself up onto my elbows, looking around cautiously, when I jump out of excitement as Jared slips his shoulders in through my window. He grins, sitting astride the window frame then jumps in, closes the window quietly, and comes for me. He leans over me, meeting me with a strong kiss. _Hmm_. When he pulls back to smile at me I raise my brow in question.

"The window?"

It's clever but not an easy thing to do in the least. He must have climbed over the railing and used the just the moulding for support. It's crazy, it is, he could have fallen and been lost without a soul realizing it. I shudder at the thought, but I'm more than happy it didn't happen.

"Like it Puss? I thought it was easier than the door." he grins, giving me another kiss.

"What of the helmsman?" I manage to ask, my arms slipping around his neck as he bends me back down onto my pillow, placing himself above me.

"No problem." He smirks. "I climbed up from the State Room."

I smile against his lips. Wanting to laugh. "I will have to hang a rope out my window for you shall I? To make your way easier."

He grins and kisses me again. "You can make it even easier by letting me stay up here."

"You know I cant." I frown.

Jared bites my lip and pulls back. He knows it. It's enough he comes to me like this. We shouldn't do this, it isn't right but I can't help myself. Neither can he. I've been able to keep my wits about me, but only barely. I've not surrendered my virtue to him, though he's tried, but I know it won't be long. I'd like to think myself a virtuous young woman and keep hold of it until my wedding night... should ever I have one... but each time he comes I find it harder to resist.

Jared walks over to the cabinet on the opposite wall and pulls out a bottle of wine and a glass. A single glass in case we are surprised, but this night he locks my door as he passes it. He meets my eye as he leaves it and flashes a wicked grin. _Oh no. _I want to smile at him too, for I can feel my stomach churn for another kiss but I don't. I'm actually a little worried. Jared stops beside the bed and uncorks the wine, filling the glass before he kicks off his boots and sits himself down on my bed, next to me. He takes a sip of the wine and offers it to me. I sip it, but slowly.

"So tell me. What's happened since the storm. Higgins won't speak a word to me and refuses to let John in at all." I ask, fitting myself in the crook of his arm, leaning my head back against his shoulder.

He grins. "Even _dear John _isn't allowed it. Fancy that."

"Jared." I scoff, elbowing him in the side. "I'm serious."

Jared takes another mouthful of wine and leans back against the headboard, crossing his ankles."Well, you've been out for a while. Leroy's been doing well in your stead but there's much work to be done and much of it needs a Captain."

"What's happened?" I ask, worried about my ship and men without me.

"There's still damage from the storm being repaired. Leroy's made the call and we head for San Juan come morning for repairs. Mostly the men are worried about the health of their Captain. You're man isn't much one for words." Jared says handing the wine back. I take another sip, still worrying over my men, when Jared says

"Maybe I should put them at ease."

"No." I retort quickly. I catch his grin and can't help but smile.

"You ashamed of me Puss?" He asks, leaning in for another kiss but I turn my face away . It doesn't stop him though, he drops his lips onto my neck and works about there for a time. Making it terribly hard for me to think straight.

"No." I say, my voice shaky as my body betrays me and responds to his actions. _I moan_. I bite my lip quickly but it's no good, he's heard and he smiles, moving his lips down my neck.

"No." I repeat, going on, trying to pretend things are fine and normal. "It's just..."

I wince and shove the wine glass into his hand. I can't hold it. I can barely think straight. He grins all the more so and pauses only long enough to set the glass unsteadily upon the bedside, before shifting down upon the bed, taking me with him. I work hard to resist but I'm quickly failing. His lips meet mine again and I know for sure I'm going to be lost when something inside me suddenly takes hold of my mind and I put my hand on his chest, pushing him back.

"Wha-? What's wrong Puss?" He asks, his eyes feverish with the thought of the prize he's got in mind. I know that for sure.

"No Jared." I say, my voice a little shaky still but stronger than I would have expected. "I can't."

He gives me a little smile and frees his hand from my hair to draw a little circle on my neck. It makes my skin ripple but I keep my eyes on his, holding my ground.

"Come on Puss." He purrs. _He's good at this._

"No." I repeat. Not at all knowing where these words are coming from. "I have great love for you Jared, but I can't. Not like this."

"Then how Puss? You need a wedding ring? I'll marry you."

I chuckle and shake my head as best I can. "You're not the type."

"Sure I am. For you I'd bo anything."

I smile. "And I believe you, but I'm not ready to be married. Even to you." I answer him, as truthfully as I can. I would marry him, in a heartbeat, but I'm still hurting from Jaimy and we've only spent a few weeks together again. _How can I know if you're true?_ I ask. Watching him carefully.

"Come on now Puss." He says with a smile. "What do you want? I've loved you ever since you leapt from the _Wolverine's _railing, planning on swimming to France if you had too."

I smile at the memory. "No I think it was ever since you got a good look at my tail you rascal. Pulling at my trousers with that mooring hook."

Jared grins and looks off blankly at the wall, _lost in thought no doubt_. "Oh ya. I forgot about that. You're right."

"Hey." I laugh, punching him in the chest.

He laughs it off and pulls me in for another kiss but he don't do anythin' else. He listens to me. He kisses me long and hard, like he always does but it feels like our first kiss back on the _Emerald_. _This time_, my wicked mind exclaims, _I'll do it right_. And I do. I bite down hard on his tongue. He pulls back quickly, cursing as he does.

"You bloody little fox! You bit me!"

I can't help it. I laugh at him. Enjoying it heartily until he grabs my wrists and holds them above my head. I stop laughing as he gives me that real heated look. The one I know means something. I hold his gaze but he doesn't do anything, though he probably wants to. No he only makes me worry then lets me go, and I love him all the more so for it. I really do. No, he only stands and goes to the looking glass next to my wardrobe.

"Why'd you bite me?" He pouts, looking at his tongue for traces of blood in the glass.

I snuggle myself into a comfortable spot, enjoying watching him fret, and smile. "I did what I should have done back on the _Emerald _when you kissed me. Do you remember?"

Finding no blood, Jared turns and looks at me. Laying there. He just stands there and grins. "Aye."

"I told myself then I should have bitten you."

"But you didn't." He says, his eyes narrowing a bit.

"No."

The ship's bell sounds. Calling the next watch and Jared frowns.

"What?" I ask.

"I've got watch now." He says, collecting his boots from where he kicked them off. I pout. I don't want him to go. He sits on the bed and pulls on his boots then stands, turns and leans over me again. "Sweet dreams Puss."

"I'll miss you." I say, feeling all sentimental.

Jared smiles and kisses me full on. This time I don't mind. This time I don't bite him. _Oh no, I welcome it. _When he pulls back he gives me a grin. "That's better."

I smile and just lay there as he turns to go, back to the window, but he goes by the door first and unlocks it. He then heads for the window, unlatching it and poking his head out to be sure the way in clear. It's then that I slip out of bed and pad over to the window, which he's now straddling. He catches sight of me and is about to order me back to bed but I don't let him. No. I grab him by his shirt and give him a strong open mouthed kiss. He puts his arms around me and begins to stand. By the time I pull my lips from his he's only got his foot out the window and he's lookin' at me real hot, towering over me.

"I'll get Hawkins to take my watch." he pledges but I shake my head. Putting the look of a poor little devoted girl on my face.

"No. Go." I say stepping back, letting go of him.

"I'm serious Puss." He says intently.

I smile and shake my head and say as stern as I can "No, I order you out on watch Jared."

Jared frowns and moves back through the window but pauses long enough to reach out and tug at the drawstring closing the neck of my nightgown. It loosens and catches the window from the window, peeling back but I catch it before I flash him. I swat at Jared but he only grins.

"Something for me to think about during my watch." He grins

"You should have your mind on your work, not on anything else. Now get going." I growl, groggily working at my nightgown.

"We'll see about that." He laughs and slips down and out of view, leaving me to close the window. Which I do then head back to bed, working to tie my nightgown.

I get it tied and slip back into bed, quite exhausted from the banter that's been exchanged this evening. I pull the covers up around me and stare at the ceiling. I think over all that Jared's said, now being free of his eyes, lips and hands it's easier but I still tremble. _Oh Lord_. I growl at myself and turn over onto my side. _I'm lost this time. They'll be no stopping this one_.

Sure it's Jared but he and I are alike in many ways. We're both headstrong and impulsive. We've both a love for life and adventure, a love of the sea. We're not the kind to feel shy when there's profit involved and we're good at what we do. He and I are a lot alike. I can see it now. I sigh. Wishing he was here. _But he ain't girl so go to bed_. I close my eyes and breath deep, waiting for sleep to claim me but all the while I'm thinkin' of him. _I think I love him_, _like __love_. I open my eyes suddenly, surprised with myself. It's only been two weeks. _But you've known him for years now and it's always the same. Have you seen him with another? No but- Has he talked about another? ...No. And yet he's told you true enough that he cares for you. He went to Jaimy even and told him_.

I stop now for a minute and think of Jaimy. I close my eyes and try and picture his face but it's not as clear as I remember. I don't feel the stab in my heart as I think of him. He's happy where he is. I open my eyes again and think of Jared and immediately my heart beats faster. I smile and close my eyes again.

I love him. I do.

It's with that thought that I drift off into a happy dreamless sleep.

vvvvvvv

I wake the next morning before Higgins comes and I dress by myself. I've got to do this quick before I'm stopped. I don't even bother tiding my cabin a little. No I just get my pants on, a shirt and boots. I'm a little shaky on my feet but my head's starting to clear. _That's good_. I pull my hair back and tie it. Simple today, that's all. It's that way that I pull open my door and step out. I walk out into the sunshine and find us nearing San Juan. We'll be docked within the hour but I'm not going to wait.

A few crewmen notice me right off, calling to me but I only give them a wave. _Go back to work now lads. I'm fine_. I look for Leroy and although I know Higgins is going to bear down on me within seconds I find him on the quarterdeck and quickly head up there.

"Leroy." I say, disregarding his worry. He sees the fresh scar on my head, as have everyone else. "I'm fine." I say, pulling his eyes back to mine. "What's the word?"

"Well Captain, we're suffered some damage in that storm and we need to hire out the work. The men can't complete it well enough, though they've done their best. So I've had them head for San Juan." He looks a little sheepish to know my thoughts but I smile and lay my hand on his shoulder.

"Well done Leroy. I agree. Give the men a rest, they deserve it."

John nods. He looks like he wants to smile but he don't. "There's another thing Captain. We lost some men in that storm. Luke Mason and Richard Davies"

My smiles faces and I frown. _Oh lads. May the good Lord accept you into his Kingdom, you deserve it. _"What happened?" I ask, my mind running over what I remember from the storm.

"We lost Davies overboard. Before you fell. And Mason was... crushed by a canon, which came loose, shortly after you were taken away." He says, sullen at the thought. Must have been gruesome. "We had a service for them Captain, back when we feared the worst. But we're still without a man to take Davies place."

_Yes_. I think about the men. Luke was a common sailor, he was a good man, I'll miss him and Richard. But that get's me thinking. Richard was Sailing Master, not in formality like in His Majesty's Royal Navy but in my books. I gave him that title and he wore it proudly. I know who I'm going to appoint right off but I feel eyes on me and turn. There's Higgins, standing on the edge of the stairs, staring at me hard. I don't even try to say anything I just turn back to John and say

"Give me ten minutes then come to my cabin and bring Jared."

He nods and I go off with Higgins like a good girl.

"I'm fine Higgins." I say as he leads me into my cabin. _He ain't happy_. "Honestly. See I can walk and talk. My head ain't huritn' too bad anymore and there's lots of work to do."

"That may be so Miss, you feeling better, but let Mr. Leroy do his job and care for the work needing to be done. You still need your proper rest."

"But Higgins!" I whine. I'm_ not going to stay in that bloody bed a moment longer_. But he doesn't put me back there, instead he sits me at my table and points to this dish he's brought.

"I know you do not want to be in this cabin anymore, but until you gain you're strength you cannot resume your normal duties. You could still have a relapse."

I frown. _I've got my strength_. I say to myself. _If you knew how much strength I had you'd think twice_. _I've been in here gettin' nothing but rest. _I turn to my breakfast which is awful good. _I've got enough strength to get by, Jared's been helpin' with that_. But I don't say it, I just stop taking to myself and fall to, eating everything he's brought me then I drink my tea.

"You'll at least have to let me out of here." I say, all sour.

"Yes Miss. You are allowed to go out and take the air, it will be good for you now that the stitches have taken. But you must be careful. Take a turn about the deck but nothing more." he commands, collecting my dishes.

_Fine_. I think. _I can do with that_. It's then that there's a knock at me door. Higgins turns to me, not pleased but I shrug.

"Needs to be done Higgins. This is all I'll do. I promise. Just this one little things. Pleeeeese." I give him my best poor little waif look. My _'Oh helpless little me' _ sighs and nods. I rejoice. He meets John and Jared at the door, nods to them and leaves. John and Jared come into my cabin and stand before my little table. I catch Jared's eyes cut to my unmade bed and can see his mind workin'. He's thinking about me laying there he is. I let a small smile slip from my lips but look at John instead.

"Won't you sit?" I motion to the chairs and the men sit. "I've asked you to come here to settle a matter of business." I turn to Jared. "It turns out Mr. Jared, that I find myself in a spot once again. One I hope you may be able to get me out of."

No jokin' this time no. He narrows his eyes, not expecting this to be sure.

"As you know we've lost a few good men in that storm we had. One of which was my Sailing Master. You served as Sailing Master for some time aboard the _HMS Dauntless, _a position which secured you a great deal of commendation and experience." It's here he smiles. "I've no doubt you would carry the position well, should you want it that is, aboard my ship."

Jared thinks for a moment, his damned handsome smile on his face then nods. "Aye captain. I'll take it."

"Good." I reply then turn to John. "Write him into the books as such Leroy and give Palmer the First Division Gun Crew. Has he named his second?"

"That would be Laurel."

"Very good. Place him as Division Officer for the second crew."

Leroy nods.

"That is all men." I say in conclusion. "Congratulations Mr. Jared."

The men stand and I offer my hand to Jared. It's formal like. He takes it and gives it a firm shake, but when we drop our hands his fingers linger, brushing my skin they slide apart. I meet his eyes, for John has already turned to go, and hold his gaze.

"Congratulations Jared." I repeat quietly and give him a smile. "How does it feel?"

"Feels good to be back." He grins.

"Well I hope you'll be with us for a while." I say, wanting terribly to kiss him but I hold back. "I've some things in mind."

Jared grins and notices John paused at the door. He turns back to me and gives me a wink. "Oh I'll be here for a while then Puss."

And with that he goes. My Sailing Master, that rascal Joseph Jared. It feels good saying it. He deserves it and much, much more.


	6. Who We Are

_**Chapter Six::Who We Are**_

We're docked at San Juan for a few days to deal with repairs but it's spent in good company so none of us mind. We have a wonderful time, frequenting taverns and sharing songs. The lot of us. For the first few days I place myself on the opposite shore liberty crew as Jared to be safe. He gives me a tensive glare as I trot down the gangplank for the first time without him but it's good for us, to be separated from each other. He needs time with his mates without me and I think this is a good test for his loyalty. _Cool his ardour a bit too_. But soon enough, midway through our stay at San Juan, I decide it's time for me to spend time with the other half of the crew so as not to show favouritism. _That's fine with me. _

I have a great time with 'em too. They get me up and I share a tune on my pennywhistle and I do but I listen to Higgins' voice in my head and only do the one. They try and get me up again, Jared especially being very eager with his jeering, but I shake my head. I want to show off, it's in my nature, but I hold back this time. We have a great time anyway and end up getting kicked out of the tavern in the wee hours in the morning. That's fine, we all head back to the ship together, singin' and swaying in the street. It's a great night.

The next day I wake and strap on my gear. Today I should probably be hangin' around to look after things here but John insists I take it easy. _Higgins must have got to you_. So I shrug it off and head back into my cabin, dress in the green gown I like and come out blinkin' in the sun with my bonnet hanging from my hand. I smile into the sunshine, watching the men on liberty heading down the gangplank. I catch Jared's eye and smile. _Meet me at the green_. I mouth. He nods. The green is right before the courthouse and not at all like the green back in Boston but it's a kind of park dotted with palm tress. It's a pleasant spot that can be seen from the ship, up on the hill.

So I leave him at the ship and head off into town, knowing for certain he'll meet me there. I take in the shops and browse. It's a wonderful city. The sun so warm and the smell of the exotic flower floating all around me. It's grand. I buy a few things with the money in my purse and have them sent to the ship. A new book or two, a smart hat, new sheets. I smile picking out the thread count. _Hmm. Livin' in luxury now little Mary_.

I don't take too long though, knowing I've got to meet Jared, and before long I'm a stridin' up to the green to find him already here. He grins at me and stands up from the bench under a palm tree. I don't know how long he's been waiting for me but I smile and drop my eyes to half mast. _Gotta look the part now, just a humble girl out to take a turn with her sweetheart_. When I reach him I take his arm and we walk out across the opposite side of the green and down the street. Out of the open space of the green and the full view of everyone and anyone who might be interested in little 'ol me and Jared, I smile.

"I thought we might sightsee today. We should be safe uptown." I say, sliding my arm out of his to take his hand._ Hmm. Feels good, his strong one holding mine. _

Jared grins and pauses to look at me. "Trying to look the part Puss?"

I smile and show off a bit, doing a twirl. "Like it?"

"I'd rather the trousers to be honest." He grins, I give him a playful punch but he throws his arm over my shoulder and pulls me against him. "But I could get used to the view."

I laugh and push him away. No doubt he's lookin' down my bodice. _That rascal_. But I take his hand again and we head off down the street as happy as can be.

It ain't long we've got. The morning and part of the afternoon at best, him needing to be back in time to take his place while the next liberty crew heads off into the town, but we enjoy our time. We eat at a small restaurant facing the posh homes atop the hills and watch fancy ladies and gentlemen struttin' around, giving us cold looks. No doubt they are wonderin' what a sailor and questionable lass like me are doing up in their part of town but we don't pay them much attention. It's a nice day and nothing's going to ruin it. I'm feeling good to be free and feeling even better feeling Jared's eyes following my every move. _It's nice it is. _

"So Puss." Jared says when we leave the restaurant. "What now?"

I think for a moment. We've already done a bit of shopping, strolled around hand in hand and eaten. He's been awful good. Nothing but a peck here and there, his arm around me or holding my hand. I smile and rub his hand with my thumb.

"You choose." I say, smiling up at him.

He raises his brows and smirks at me comically as if to say _are you sure about that?_ I smile and nod.

"Honestly. You choose." I repeat.

He grins and gives a shrug then loops his arm over my shoulder and leads me off. We walk down the street for a bit, back down towards the docks when he stops me and points to our destination._ A church_? I frown and look up at him curiously.

"You want to go to church?" I ask with a smile.

Jared grins and shakes his head. He takes his arm off my shoulder and turns to face me. "Ney. I want to get married now Puss."

"What?" I exclaim. I didn't think he was serious when he said it last week, I still don't but... _still_. Jared grins and reaches up to touch my face when he notices my neck. It's flaring up red like it does at times like this.

"What's this?" he asks, a little worried something might be wrong.

I don't take my eyes from his face. I can't. "It's from a noose. You know, when the pirate LeFievre tried to hang me. It flares up when I get... excited or agitated. " I tell him.

He meets my eyes and smiles. "You excited Puss?"

"No." I retort firmly but I'm shakin' inside. "What's wrong with you? Let's get out of here, this isn't funny. Come on." I take his arm and pull at it, trying to get him to move be he doesn't. He pulls me back to stand before him.

"Ney. This is what I want to do." He says lookin' down at me all serious. He's towering over me, standing close, but there's kindness in his eyes. It warms my heart but I'm still scared.

"Jared." I fumble.

He puts his finger on my lips, stoppin' me from going further, and he grins. My eyes are locked with his.

"Come on now Puss. You aren't afraid of being married, you were going to-"

"_Don't_... stop Jared." I say , finally pulling my eyes from his. He's got his hands around my waist, and I lay my hand on his strong arm, my eyes dropped, looking blankly at his flat stomach. I'm trying to figure out what I want to do but I can't. _I want to do this, deep down I do, but I think it's too soon_. Part of me, the scared part of me, doesn't want to marry him because I don't want any babes anytime soon. I want to be free to sail on my ship. _I want to be free Jared_.

Tears spring up into my eyes and my shoulder gives a little shake. Jared pulls me in and I wrap my arms around him and hug him tight. I still feel like a kid around him sometimes him being so big and strong and me being tiny but strokes my hair and lays his head on mine, he's quiet. I have my little cry then wipe my tears on my sleeve.

"What is it?" he asks finally.

I feel ashamed, I can't bear to look at him. "I can't marry you Jared." I whisper, all cowardly. "I want to be free, not left behind on land with a bunch of babies. I can't-"

Jared takes hold of my chin and turns it up to look at his face. I look at his face, tears still building in my eyes, and he's grinnin'. _Damn you_. I want to say, _stop smiling like a fool- I'm serious_. But I don't and he talks. Quiet and calm like, for my benefit.

"I wouldn't do that to you Puss." He says, holding my gaze. "I love you for who you are, Puss in Boots. The girl who climbs through the rigging and wears trousers like no ones business." I can't help but smile at that. " I'm not going to be the one to change you. I know you've got to be free, I do too, I wouldn't chain you to some house like many a husbands do. I don't think I'd want to marry you if I couldn't have the satisfaction of always have you close to me."

I frown now, tears spilling out of my eyes and down my cheeks. He wipes them away with his fingers but keeps facin' me with that smile of his. "Ney, I want you Puss but I'm not about to go about it the wrong way."

I sigh and sniff back my tears and he lets my face go. I drop my chin and look at the ground, when I feel him bend over. He leans his face into mine and gives me a peck, which I let him have, then he comes for another. This is when I can't take it anymore. _No, I love him_. I give him my lips and we kiss, unashamed, as strong as we've ever done right there in the street. When I pull away he looks down at me, silent, he knows my answer. It was all in that kiss, but I know he wants to be sure. He's an insolent rascal but he's a good man.

"Ok Puss?" He asks.

I nod. I can't do nothing more. He takes my hand and I'm thinkin' he's going to lead me into the church right then but he doesn't. He leads me away, down the street.

"Where are you going?" I ask. "I thought we were going to get married now?"

"Ney." he looks across at me and smiles. Clearly happy at the sound of it. "We're going to do this right, we're going to have it on the ship."

"What?" I grin and skip a step now. _Why what an idea! I love it. _He grins back at me and knows he's gained a few points for this. Points he's going to enjoy soon enough now.

"Aye. Now we're going to tell everyone." he says gently so as not to frighten me but no, _I'm not scared_. I'm excited.

"When?" I ask, skipping happily. "When can we?"

Jared leans over and kisses me full on, stoppin' me in my tracks and making all manner of townsfolk gasp. I smile against his lips and grab his collar diving deep into the kiss for the benefit of all the nosey ones gawking at us. _I love attention_. When we pull away Jared laughs. He likes me this way.

"It's ok!" he calls to these all around. "This girl's to be my bride!"

I giggle and grab his arm, pulling him along. The people smile and cluck at us - they're all nice people- but some still don't agree. I don't care. I notice a few girls staring enviously at us, making mooneyes at Jared. _Too late girls. _I smile and revel in my joy when Jared stops and grabs my arm, yanking me across the street to the nearest shaded ally. I smile, thinking he's got somethin' up his sleeve but he don't. He's not smilin', no he's frowning. I twist about and poke my head out the alley under his arm and look about anxiously.

"What is it Jared?" I ask.

"You've been found Puss." He says calmly, he points to the docks. We can only see half of the _Lorelei Lee _from where we stand here but there's clearly something amiss. The deck is crawling with soldiers. My blood chills and I quickly duck back into the alley and sink to the ground. _Damn, damn, damn_! Jared keeps his eyes on the ship but soon enough he turns to me and takes my hand, pulling me back to my feet.

"Come on Puss, we've got to get out of here."

"But the men." I frown. "My ship. I can't just- Higgins! What's going to happen to-"

"Calm down Puss. Nothing will happen to them. Not yet anyway. They want you not them." he says firmly.

"But what about the _Emerald_. You saw that. They sunk my ship. Then the _Lorelei Lee _later, they took her from me and-"

"No." Jared gives me a little shake. "They won't sink it. They might take it as a prize, it's not damaged, or they'll sell it to some merchant. But we'll get her back."

_Damn. Not again_! I cover my face. _My ship. My poor, beautiful ship. Why does this always have to happen to me?_ Jared puts his arm around me and peaks out of the alley. There's soldiers around the docks but not here, it's safe enough, he leads me out and we head back up the hill- further into town.

We walk for quite a ways, dodging in and out of streets until we find a small little Inn, of no consequence to anyone, and pay for a room. We don't give our real names just in case but Jared gives him some other name I don't remember. The man nods and shows us to the room. It's small with a bed and small table and two chairs. We've two windows and at once Jared goes to one. I sit at the table and lay my head in my hands. Worryin'.

"What now?" I ask, exhausted. _How'd they find me? Why? I've done nothing wrong!_

Jared turns and looks at me. He's got no smile on his face at all. He frowns and comes to the table, takes the other chair and sits.

"Now we try and find the rest of crew."

"Those on liberty will still be in the town." I say quickly, my eyes brightening. _Hope_!

"Aye. I'll find as many as I can. You stay here."

"No, I'm their Captain, I should-"

"No Puss." He says sternly. "You're still not well and I'm not about to loose you again. You stay here and don't leave this room. Don't let anyone in either, unless it's me."

I search his face then nod. There's no arguing with him. At least not about this. "If you're not back by dusk I'm coming for you." I say and he stands. "Regardless of what you say."

Jared frowns but he doesn't say anything. He heads for the door. I stand and follow him. He opens the door and steps out.

"Stay here Puss." He says again, sternly.

I nod. "Be careful."

He turns and is gone. I close the door and lock it then lean my back up against it. Now I wait.

The afternoon passes and Jared doesn't return, nor does he when dusk comes. I pace the floor, look out the window and pace and he doesn't come. I feel tears coming as it gets darker. _Please. Lord, please. Don't take him away_. I pace and light the candles in the room. There's only two candles and a lamp. I light them. I pace. I hear people in the hall coming in to spend the night and jump at each sound. _Where are you Jared_? I cross the floor again and look out the window. I can see men out in the streets looking for a good time, even this far up town, but I look over them only quickly. _It's not him_.

I pace more. I've no idea what to do. I told him I'd go out at dusk but I didn't expect him to be gone. I wait a few moments more then I snuff out the candle on the table and move for the other. Just as I do there's three short knocks at the door. Quickly I go to it and place my fingers on the latch but step away quickly. _What if they've found me? _I pause.

"It's me Puss."

Quickly I unlatch the door and pull it open and there he stands. He looks tired but he wears a smile. He steps inside and closes the door then locks it. He can barely get that done before I hit him.

"Where the hell have you been?" I growl. "I was going mad, being left behind here!"

Jared grabs my hand, the one I've poised to hit him again and holds it firm in his strong fist. He flashes an insolent smile then frowns.

"Now, now Puss. Retract the claws."

I growl and lunge at him with hooked fists and with all the strength I've got, resenting his words but he grabs me and turns me around to drop me on the bed. I twist and try to bend out of his grasp but he's got a firm hold on me.

He pins me down and then comes at me. He mashes his lips down against mine but I only bite him again. _I won't let you off easy, you bloody sod. I'm mad_. He pulls back and curses me but he comes again for me. This time not opening his mouth until he feels me relax. _He knows what he's doing, I'll give him that_. My anger soon fades and my worry washes back into my mind. I was just scared. A sob escapes my throat and I close my eyes tightly to stop the tears. And it's then that he finally opens his mouth, knowing it's safe now, and parts my lips with his tongue. I breath heavy but I give in. As soon as I do he pulls back and looks down at me. Hard but his smile isn't far beneath the surface.

I frown, tears still prickin' my eyes. "I was worried." I whimper.

Jared smiles and lets me go, moving off of me and sitting on the bed. He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees and looks over at me as I sit up. "I found a few men." He says and I pull my legs under me and watch him carefully.

"How many?"

"Ten. Some were close by when the ship was set upon so they were caught but a few had enough sense to dive for the shadows."

I nod. _Ten. Good_. That's a fair number, but considering I've forty men under my command it's not great.

"Where are they now?"

"They've all gotten rooms close by. I spread the word between them, we meet at the Palana Tavern at dawn. It's three streets over. A little closer to the docks but it's hidden well. We'll post a look out outside." he says, pulling off his boots._ Hmm. Good thinking_.

"And did you tell them about..." _Me. _I trail off but he shakes his head.

"I didn't think it best just yet. You can surprise them tomorrow." he said, flashing a quick grin. I confess, I like the idea of making a show of it but that doesn't make my worry about my men and ship go away.

"What do we do now?" I ask.

"Now we sleep." He replies simply. "There's nothing else to do."

I nod and slid off the bed. I stand and look down at him. "Should I call for food, drink? You must be hungry."

Jared shakes his head and moves his boots to the edge of the bed, so he can step right into them if necessary. "You sleep on the other side Puss." He says taking out a pistol from his belt and laying it on the rickety bedside table.

I sigh, watching him check the pistol and round the bed. I stop there, catching sight of him doff his shirt, out of the corner of my eye. I look down at myself and wonder. _Do I sleep in my dress? _It's a little uncomfortable, being so tight about my stomach and chest. I wince and twist my waist. _It'll have to do. _I've got nothing else and I'm not going to sleep in my under things with Jared. _That won't go well_. Besides I can't get in and out of this gown alone and I'm sure as hell not about to ask him for help.

I pull back the covers and tuck my skirts around me then slip in between the covers. Jared grins at me, cocking a eyebrow but I ignore him, laying with my back to him.

"Goodnight." I say. "Blow out that lamp would you?"

Jared leans over and blows at the lantern then settles back in bed. I feel stiff and odd laying there with my back to him but I don't move. I listen to his breathing for a few moments then pull my knees to my chest and slip my hands under my pillow.

"There not going to throw me into prison again are they Jared?" I whisper in the dark.

"No." he whispers back. "They won't get you Puss."

I hug myself and stare at the dark wall facing me. "Why'd they come? Australia was years ago, they've forgiven me for that... haven't they?"

"Aye." He replies, quietly. "We'll find out what's up from the lads tomorrow. Try and sleep Puss."

I close my eyes and try but it's long coming. It was such a good day when I woke. It was gonna be perfect. Everything was finally working out for me. I was safe, I had a ship and loyal crew, I had Jared and money enough to do what I wanted. I pull my legs in tighter to me and try to sleep but those faces are lurking in the dark, waiting for me. I open my eyes again and stare at the wall, shrouded in it's own shadows. I turn and glance at Jared in the dark, usually being close to him, close to anyone wards them off. I sigh and very carefully inch my way closer to him.

The moment I touch him he moves.

"Don't move." I whisper. "I just want to be close to you, I can feel the nightmares coming again."

Jared doesn't say anything, he doesn't need to, he was in the prison with me. He warded the nightmares off there and then after when I fell from the rigging. He knows what to do. He turns onto his side and sets me snuggle right in close then he puts his arm around me and puts his face in my hair. _Sleep Puss _he whispers into it and I close my eyes, trying to put those thoughts, those of my possible capture, out of my head. I suppose this is who I am, who we are. We run and we run. _Will it ever stop? _

_Probably not. _


	7. In Want Of Company

_**Chapter Seven:: In Want of Company**_

The morning comes and Jared and I leave the safety of our little room at the Inn for the safety of the empty little tavern. Jared was right, it's well hidden, but soon enough what's left of my crew comes creeping through the door, watchin' their backs. They're glad to see me as I am of them. I ask about each one and promise this will be resolved soon. Jared takes it upon himself to act as my guardian and posts a lookout outside, while he stands guard inside the door. I wonder how he's managed to get such control over this tavern when Jacoby comes up to me and says

"My cousin says if you need anything Captain, just to ask, he's got good connections in this city."

I smile and lay my hand on my helmsman's shoulder. "Thank you Jacoby. And thank your cousin for us. Tell him I will reward him for his secrecy of this day and other's should we need it."

"Don't mention it Captain." Jacoby replies with a kind grin. "He's got no love for the English Navy, and he's heard a lot about you, he's happy to help in any way he can but he won't accept payment."

I smile and nod. _Whether he wants it or not I will give him something_. I always reward my friends when I can. It's then, that I call my men to one of the tables in the centre of the room. They do it, sitting around the large table, all eyes on me.

"What can you tell me, men?" I ask, looking at each face. "What's the word on the street about the commotion at the docks?"

"I got word Captain from a landlord west of here, that they've found you on some charge of piracy."

"I heard dissertation." Another speaks up.

I frown. It's true I've no letter of Marque. I've no way to deny my actions nor have I any to explain them but my debt was forgiven, the price on my head lifted! _Why this now?_ Could they have found out my plans and that six hundred pounds of gold I slyly slipped out from under their noses. _No, that was repaid, I nearly lost my life because of that bloody money. _What about my refusal to sit pretty in Australia? _No. Certainly not... I hope not._ Whatever the charge, they'll have to catch me before cashing out. I think steadily for a minute on this and allow a smile to cross my lips.

"Whatever the charge lads, it's a trumped up one. We've got to settle this. You needn't feel obligated but I ask for volunteers."

Four or five men raise their hands, the other's don't but I can tell their all game. There's a glint in my eye as I look them all over. _It's time again for another trick by little Mary of Cheapside. _

vvvvvvv

Jared and I are the last to leave the tavern. My men have their instructions and we wait. Whether for good or bad, things will be over tonight. I walk quietly with Jared at my side back towards the Inn. There's little for us to do but to get what rest we need. When push comes to shove we'll need our strength. The men have scattered into the city to collect what we need and we've made plans to meet back at the same tavern shortly before dusk to put my plan together.

Jared stands tall as he walks with me. He hasn't said a word all morning and remains silent still. I know he's got a lot on his mind, as do I, but I don't try and talk to him. Not yet. I wait until we return to the Inn where its safer.

We're there shortly. Jared pauses at the dinning room downstairs and asks for some wine and a little food but I go up without him. I'm not afraid. I go into our little room, go to the window and look out. I wait for Jared. He comes in a minute later, bottle in hand and two wine glasses.

"The girl will bring up the food in a few minutes." He says as he closes and locks the door.

I nod. I watch him set the glasses on the table and uncork the bottle. He fills both glasses generously but takes his glass to the bed. He leaves mine on the table. I bite my lip. He isn't happy. I cut my eyes to him and watch him throw himself on the bed, lean back against the headboard and cross his legs. _Oh Jared. If you only knew_. I think to myself, watching him. _If you only knew all that I've gone through, you'd understand_.

I sit at the window, not saying a word and wait for the girl to come with the food. She does in a minute and is a slight thing with auburn hair and a pretty face. Jared, who unlocked the door and opened it for her, waits as she lays the tray on the table. She sees me at the window and curtseys simply then heads for the door. Jared gives her a coin and she blushes casting her eyes at the floor. He doesn't appear to notice but I do. _All the girls love you. Why don't you see?_

He thanks her and she mumbles a reply and leaves. He closes the door and locks it again but goes back to the bed.

I look at the food. There's bread and cheese and cold meat but I don't touch it. I only cast my eyes to Jared again, who's staring blankly at his feet. I heave a sigh and stand. I walk past the table and all that it offers and I go to him. I sit on the edge of the bed and look at him. He meets my eyes but doesn't say a word. He looks lost in thought but he doesn't pout. He's not the type.

"Jared. I've got to tell you something." I say. I take a breath. "There's some things you don't know about me."

"I know about you Puss." he replies. And he does, but he doesn't know it all.

"You know a lot. You've been in and out of my life a lot but those times when you weren't around..." I trail off, those times flashing through my mind. The pirating, the espionage in Paris, the bloody wars, the treasure hunting in Havana. I shake myself and look into his eyes, tears starting to build. The next bit I say in one breath, I have to. "I took six hundred pounds of gold from the King and whether this business is about that our my disappearance from Australia I thought you should know."

Jared's jaw slackens and within a moment he's flashed me a grin but it soon dissolves when he realizes what this means. It's nothing to smile about. I've taken more money than anyone could imagine, and I've lied about it, _and _I've slipped out of a life sentence. I can see it in his eyes- _How_? He asks me silently. _How did you ever manage that?_

"Puss." He breathes, finding his voice. "The money-"

"I know!" I moan and covering my face with my hands only to pull them away right quick. "It's compensation for all they've done. I was careful with it. My lawyer put it safely into several assets, holdings and trusts. It _was _safe. Now I'm thinkin' that his Majesty's found his pockets a little light and has realized my sham, even after he threw me in jail for it, shipped me off to Australia."

Jared shakes his head at me. "Why do you insist on gettin' yourself into these spots Puss?"

I shrug. "I can't help it. It was there for the taking. All laying on the bottom of the ocean, ripe for the pickin'. Gold bricks and gems. They had _no idea_." My eyes light up at the memory of it and Jared smiles at me.

"You thought _six hundred pounds _was compensation for your _Emerald _being sunk?" He asks, looping back to that.

I shake my head, being fair. "Not all of it, no. But all those times they chased and caught me. Threw me into prison, threw me into school and made me believe they were going to chop off my head. They sent me to the battle of Jena Auerstadt Jared." I frown and so does he. Tears come to my eyes now and I don't try and hold them back. "It was horrible. Friends died on that battle field and those that didn't I watched go mad from the ghosts of the battle."

I think back of Randall. Dear perfect Randall. Standing in a field drunk with spirits and fear, shooting at shadows. I close my eyes and cover my face. Remembering the sight... the feeling of Captain Bardot dying in my arms. And in a moment Jared has me in his. I cling to him, hiding my face against his chest but the memories keep flooding back. I fight to keep them at bay but it takes time, the Dark Cloud is always one to linger. All the while Jared holds me tight and waits.

Some time later. When my tears have stopped and I have told Jared all that's happened, and why I must finish this, we sit at the small table in our room and pick at the tray of food.

"What I don't understand though is how they found you here of all places. No one knew you were headed here. When I left London they all assumed you were rasing babes in Australia thanks to some lucky sod." He says, slipping a piece of meat into his mouth and leaning forward. "I made sure of that after I lost you in that typhoon."

I smirk and pat his knee consolingly at that comment, choosing to ignore the last bit about me leaving, but he doesn't notice, he just groans at it and continues.

"Who's the traitor?"

I shake my head and sip my wine. "There's no traitor. There's just one lucky Captain who found the girl."

Jared sits back. Watching me. "What do you think they want?"

"Short of me at the end of a rope... I don't know." I reply honestly. _I don't wanna to hang._

"You think they're after the money?"

"Maybe." I shrug. Honestly I have no idea. _I hope not by why else would they come for me like this?_ _To have satisfaction of taking me back to Botany Bay?_

"Have you got it if they want it back?" Jared asks, refilling his glass.

"Most of it."I reply. "Or this plan would never work at all."

"Think they'll go for it?" He asks, standing and going to the window, glass in hand.

_I hope so. _I say to myself. Just then there's a knock at the door. I turn towards it but it's Jared who goes to it, pistol laying on the table next to him primmed and ready. He opens the door a crack and looks out but turns to me.

"It's fine."

I breath a sigh of relief and stand. It's the serving girl again. She blushes at the sight of Jared and holds out a box to him, wrapped in brown paper.

"This was sent from Senor Montego sir."

_Jacoby's cousin_? I go to Jared's side as he takes the box and nods in thanks. The girl disappears down the hall and Jared closes the door, locking it again. Jared and I exchange glances as he carries the box to the bed and sets it down. I shrug and he tears the paper off then pulls the lid off the box. A note is inside. He picks it up to read when I catch sight of what's inside and grin, my hands reaching for it while Jared's steps back to read

_Signorina Faber. Jacoby has told me many tales of his daring Captain and I hope you will accept this humble gift, be it for the gratitude I have for you're caring for my cousin, or for your present venture of risk. I pray it is acceptable._

_Anton Montego_.

Jared smiles, shaking his head a little as he turns to me, clasping the contents of the box to my chest happily.

It is trousers, boots, a white shirt, a green vest, thick leather belt and navy bandanna. I've looked through them with excitement as Jared read the note aloud and found that they will fit me. _Oh dear Anton. What a wonderful man! _I look at Jared now with pure joy. He leans over and pokes about at the box and grins.

"Well Puss." He grins. "Back in the saddle again."

I jump to my feet and hop up and down a few times before I pull my little slippers off and toss them off randomly. "Help me Jared." I exclaim, holding the trousers and shirt at arms length, too excited to care about anything else. "I want to wear it now."

Jared grins. "Gladly."

I stop and look at him severely. "And don't look." I say, serious. "Just help me unfasten the dress then turn around."

Jared hangs his head and smiles at me, he's not about to give up, I can see that right off. "Come now Puss, I'm going to see it all soon enough."

"Jared." I poke my finger into his chest but he only grins and blows on his hands to warm them. "No." I repeat.

"Come now, would you really deny your betrothed a sneak preview? Think of it as a way to wet my appetite." He puts on his best pout but I don't take him for it.

"You don't need any _more _appetite." I laugh. He does too but I know I'm going to have to fight him for this. He twirls his finger, motioning me to turn and I do. As much as I don't trust him, I don't want to wear this dress another minute, I far better prefer pants.

"I'm just fortunate that way." Jared says, no doubt grinning, as he begins to unfasten the stays down the back of my gown. "What's the big deal about being married anyway Puss? You're not shy."

"No." I reply, gathering up my hair and holding it out of his way. "You know that but I... I still want to be as good a girl as I can be. I've always tried to be good, despite all my faults."

Jared doesn't say anything but he works adeptly to unfasten my dress. He's experienced at it alright. I smile as he pulls at the lacing, he's firm but his fingers know their way around everything back there.

"You've never called any man to your bed?" He asks in an amusing sort of way. I shake my head, not in answer but in shame. I look over my shoulder at him. Sadly I feel.

"I have my faults Jared. I have a weakness for handsome males but I've never given more than my heart to anyone. I promise." _Though it came close a few times_. I finish in my head. He doesn't need to know.

Jared finishes with my dress and pauses before turning. He pushes what's left of my hair off my shoulder and his fingers pause there. Suddenly I bit my lip. _Oh Lord. The tattoo_. No one has seen it but Jaimy and Higgins. Jared whistles real low and takes hold of my shoulders.

"What's this?" He asks

"Nothing." I twist and try to turn away but he holds me still.

"Seriously Puss, you've got a bloody dragon tattoo on your neck." He grins, I can hear it in his voice. "That from your Chinese friends?"

I bite my lip and say nothing. Somehow I don't think that being either the mark of protection or property of Cheng Shih will go over well with Jared. I have a funny feeling he'll think the same as Arthur and Jaimy and imagine something quite different than what actually happened.

Whatever he chooses to decide he smirks. "You'll have to tell me about that one day."

"Maybe." I reply.

Jared shakes his head and then tilts it and places a kiss at the base of my ear then takes a lock of my hair and twists it around his finger. I don't say anything at all. I just wait. My eyes closed and my body waiting to feel his touch. It's never been like this before.

"But back to what we were talking about, I don't care Puss, what happened before now..." he says breaking the silence that felt like a hundred years. "I just want you, scars... _tattoos... _and all. I don't care if anyone's seen you or had you before._ I_ just want to be the last."

That's when I turn and face him. I look up into his eyes and I hold his gaze for a long time. No thoughts come into my mind, no names of the men I've known before, none I've loved before. No, I don't think about anything but how he's lookin' at me right now.I only tip my chin up and give him a little smile.

"Then kiss me Jared and know you will. Know that as soon as this is all over you, alone, can have all of me." I tell him and he does. Then I dress and he doesn't watch me.

He doesn't turn away but he doesn't watch me either. I finish quickly and I'm happy, strapped into my rig again. I tie the bandanna around my loose hair and I slip the belt over my shoulder, across my chest. Though I'm missing my sword and pistols I stand at Parade rest and raise my chin. Jared turns to me then and grins. I know he's glad to see me so happy again and I smile and cross the room to him and crawl onto his lap. I toss my hair and smile as he puts his arms around me.

"You sure you want to marry such a girl?"

Jared looks me over and grins, brining his face in for a kiss. "Without a doubt."

I smile against his lips then dive into them without shame. _Oh I love the taste of rogue company._


	8. A Shot In The Dark

_**Chapter Eight:: A Shot in the Dark**_

Dusk is upon us quick. We all collect together once more and I give the men their orders then look upon them fondly. _If this is to be the last time I see your faces lads, take care of yourself and know I've never served with a better crew_. It's sentimental, I know but it's true enough. I've served with a lot of good crews, a lot of good men, but each are dear to me. The men pass by me at the door and mumble words of encouragement or just to be safe, goodbyes. I smile and bear it well, _I think_, then head out myself with Jared but only after thanking Anton for his kindness. He smiles at me and shrugs it off.

"Go get those English Captain Faber." he says strongly.

I smile, give him a flourished bow and disappear out the door. _Go get those English_. _Ha. _We do.

- l - l - l -

They don't expect us at all. No. We watch them from the shadows around the docks. Two Marines only posted on my _Lorelei Lee_, my crew no doubt below in the brig. _Fine with us. _From where I'm hidin' I plan my way to the gangplank. It's clear enough indeed. I wait then I motion to young George Thomas to come to me. He's in the alley across the way with Samuel, Drayer and Paul but he dashes across and crouches by me._ As sleek as a cat this lad is. _

"As soon as those marines step foot off the _Lee_, I need you up the gangplank. You'll have to duck behind those crates stacked on the dock but it should be safe enough. You must be quick about it George." I say. Serious. My ship and men are at stake here.

"Aye Captain." he nods. He's a good lad.

"There's to be no stopping for anything." I tell him. "Once you get there, as quiet as you can get below and release the crew. Have them wait below decks until you find out how things lie. If there's anyone below throw them into the brig, then when it's safe cast them off, don't hurt anyone unless necessary." Again he nods. He'll follow my orders. "If we don't meet you back at the ship in thirty minutes take the ship and cast off, take her out of the harbour and wait if you can. Then, tell John Leroy if we don't make to you in time to take her around to the islands. We'll catch up with you there in a days time. If we don't come, don't wait for us." I put my hand on George's shoulder and give it a squeeze. "Don't fail me now."

He looks all proud. I've put a lot of responsibility on this young sailor's shoulders.

"I won't fail you Captain." he says. I nod and get goes back to the men across the way.

I take a deep breath and wait for them to head out. I'm shaking and terrified down to my very poor mortal soul but I sit still. I feel Jared come up behind me and I try to stay calm. I go over the plan again in my head and sigh. _My soul can't take much more of this_. Jared put's his hand on my shoulder and I look at him, his face darkening slightly as the men casually make their way across the street and away. He's serious now, no smile, but he looks at me kindly.

"It'll be over soon enough Puss."

"Aye, whether they hang me, lock me up or let me go..." I reply. "... it _won't _be long."

"They wont. Not while I'm here." He says.

I look at him and sigh. I slip my hand up and put it overtop his on my shoulder. I didn't want Jared to come with me. I wanted to do this alone. It would have been safer but he won't have it any other way. I'm thankful in a way that he's here with me as I watch the men cross the street, now sneakily heading towards the ship, but I can't help but feel an anxious gnawing at my gut should anything happen. Without a doubt he'd do something stupid. I squeeze his hand then let it go. My eyes locked on my ship. I wait until I see the men step foot on the docks then I stand, Jared does too, but I don't head out. Not yet. I turn to him and look up at his face cast in shadow.

"Jared, if something should happen I want you to go. No. Let me speak." I stop him right off, as soon as he opens his mouth. _I'm serious now_ _too_. It's time for me to say my goodbyes here, where I can without shaming myself. It's my way. "If they take me, I want you to go. Find the _Lorelei Lee _and go, if they'll let you have her she's yours. Take her to Boston and find a man named Ezra Pickering, he's my lawyer there, and tell him what's happened. He'll take care of everything."

My head's amazingly clear to be planning my own death so calmly but I am scared. Deep down I am. I keep my eyes on Jared. He doesn't say a word

"Free Higgins if you can, but if not see that he's paid. Have Ezra arrange it." I continue then, here's where I feel misty eyed. "And know that I would have loved to have married you."

Jared exhales a deep breath, leaving a shallow smile on his lips, but I can tell he ain't smiling inside. I pull my eyes from his here and turn away to walk a little circle in the alley. I look at the ground then off at my ship as I continue. "And do me a favour Jared... go back to Ireland and tell Liam the news yourself, don't have Ezra write him. Tell him what happened and how much I loved you. Tell him he was right. Then ... then go and find yourself a good girl to love. One who can fit well into a pair of trousers and can -"

He stops me then, grabbing me and whirling me around to meet my lips with his. Diving into this last kiss, body and soul. I take hold of his face in my hands and kiss him back the best I can, trying my best to make this a kiss to end all kisses, all the while my tears break free and stream down my poor face. _I don't wanna say goodbye Jared. I never wanted to say goodbye. _He pushes me up against the wall, kissing me hard, all the while the tears keep comin'. I wrap my legs around his middle and sit there, perched on his hips, with my back against the wall. Neither he or I want to stop this but we both know we can't stay like this forever and our starving lips slowly loose their intensity. But not before he looks down at me, his eyes misted over with a quiet kind of sadness and wipes the tears from my face.

"There's never going to be another one like you Puss." he says in a far away voice. I take a jagged breath, still breathless from our kiss and smile sadly. I know it's time. I unwrap my legs from around him and slid to the ground. Feeling much smaller standing before him, I put my hand on his cheek and savour the moment, then pull my hand away and turn to the street. It's time.

- l - l - l -

I do it with the most clam and grace I've got. I slap the Look on my face and walk down the dock, past my lads ducked behind the crates, up to the gangplank of the _Lorelei Lee _with Jared hot on my heels. I stand at the end of the gangplank and look up but the Marines don't come. I look at Jared and shrug.

"Let's take her now." he suggests but I shake my head.

"They'll just come for me again." I say, though I'd go it in a minute. No, I turn back to the gangplank and give a sharp whistle. So sharp that, somewhere off in the town I hear a dog bark but it does the trick and in a second both Marines stand at the top of the gangplank lookin' fine in their crisp uniforms and young faces.

"Here now, what's the meaning of this? Move on ruffians." Says one, bravely.

I only smile. I think of my own dear Marines of the past and feel my fear melt away right quick, either because of the fond memories or the moment of action. _I'm thinkin' Marines, I've always been a coward_. I sweep my hand out and give a elegant bow- _I've always liked showing off_- and then stand and gives the boys a smart salute.

"I am Captain Faber, and this is my ship, I've word your Captain wishes to speak with me."

The Marines exchange looks of surprise but it don't take them long at all. They come down the gangplank, their muskets trained on us and have us hand over our weapons. I do. I knew this was coming, but Jared's a little less obliging. The Marines are fresh faced, years younger than Jared and clearly soft still, Jared has his fun with them, what little he can in this situation and hands his pistol over. I meet his eyes and roll mine. I like to show off and so does he in his way I suppose. _What a pair we are_. He grins and the young Marines clamp our wrists in irons. _No disrespect meant, just protocol_. They tell us but we don't fuss, we let them do their jobs. Then they take us away. They lead us down the street to another dock, I don't dare a look behind us to the men but I know their doing there job. _Too bad for these lads though, what ever will you superiors say about this_? I have to smile, their stupidity is our gain.

- l - l - l -

We round the first ship berthed and the ship that is to hold my fate comes into view. My eyes rove over it, it's a beautiful ship, a Man of War this one. _Movin' on eh Jacky_? I keep up to the Marine ahead of me and keep looking about the ship. It's in prime condition, looks hot off the yard actually. My eyes cut to the name carved on the side of her stern, small but ornate there's bigger name flat on her stern. _What's she now_? The _HMS_- immediately my body goes numb, I can feel the colour drain from my face as my knees turn to jelly. I gasp for breath and Jared looks across at me with concern. It's the _HMS Royal Arms_. I can barely take my eyes off her.

"What is it?" he asks, his voice low.

I can hardly breath but somehow I get it out. "_Jaimy's _on this ship."

Jared's eyes slide to the ship in question and he stands a little straighter but I don't pay any attention. _I want to run _is all I'm thinkin'. I_ don't wanna be here. I don't want to see him. I_- But I've no say, the Marines push me forward and I stumble but I quickly gain my footing. My knees are shaking but I manage to, somehow, put the Look on my face before we reach the gangplank and hold it there. _You've done well for yourself girl. Get your head up and show him you've done good for yourself. You don't need him anymore_. I listen to the voice in my head and do it. _I don't need you James Fletcher. _

It's that thought that sees us onto the deck. I look about as one of the Marines steps aside to talk quickly to the Officer who's just appeared from the quarterdeck, I take this time, as does Jared, to look around us and admire the ship.

"Look at the cut of the sails." I say to Jared, trying to stay calm. He nods.

"She's a fine lady but nothing to your sheets." he says with a grin, he's talking about sails but I catch the hidden meaning and smile.

_Jaimy's got nothing on you_. I think proudly, catching his eye only for a moment before I pull them away, to look back at the officer coming for us now. The Officer stops before us, he's a stiff unpleasant sort of man, he looks down his nose at me and frowns.

"You, I am told, am one J.M Faber, are you not?"

I want to emphasize the plainly clear and missing _Captain _from that question but I decide against it. "Yes sir, I am."

"And you are?" he turns to Jared.

"Joseph Jared. And you?"

_Bold Jared_. I cut my eyes to him.

The Officer fumes indeed but I suppose he feels obligated to answer. "I am Lieutenant Redcliff."

"I have received word that your Captain wishes to speak with me Lieutenant." I say, brining his eyes quickly back to me. The Look still in place I look down at him as I say this... in my way at least for he's a good foot taller than I am. He is clearly shaken by such a small female addressing him so. _You're in for a real surprise Lieutenant Redcliff, just you wait. _

"You are well informed Miss." he says, bringing himself back to the situation.

I nod in thanks for the obvious. Part of me wants to inform him of my rank also of Lieutenancy if not Captain but I don't. As far as the Royal Navy is concerned I've been stripped of any rank I've managed to acquire. _Too bad. I would have gone far if they let me go anywhere with it. _

Redcliff then turns his eyes to the Marine's next to Jared and I. "Those will not be necessary."

The Marines take hold of our irons and remove them. I rub my wrists. I don't like the feeling of irons around my poor wrists. But it's not as bad as a noose about your neck. Faced with both, I'll gladly take the irons any day.

"The Captain will be pleased for this unexpected pleasure." He says then turns. "If you would be so kind so as to wait here?"

He says this with civility but little of it. I can tell he's not enjoying this moment. I nod, rasing my chin.

"I will wait two minutes. Then we will leave." I say.

The Lieutenant looks at me and laughs, low and short but a laugh all the same. I narrow my eyes a little, taking note of this one. I'm not impressed but I don't say anything.

"You will leave? Indeed? I am astonished." he says, the proper nob. "And how is it you will manage such a ludicrous action? You are in fact surrounded."

I clench my jaw. _I'm not impressed_. I open my mouth to shut him up real good when I hear a voice behind me that chills my blood.

"I would advise you to listen to the woman Lieutenant Redcliff, she is good for her word." he says, I don't see him but I know it's him. I don't move. "One moment she will stand before you, calm and quiet with the countenance and decorum of any lady you may find in the royal courts and the next she will be hanging from the rigging, shouting insults that would make even you blush before disappearing like a phantom, never to be seen again."

I cut my eyes to Lieutenant Redcliff, he's still looking off behind us but it's this moment that he brings his eyes back to me. Wary now. I look up at him like I've got a secret and he frowns.

"Lieutenant Fletcher. Can I trust you to watch these vagabonds?" He asks.

I swallow hard and Jaimy replies cooly as he comes into view, I drop my eyes to the deck. I can't look at him yet. "I will watch these sailors. Yes Lieutenant."

Redcliff _harrumphes_ and leaves. I wait for his footfall to fade. _I wait _for Jaimy to speak but there is only silence until...

"Jared. It's good to see you again, though I am a little surprised." Jaimy says finally.

"Aye. As am I Fletcher." Jared's voice is bold, and even bolder not to use Jaimy's title but I can hear the underlying malice in his voice. I don't move. This is a tense moment for each of us, but it will be tenser yet.

"Jacky?" Jaimy's voice is gentle. I take a breath and raise my head, I look straight into his eyes. _No fear_. I give him a smile. _No fear_. I repeat.

"Hello Jaimy." I beam as confidently as I can.

He clearly looks surprised and I, deep down, rejoice over that fact.

"You are in good health I hope Lieutenant?" I ask, throwing on all the charm I can. "You are enjoying your new post? She's a fine ship."

"I am and yes." He says, a little shaky. "And you?"

"I am very well." I reply and look sideways at Jared, I catch a flicker of amusement flash across his face, replacing the displeasure there before it. "Though a little put out by the current state of my ship."

"Ah yes." It's here a very wary James Fletcher comes back to his calm, clearheaded nature. "I am sorry about that, truly."

"Why is my ship being detained? Is there anything I should know?" I ask, my voice curt and to the point. _Why the hell are you doing this to me again Jaimy? Why?_ I want to yell but I don't.

"Nothing to worry about I'm sure." he says and twists his neck uncomfortably. "The Captain will discuss matters with you."

"I'm not gettin' taken again Jaimy." I say all serious. I frown at him darkly. "I'm not going to be pushed around anymore."

Jaimy meets my eyes and frowns along with me. "I know Jacky. It'll be all right. Just do what they say."

"No." I retort, my voice quiet so I won't get nasty looks. I don't care about that but I could be detained for gettin' worked up and I don't want that. Jaimy's face tenses but I don't care.

"Jacky." he warns but I shake it off.

"_No_. I don't want them comin' for me _anymore_."

"Then why-"

"Lieutenant Fletcher."

We all turn to see Lieutenant Redcliff standing by the cabin door. I know it's time. We all do. Without a word, Jaimy ushers us forward and we go. We go quietly. _We'll see what this is all about_.

- l - l - l -

Inside the cabin, the Captain, one Josiah Eaton, sits at his desk waiting for us. I know it's a long shot and I'm steamed already from what's happening. _First my ship is set upon unannounced and my crew is taken captive, then I have to run into Jaimy of all people and he ends up scolding me and now I've got to listen to some old Captain harp on protocol and all I've done wrong. _I'm steamed but I drop to a low curtsy before his desk and look as innocent as I possibly can. The Captain, though lookin' pretty stern when we enter, now gives me a smile.

"This cannot be our thief, surely. This girl cannot be more than eighteen." He says, clearly not put off by my appearance in the least. I'm surprised.

"I can assure you Captain. This is... Captain Faber. The one we've been looking for." Jaimy says. _The bloody traitor_. I hold myself still and don't give him the pleasure of a glare I've got working up inside me.

"This girl? A Captain?" The Captain asks incredulously.

"Indeed M'Lord." I purr. "I am the Captain on the _Lorelei Lee_, the ship you've in your custody at present." _Or which you believe to have in your custody._

"And you?" The Captain asks, looking at Jared curiously. The man is actually quite pleasant. "I would have expected you a Captain. You look more the sort."

Jared raises his chin slightly, but doesn't comment on that. I can see him out of the corner of my eye, standing proud and tall next to me. He's no fear at all. I envy him.

"Joseph Jared." He says, firmly but with respect. He knows how it works. " First Mate aboard the _Lorelei Lee_... Sir."

I raise my chin a little. We'd worked it out this way but I still can't get over the sound of that. Joseph Jared, First Mate. I quite like the sound of that. Although to me he'll always be Master of the Top, as he was when I first met him. I dearly want to smile.

The Captain nods. _Captain and First Mate- pretty good day indeed_.

"I believe I am obliged to ask, you were neither on board when your ship was taken...that in my opinion is quite out of the ordinary."

"Yes, we were taking care of some... _business _in the town." I say with the faintest of smiles. I see Jaimy stiffen and I feel a growl in my heart. _How does it feel Jaimy_? "Sadly I was obliged to leave my ship in an Officer's care. One now I regret." _I don't one bit but I've got to play it this way. _

The Captain nods again. He hasn't caught my meaning and it's all the sweeter, especially with the frown Jaimy's wearing now. _What's wrong Jaimy? You've got a lovely bride, what am I to you anymore?_

"I wonder at this my girl..." The Captain begins, neither can he address me it seems. "...that there seems to be some tension between yourself and the Crown, for I have been sent to collect you. Have you any thought as to why that is now?" He's talkin' simple for the sole fact that I'm a girl, I can see that now. I can also see that his smile is fading. I take a breath. _Does he really want me to answer? _I wait. He folds his fingers together on his desk and looks at me, all dour.

"Have you _any _thought?" he asks again.

My mind races. _Should I mention the gold or no? Do I mention Australia? Should I shake my head, act innocent, cry? What? Do I just let him say it? Oh Lord. _

"I must beg your forgiveness M'Lord." I begin. "I seem to be ignorant of all news of this interest our Majesty the King would have in such an insignificant person as myself." I say quickly, the words fumbling out like pebbles through my fingers.

The Captain shakes his head. Disappointed. He stands and turns, glancing out the window he has behind the desk. I cannot see his face but his voice is stern.

"You have _no _idea?" He says, almost amused.

I frown. I want awfully to twitch or wince _or something _but I don't dare to. I only wait for the Captain to speak. I wait for him to order the Marines back in, clamp me in irons and throw me into the brig. I wait for an order to convict me of thievery from the King himself, one of dissertation, one of piracy and haul me out to the nearest tree and trow a rope around my neck. I wait for the order.

... one that doesn't come.

* * *

><p>: Sorry again for the delay in updating. I'll try and do better. Thanks for reading!<p> 


	9. The Order

:Ha! How's that! Please review and tell me what you think. Thank you everyone.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter Nine:: The Order<strong>_

I stand transfixed before Captain Eaton's desk, of the _HMS Royal Arms_. I think everyone else in the room does as well, even his Lieutenants. My mind is racing, jumpin' from one question I want to ask at the moment to the next. I can't believe this. _This is ridiculous_!

"I beg your pardon Sir... but... WHAT?"

The Captain gives a little chuckle, one that rumbles from low within his chest but it is soon gone, and pulls out his chair again. He sits and looks at me and shakes his head. Then he motions to a chair not far off my right. One that I had not seen previous. I move to it weakly and set myself down. I'm shaken. I'm not going to hide it. I thought I was goin' to die today. But I'm not. _No. I'm not. _

"I have received word from His Majesty that he wishes to have an audience with one Jacky Faber. The same girl who joined his Navy as a Ship's Boy and later served him there as a Midshipman and incredibly... Lieutenant also. One _girl _they claim to be the same as the French have dubbed _La Belle Jeune Fille Sans Merci _and who has fought Napoleons own army at the battle of Jena Auerstadt, one who has recovered treasure from the bottom of the ocean and ferried a crew of convicts to Australia's shores." The Captain smiles here. "It seems you are quite the young woman."

My head is spinning. _The King_! "Thank you Sir." I say, breathlessly.

"His Majesty has commanded me to escort you back to England immediately."

I shake my head here. "I thank you Captain, but I would much rather take my own ship, if you would allow it."

The Captain frowns. "I do not think..."

"Oh I would be most grateful." I reply, laying on the charm nice and thick. "I will accompany you to England, I swear it but I will require I travel on my own ship, with my own crew. My crew are rather... protective."

The Captain ponders the thought. "Very well. I will allow it _only _if you travel to London with myself, as his Majesty expects it."

"I agree." I reply with a nod. I don't see any harm in it. "As long as I am allowed a certain party to accompany me."

The Captain looks at Jared, a little wary.

"I can assure you, they all will be of the uppermost character. They will cause no harm, no mischief."

The Captain nods. "Very well."

"Then shall we set a date to meet?" I ask, gently. Inside I'm screamin' and leapin' but for now I stay calm. _I try at least_.

"Three weeks time, Brighton harbor. I will send word on ahead to his Majesty and inform him of your agreement. If you should not arrive as agreed upon Miss Faber..." he says sternly. "... be sure you will have many a men out for you. His Majesty will be very disappointed, should you not arrive when scheduled."

I nod. "I swear to you. I will be there... three weeks from now, laying in Brighton harbour, waiting for further instructions."

The Captain nods and stands. "Very well then... _Captain_. I wish you fair winds and a safe voyage. Until we meet again."

It's there he bows, only slightly from the waist but it's such that I want to hug him. I manage to catch myself just in time though. I only drop to my lowest, most grateful without-a-skirt curtsies and then stand. The Captain waves me off and I'm in such pure joy that I want to sing aloud. I catch Jared's eye and he grins. He knows what's goin' on in my head. And from what I can tell in my state, I know what he's thinkin' too.

- l - l - l -

We walk to the edge of the gangplank with the Marine's next to us as an escort when we remember our scheme. Jared and I look at each other. _What now? Pray they've not left yet? _I shrug and we head down the gangplank after the Marine's give us back our effects. _It feels good_. _Walkin' off that ship with our mortal souls intact_. My heart sores as we walk away down the dock and round the first ship that's docked there and out of view. We walk a few more feet just to be safe but I can't hold it in any longer. I stop and turn to Jared. He grins and I throw my arms in the air

"The King!" I screech with pure excitement.

I throw my arms around his neck and he picks me up and twirls me around, laughin' at me. I don't care. _Laugh Jared. Laugh all you want. The King wants to meet your girl! The King! _I giggle and kiss Jared. I'm so happy. He puts his hand on the back of my neck and kisses me back. _I'm so happy_! I wrap my legs around his waist and just sit there. I don't care if anyone is lookin'. I don't care if they shake their heads and turn away in shame. I don't care if they don't like it. I kiss Jared with pleasure, with gratitude and just plain excitement and then pull back and beam at him. _I don't care about anything_! He smiles and I unwrap my legs from around him and he sets me down on the ground but not before a blue coat catches my eye. I turn and there's Jaimy. Standin' at the end of the docks staring right at us.

Jared's still facing me but his eyes are on Jaimy. I lay my hand on Jared's arm and turn my face away from Jaimy for a minute. We're still standin' close. I know Jaimy ain't stupid. He saw us kiss. He knows what's goin' on.

"Jared. Go and see if the _Lorelei Lee _is still docked, she should be. If she is go there and wait for me. If she is not, come back for me here." I say, quietly.

Jared doesn't move.

"Jared." I raise my eyes to his, and tug at his sleeve until he looks at me. "Please. I'll be alright."

Jared takes a breath then he leans over me, bringin' his lips to mine. Its brash, him doing this but I'm his now. I've promised and I love him. I kiss Jared. I don't care, I'm going to talk to Jaimy anyway. Jared pulls back and gives Jaimy a nod.

"Fletcher." he says then he turns and goes like I asked. Jaimy doesn't say a word. He just stares at me. I wait until Jared moves away from us then I take a few steps towards Jaimy. I meet his eyes and hold his gaze. _I'm not afraid of you_.

"Can I help you?" I ask. It sounds fine in my head but off my lips it sounds hard. I frown. _Sorry_.

"I wanted to talk to you." he says, stepping forward. His eyes drop.

"Yes?" I ask. I stand still.

"I wanted to know how you were." he says, those eyes meeting mine.

I can't help but smile. This is Jaimy after all. We're still friends, still brothers'... _well brother and sister_, we both have the tattoo. _Maybe we should have stayed friends... back then_. I give a little sigh and turn, take a slow step and in a moment he's next to me, walking along. It's better we walk for this.

"I'm ok." I confess. "Better now."

Jaimy's quiet.

"You've done well for yourself." I say. I can't help it. I'm tired at being angry with him. I really am.

"As have you." he replies slowly. "You look happy."

"I am." I whisper.

"I'm glad."

I look across at him and he smiles at me. "Really I am Jacky. You deserve it."

I smile sadly. "And you?"

"I am happy." he replies. "I... I am actually..."

"I know." I answer. _I know. I saw. _

"I'm sorry." he says. His voice sounds it too.

"I know." I say again. "It's better this way."

"Is it?" he asks. I stop and we look at each other. It feels like old times. I feel tears pricking my eyes. _It's so different Jaimy. Why did this have to happen? We were so happy back then. What happened to us? _

"Yes." I reply. It's true. _It is better this way_. "You and I are in the past. We were just kids then." I say though it hurts.

"Yes. I suppose you are right." he says, hanging his head a little.

I take a breath. "I'm going to marry him Jaimy."

Jaimy looks up at my face. His face darkens a little but he nods and looks off blankly into the distance. He doesn't say anything.

"He loves me." I continue. _I've got to get this out_. "And I love him. We're good together, he and I. I'll be... we'll be married before we reach England."

Jaimy takes a breath then looks at me. He gives me a weak smile. "Congratulations then. I wish you both the best. You deserve it."

I smile, looking off, thinking of Jared. _We do._ We've been through a lot.

"Thank you." I whisper. "Then we're alright?"

Jaimy gives me a gentle smile and nods. "We'll always be alright Jacky."

I smile at him and look over to the docks. My smile gets brighter as I see the _Lorelei Lee _still moored in the spot I left her. I can see Jared on deck talking with Leroy. _Oh Leroy it's good to see you man_. I turn back to Jaimy, he's lookin' at the ship too. He turns to me and smiles again.

"She's a fine ship Jacky." he says kindly, looking almost glad to see her again.

"That she is." I reply. _You grand 'ol girl. _

"You know I'm sorry for everything." He says suddenly. "For leaving you behind, for not coming when I should have. ...for not trusting you. And ..._and _for your ship."

I turn away from him, the pain of that day, the _Emerald _sinking, coming rushing back to me. _You sunk my ship. _You _shot that cannon Jaimy, that tore through her hull. ..._each _cannon that ripped out her belly. You did it._

"I know." I tell him. I turn and look at him then. "I forgive you. And I'm sorry too."

Jaimy takes a breath then smiles again, almost sadly. "Well, I'll leave you now. I know you must be eager to cast off."

_I am. _I meet his eyes and nod. "Thank you Jaimy."

Jaimy nods but says nothing of it. "Safe voyage Jacky."

"You too."

I want to give him a kiss, just a friendly one on the cheek but I don't. I can't bring myself to. Jaimy don't mind though, he knows things are different now. He just smiles one last time and turns and walks away. I watch him go for a bit but then I turn back to my ship. I smile. The _Lorelei Lee_, safe and free. Just like me. I catch sight of Jared waitin' for me by the rail and smile. Its good to be back.

- l - l - l -

I'm back in my cabin with John Leroy- _Dear John, how are you man? What me? Oh I'm fine. Off to meet the King don't 'cha know. Imagine that!_- Jared and Higgins- _Yes! Higgins! Can you believe it? Me and the King_! _...May the good Lord have mercy upon his soul. ...Higgins!_

I smile at my dear Higgins and laugh. I cannot be angry at all. Let him say what he must, I know he is excited too. But there's more. I won't wait any longer. There's lots to do.

"We make for England men." I tell them. They know but I'm so excited I can't remember one word from the next. "There are lots of preparations to be made, we must be there in three weeks. We must take on fresh supplies. With winter this close we must start our crossing in the next few days. The going will be rough but we will manage. First things." I say, weaving my fingers together. "We will pull out from San Juan and head south. We will take on supplies at Humacao."

"Why south Captain? Surely there are better ports north of here? Or better yet, collect what we need from this port. Why waste the valuable time?" John Leroy asks. Clearly confused.

"Because, Mr. Leroy..." I say, working hard to mask my smile. "...Humacao, or better yet the Virgin islands, is where Mr. Jared and I will be married."

I look at Jared now and beam. He's grinning at me. _Oh that handsome grin_. I want to shout it to the heavens but I must contend myself with this cabin. John looks at me dumbly. Higgins is speechless. I look at them all and grin brightly. Jared sits silently on the other side of the table and watches me, just grinnin'. _You go ahead and grin you handsome devil. I love you all the more for it._

"Think of it Higgins!" I exclaim, making him jump a little. I've scared him. I smile."Oh sorry. _Think_! A wedding right here on the _Lorelei Lee_."

Higgins looks at me and sighs but in a minute he's smiling at me. "If this is what you want." he says, so much like a dotting father. "I am happy for you both. Congratulations."

Jared nods in thanks and I throw my arms around Higgins. I can't help it. He pats my back and shakes his head. When I let him go he turns to John, who's still a little speechless. But soon enough he too smiles.

"Congratulations Captain." he says, but practical John starts thinkin' work right off. "So how's this gonna work then?" he asks.

I smile. "Well. Here's what I was thinkin'..." I look across quick to Jared... 'cause even he doesn't know what's comin'. "...I will remain the owner and benefactor of both the _Lorelei Lee _and whatever assets Faber Shipping may come to have. But... Jared will be Captain."

My eyes flicker with pleasure as I watch Jared, starin' at me, his grin has slid off his face. He's shocked. I smile and feel tears prickin' at my eyes. It's better this way. The men don't need a married girl, heavy with child- which will probably happen sooner than later- shouting orders. _No. It's better you take over_. I cut my eyes to John and find him smilin' kindly at me. He's proud of this move I know. It stings a little, me giving up my command but I'd not give it to anyone but him. Liam was the only other I've ever given the Captaincy of my ship to... well besides that stint with Osgoode for looks. It feels odd but I'm happy about this and I appreciate John's pride in me._ It ain't easy John. _

"You're a wonderful man John, I couldn't have asked for a better First Mate and I do hope you understand." I say, I can feel my throat choakin' up. I don't dare look at Jared again, I just know I'll cry if I do.

"Aye lass." John says. I smile. It's the first time he's called me that. I like it actually.

"I will remain Captain only until we reach Humacao, where I will hand over my title to Jared." I take a breath, feeling a little chocked up. "After which... ehm... after which he and I will be married from the _Lorelei Lee _then leave the ship in your care for two days, which we will spend upon the island." _Oh and how we will spend it. _"Then we will return and Jared will have full command of the ship. I hope you will stay on as First Mate."

John smiles kindly for my words. "I'd like to." He says.

We both look to Jared. He smiles and leans forward to clap John on the back with a brotherly air. "I hope you do man."

John smiles and nods. "Then I will."

"Good." I smile at them both. "Then all there is to do is prepare for the wedding. We'll have to find someone to perform it."

Higgins nods. "I will take care of everything Miss. You needn't worry."

"Thank you Higgins." I beam, then I look at Jared, who's watchin' me. I pull my eyes away only a moment to look at John and Higgins. They both smile in an understanding sort of way then stand. I do too and so does Jared but we stay where we are. Only John and Higgins leaves.

I turn to Jared and smile adoringly as soon as the door clicks shut. He grins at me and shakes his head as if to say _just when I thought I had you figured out. _I smile and round the table to stand before him. I look up at him and meet his eyes. There's so much goodness behind those eyes.

"Captain?" he asks. "I thought we agreed to keep things the same as they are?"

"I know but then I thought... _Captain _Joseph Jared of the _Lorelei Lee_..." I smile at him innocently and shrug.

Jared smiles at me and leans in for a kiss. Which I give him. Gladly. Then pulls away and traces my jaw with his finger.

"Besides could you see me shoutin' orders with a fat babe on my hip?" I ask, with a smile.

Jared smirks. "Knowing you it'll happen anyway."

I laugh. _You're 'prolly right_. "So, the wedding. Have you any preferences? We should speak to Higgins if we do."

Jared shakes his head. "Just you and me. No Navy, no spies, no Frogs."

I smile and shake my head but then slip my hand along his cheek and pull him in for another kiss. Which he gives me. And it feels good, him leanin' over me following my lips with his. His arms around me. _Hmm_. This is going to be a wonderful year.


	10. A Wedding

_**Chapter Ten:: A Wedding**_

We come into Humacao, Puerto Rico, without any trouble. I hand my Captaincy over to Jared before all the crew and then we have music and dancing on the _Lorelei Lee_ that lasts long into the night. It's sort of part of the pre-wedding festivities I suppose. We all have a grand 'ol time.

The next day, while Higgins and I are out in the city to fit me for my wedding clothes, Jared takes full control of the ship for the first day. _The rascal, he doesn't do much about the ship, no he goes off and cleans out my entire cabin outfitting it with a great big cosy bed_. He took me to show it as soon as we got back and I couldn't do anything but laugh. I can see what he's got on his mind.

He tried to lure me to try to bed out but I refused. It does look comfortable though. No. Jared will spend tonight alone in the cabin, as fits his role as Captain, and I will stay in the city. Higgins will stay with me and it's there I will ready for the wedding and by noon tomorrow I will be married to Joseph. We will have a feast and festivities on the _Lorelei Lee _than he and I will head off for Vieques, an island just south of Humacao.

- l - l - l -

I'm with Higgins now at an Inn in the city. We're near the harbour and I can see the _Lorelei Lee _from my window, all small and floatin' happily in the harbour. I smile and give a sigh. The last rays of sun are just flickering out now and Higgins says I should get my rest. He's taken out the gown I'm to wear tomorrow and hung it on a hook on the wall. It's beautiful but I don't pay much attention to it now, I'm excited enough. I pull myself away from the window and go to Higgins, it's going to be a long night.

I didn't think I'd sleep a wink last night but I do and Higgins doesn't wake me until mid morning. All the better I guess, because the moment he wakes me I'm all nerves and excitement. He manages to make me sit down and eat something but I can't even remember what. I think with my stomach most days but today I'm not. He then has one of the servant girls draw a bath and get's me in it. He washes gets my hair all soapy then massages my head as I sink deep into the bubbles around me. _Hmm_.

"There are some things Miss, I think you should know, before this evening." he says, startin' off slow. "Has anyone spoken to you about the ways of a man and wife."

I put my head back, just enjoyin' the feeling on his strong fingers working around my head. _Aye, that they did Higgins. Back when I was not thirteen I had it from an honest to goodness experienced woman. A Mrs. Roundtree of Kingston Jamaica. _I smile at the thought. Those simple days, so long ago.

"Yes. I know about babies." I tell him.

Higgins nods. "And I take it you have never done this before? You _are _still a maiden?"

"Uh-huh." I reply. "Believe it or not."

"I do not doubt you Miss, but you must admit... you nor your Mr. Jared seem to be the sort for _abstinence."_ he says gently. I smirk. _You're right but we never did_. "I only wish to put you on your guard. It may not be exactly what you are expecting."

_Huh? How could it or could it not?_

"Rinse now Miss." He says, picking up a pitcher of water. I close my eyes and lean into the tub further and he pours the cool water over my head. Usually I like strictly hot baths and hot water over me but it feels wonderfully refreshing. He gets out all the soap and I lean back in the tub as he comes around and picks up the straight razor and beginning to soap it up.

"How's that now Higgins?" I ask. I'm not shy.

"It may not be entirely pleasant, the first time." He tells me. "Arm."

I raise my arm and he gets down to cleanin' me up there. I stare off into the corner of the room and frown.

"I am not saying that it will be like that Miss." he says. "I only want to prepared you."

"Is it always like that?" I ask, curious now actually.

"No. Only the first." he replies. I sigh. _Well ok then. That's ok. _I put my arm down and raise the other as he rounds the tub. "Also. Do not be alarmed if there is blood. It is quite natural."

I take a breath and nod. I don't like blood but I don't say anything. Can't be any worse than what I've gone through on a monthly basis in my short nineteen years of life.

When he finishes with my armpits he makes me raise my leg out of the water and does them. It's done quickly and we don't talk about tonight anymore. He's warned me that's enough.

After I'm clean and all washed up. I get out of the water and rub myself down. Higgins dries my hair and the sits me in a chair. He knows what's comin' next. He looks at me wrapped in the towel and waits. I smile at him.

"How would you like your hair?" he asks.

I think for a minute. I'd like to wear my bandanna but I don't even ask. _No, that wouldn't fly_. "I was thinkin' something pretty, maybe some up, some down?"

Higgins nods he gets to it. I'm surprised that Higgins is so versatile, he is quick with his actions but he knows what he's doing. I close my eyes and breath deep, waiting. It's peaceful like. He doesn't even burn me with the curler. When he's done he stands back and smiles, I think, wistfully.

"How's it look?" I ask, excited.

"The very essence of a Greek Goddess Miss."

I smile. A tear coming to my eye. _Perfect_.

"Now. Don't start that now." He says and pats my arm. "We must keep going."

I nod and he helps me into my under things. I talk him into less of what I should be wearing, for the sake of tonight, and although he doesn't think it is proper he relents. _It's my wedding day after all_! He then brings my dress and helps me with it. It's easy enough to get on, just slips over my head like an everyday gown the girls around here wear. When Higgins' has pulled and smoothed it to his liking he steps back and lets me go to the mirror.

My hair looks Grecian, as Higgins has said, and I love the way it makes me look. It softens the features I think are to strong and makes me look delicate. It hides my _still healing _scar too, which is good and proper on my wedding day. I love the way the hair softly frames my face and falls over my shoulders to my dress. _And oh my dress_. It is low cut and fitted around my body which makes me feel fine. Without any stays or ties, like I've mentioned, it's simple but I like it that way. I was a little worried it wouldn't fit but it does, _like a glove_. It's only made of white linen, covered in lace too but my favourite part is it's tattered edge that trails on the floor. It looks old because of this but I love it. This dress looks like it's been through a lot, just like me, that why I chose it. The skirt is not large, it does not look like a wedding dress with all it's usual bows, frills and flounces but I couldn't have loved it more than I do.

I smile, tears building in my eyes, and turn to Higgins. He gives me a smile for my tears and offers his arm.

"Shall we?"

I smile and go to him. _We shall. _

-I-I-I-

Higgins takes me to the _Lorelei Lee_, and the whole way is like a dream. We stop only once to pick some red freesias to act as my bouquet but I stop Higgins from picking them, I tell him I can't bear to kill them. He smiles at such sentimentality and we walk on, leaving the flowers behind. We stop though, passing a rose bush and he plucks three small buds and places them in my hair before I can stop him. Tears spring to my eyes and he quickly leads me on, before I can shed a tear. I hold tight to his arm and try to stay calm.

We are at the _Lorelei Lee _without no time and all my men are dressed in their best, it ain't much better than what they usually wear but I smile at each of them in thanks. They shout out to me, commenting how I look and I blush. The day being what it is. Higgins leads me away though and puts me in the cabin to wait for the ceremony. I've no idea where Jared is but he isn't here. I sit myself down in a chair and wait. Higgins has allowed me one glass of wine to calm my nerves, which I take right off. _I do need to calm down_. I wait. I wait for what feels like forever before I hear shouting and feel the _Lorelei Lee _begin to move. _Here we go. _

We don't go far, just leave the harbor and head out around the shore. Just out of the way for a little privacy. I look out the window and can see the island, Vieques, close on the horizon. I smile and wait. The anchor is dropped and shortly after Higgins comes for me. I stand when he enters and he gives me his arm. He doesn't speak. I go to him and take his arm and look up at his face. _Dear Higgins, you've always been there for me._

"Thank you Higgins." I say. Softly. I feel the tears comin'. "For everything. I am so very glad we found each other back then on the _Wolverine_."

_Back there on the Wolverine_. _Who would have known by the first day that I would find one of the best friends I would ever have and my future husband on the same ship_? I force a smile through my building tears and rejoice as Higgins smiles at me, looking a little teary himself but he blinks and all traces of it is gone.

"As am I Miss."

I smile and stand on my tiptoes and give him a good, devoted kiss on his cheek. He pats my arm and he takes me out.

_I'm getting married. _

As I walk out of the cabin, on Higgins' arm, all I see at first is all of the crew assembled. I feel my stomach knot but they all give me their best smiles, they nudge their mates and a few wipe away a tear. I am like a daughter and sister to most of them, they've all told me so, so I'm touched to see them do this. Watching their faces makes me think of the score of faces I would have loved to see amongst them though, I think of Liam, my old sea dad, and of my old mates from Cheapside, my mates from the _Emerald _and everyone in between then and now.

My heart melts then as my eyes skip, from the crowd of faces and from my thoughts of those missing, to stop on the Preacher standing at the bow. _It's happenin'_. I smile and look at the deck to try and clam my pounding heart as Higgins walks me forward and without missing a step my eyes return to the bow.

It's then that I see Jared. My heart leaps at the sight of him, tears fill my eyes and I work to blink them away but it takes me until we reach the main mast before I can see him again. I open my mouth and breath deep, stilling the tears for the moment, at least.

My eyes lock with his and I feel my heart warm as he cracks his usual grin as he looks me up and down. _Oh Jared_. He's standing before the Preacher, one who looks a tad dusty but he fits in well with us, and is dressed in his full black Captains gear. To me, he's never looked more roguishly handsome than he does at this moment. _I'm marrying a pirate not a sailor _I realize then, seeing him look so perfectly at home amongst this ragtag crew.

Again I feel my tears threaten but I don't have enough time to quell them, as Higgins brings me next to him. He grins down at me then turns to Higgins and nods. Higgins steps back and Jared and I take each other's hands. The Preacher smiles and opens his old tattered Bible.

"Dearly beloved..." he begins. "...we're gathered here today, before these witnesses, to join in Holy Matrimony... Captain Joseph Jared and Lieutenant Mary, '_Jacky_, Faber."

My eyes cut to Jared's face and he smiles a little brighter, he rubs my hand with his finger and I can't hold back the tears, one plunges over my eyelashes and trails down my cheek. I take a breath and for a moment my tears stop. I look at Jared and he beams down at me. _You sod_. I want to growl for making me cry but I don't, no I just cut my eyes back to the Preacher and he smiles at me.

_What a dammed lucky girl_. That's all I'm thinkin' as he goes on, my thoughts of anger gone as soon as they formed. _I am such a lucky girl. Not any man would do that._

"...if anyone has just cause that these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace." he pauses and I hold my breath. No one says a thing. "Very well, have you rings?"

I exhale quickly. Glad not to hear a word in protest. I look at Jared and he turns to John, standing on his right. I wait. He turns back to me, rings in hand. The Preacher smiles.

"Very good. _Captain_." He looks at Jared. "Repeat after me please. 'I Joseph Jared..."

"I, _Captain _Joseph Jared." he grins and a murmur of chuckles spreads through the crew.

The Preacher shakes his head but smiles and goes on. "...'take Mary Faber as my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and health, for richer for poorer, until death do us part.'"

Jared smiles and holds the ring at the end of my finger, his eyes locked on mine. "I, _Captain _Joseph Jared, take _Puss_..." I smile, tears brimming again. "... as my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health..." His smile softens here and his jaw clenches but he presses on. I breath deep. "...for richer or poorer, 'til death do us part."

I sniff back the tears but they spill out anyway. I look down and Jared slips my ring onto my finger. It's a gold band with an emerald the size of my thumbnail set into it. More tears spill. _I never... where did he ever get this_? I pull my eyes to his and take a jagged breath. _This isn't fair. I can't stop cryin_'! He smiles at me and I do my best to return it.

"Now." The Preacher grabs my attention and waits until I nod. I take a breath. "Repeat after me... 'I Mary, Jacky, Faber, take Joseph Jared...'"

I take a breath and try to keep my voice steady but I can't. "I, Jacky Faber, take Joseph Jared..." I don't even bother to use my title or his as he's done. _The less words I have to say the better_. Jared smiles brightly anyway.

The Preacher goes on. "...'as my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer until death do us part.' "

My chest heaves but I do it, like Jared, I begin again. Shaky voice and all. "I, Jacky Faber, take Joseph Jared as my lawfully wedded husband. In sickness and in health... for richer or poorer..." I hold Jared's gaze a moment then peel my lips apart, a sob building in my throat. "...for as long as we both shall live on God's green earth... and then some."

Jared flashes me a smile but I can see him blink twice. _Are they tears Jared_? Tears blind me, but I slid the ring onto his finger. It's not normal for a husband to wear a ring, not everywhere, but he's agreed to wear it for the wedding at least, then he'll put it on a chain about his neck or put it somewhere safe. I don't mind. _Ring or not, we're married_. I hold his hand for a moment, just looking at it then we both look at the Preacher. He looks over us fondly then smiles and closes his Bible.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss-" Jared grabs me and bends me backwards, kissing me strong before the entire crew. The crew _whoops _and hollers, shouting loudly in congratulations but somewhere amidst it all I hear the Preacher laugh."...your bride."

And it's then, as Jared pulls me back up and grins at me, he kisses me again, do we turn and face the crew. _I am married_. I look up at Jared and he's lookin' out over the crew proudly. I slip my arm through Jared's and look at Higgins, clapping as the crew still shouts. I smile lovingly at him and put my other hand on Jared's arm, looking down at my ring. My beautiful emerald and I smile.

_We are married_.


	11. En Route

_**Chapter Eleven:: En Route**_

Jared and I are back aboard the _Lorelei Lee _a few days later, and en route for England. We had a wonderful time on the island together. So wonderful a time that I was very sorry to leave it and return to the ship but Jared has promised me that we will return and enjoy it again, just as he did, when all of this business with the King is over. I hope we do.

I lie in our big bed, now, in our cabin and stretch happily. Jared is outside with the crew, _him being Captain and all. _Though we're just newly married he ain't allow to sleep in with his little bride. Its not a fun rule but it's one, and the ship and men must be cared for. If there was no rules such as that the men would never see their Captain, _I would make sure of that._ So here I am alone, and my husband is out discussing our heading with John Leroy. I smile despite it and lounge about. I like married life. It's only been a few days back now but each I stay in bed and wait for Jared while he goes out and works then comes back into me as much as he can. I smile and burry my face in my pillow and lull myself off for a few more minutes of sleep, waiting for him to return.

In a little while, my stomach growlin', wakes me and I roll out of bed and pull one of Jared's shirts over my head. I suppose I must leave the cabin at some point. It has been four days now. So, hunger propellin' me, I pad over to the table where there is a covered plate for me. Higgins brought it soon after Jared left and laid it there for me. I sit and eat. Somehow food tastes better on these mornings. I smile and drink my coffee then pat my mouth on my napkin and go back to the wardrobe, I choose a pair of cream trousers and a green vest for today, throw them on, change my shirt, then strap my belt around my hips and head out. _Mrs. Captain Joseph Jared, on deck_! I smile.

-o-o-o-

That night, after the sun dipped below the horizon, Jared and I after much debate have both John Leroy and Jared's Second Mate, Luce Smyth, to dinner. I say after much debate because we would both _love _to ignore dinner and dive into our big bed, unfortunately that's not an option all the time. It takes us newlyweds a little while before we really enjoy ourselves but we do. We've invited Higgins too but he says this is business and only serves us our dinner then leaves us to it. It's a rich spread alright, beef with mushrooms and red wine. Fresh bread and artichokes with Hollandaise sauce. Then strong coffee and french truffles. _Hmm_. _Remind me luv_, I say to Jared, popping another truffle down my throat, _to have you promote the cook_. Jared smirks and sits back, sipping his wine with his arm around the back of my chair.

"So." He says, looking to our guests. "What's the word men? How do we fair?"

I sit back and nestle myself against him, pull my leg up under me and sip at my coffee. I'm interested to hear what the men have to say too. I may not be Captain but I am lord and master... _well kind of... _and besides we're going to England because the King wants me. _My, what a'holier-than-thou' one am I?_

"The weather is fine and our speed is fair. Without any storms coming upon us we should arrive in England with time to spare." Leroy replies, pouring himself more coffee.

"Good." I say. "Because I've a few things in mind."

Leroy raises his brows in surprise but it is Smyth who speaks. "Why should we not be surprised?"

I cut my eyes to him and narrow my gaze but I smile regardless of the chance he's taken with that comment. I normally would be ruffled by a comment like that but around the dinner table we are friends and I like Smyth, he's a good man, I let the comment go.

"I was thinkin' of maybe makin' a few modifications to the ship whilst we are docked. I..._we _may be in London some time and I think it would be a good idea." I tell them.

The men nod. They all agree. I promise to write up a possible list and leave it at that for now. _Hmm, what should we do? A new figurehead for the new Mrs. Jared? Enlarge our cabin? Extra guns? Decisions, decisions!_

"Now, to the next order of business." Jared says, taking a lock of my hair between his fingers and weaving it through them absently as his eyes move from Leroy to Smyth and back again. I smile at him and lean my head against his shoulder. "We should discuss plans for Puss' safety while in London."

The men stifle a smile for Jared's affectionate name for me and nod. They're getting used to it. "How many will be in the party travelin' to London?"

Jared glances down at me. "Three or four I would think. Captain Eaton may allow me more but I have a feeling he will want some of his officers there while not looking... crowded." I reply, looking at the table, I'm thinkin'. _Yes. The Captain and his officers. Jaimy will be there too I'm sure._

"I would suggest Roulf, Captain." Leroy says, humbly. "With you and the lass and her man it would leave only another to accompany you and Roulf would be the safest choice, him bein' a retired Marine and an Artillery Officer in the war."

Jared nods and I agree. _Roulf would be a very good choice_. I don't say anything though, it's Jared's choice.

"Of course it would not be known that we all will be armed. In our ways." I say, looking at each face in it's turn. "Both you and I, Jared, are experienced yes but as is Higgins. He has always been a protector of mine."

"Aye, I'm sure. It wouldn't hurt to have another pistol in hand though Puss." Jared says to me then looks to Leroy as I don't deny it. "What men have the most experience?" Jared asks then, taking a mouthful of wine. I frown. _What's he gettin' at? _

"Experience Captain?" Leroy asks.

"Aye, in hand-to-hand combat, marksmanship or even apothecary."

"Apothecary?" I ask, pulling away to look at him.

"Aye." Jared answers me as if it's the most normal thing in the world to have such a person on hand. "We should be ready for anything."

I blink. He's serious. "But..."

Jared smiles at me. "I'll explain later."

I nod and settle back against his chest, turning my eyes back to the men. They seem to understand. _Why don't I know what they're talkin' about_?

"I'll have something drawn up Captain." Leroy tells Jared with a nod.

"Good. Keep in mind, we want unassuming rogues." Jared smirks a little and both Leroy and Smyth reply with a smile. I do too. _Sly Jared, very sly_. "That'll be all men."

The men nod and put their mugs onto the table, empty or not, and stand. They nod to Jared, as Captain, and then to me, thanking us for the invitation. I smile as Jared nods and tell them it was a pleasure. They leave and we stay where we are for some while, just savouring this, for a time at least.

"Jared?"

"Hmm?" he looks down at me.

"What did you mean about the man to accompany us to London and his experience?"

Jared gives me a quick grin. "There's benefits in any experience."

"But apothecary?"I ask, frowning. _Of all people, what would we need a druggist for?_

Jared smirks. He knows what I'm thinkin' just by the look on my face. "Aye. You know what they do Puss, don't you?"

"Of course. They prepare medicines." I retort sourly. "What to we need with a stuffy chemist?"

"Exactly. A _chemist_." Jared grins down at me. "Think about it Puss, someone who works with powders and chemicals, they'd know a lot about such things. Even maybe such things as how certain powders and chemicals react with each other." He raises his brows here and I'm lost but he continues. "...now tell me, when's the last time you've not done anything without a big show? I can think of several off the top of my head, many of which I wasn't even there to witness."

I frown and look at the table pouting, yes, but he's right. He chuckles and circles his arm around me tighter. I try and shrug him off but he weaves his hand through my hair and tweaks my ear teasingly.

"Apothecary experience would allow someone to create an explosion Puss, if one was needed."

I turn and look at him. _The idea of it. _I'd never realized. Jared smiles and gives me a little nod.

"Aye. I didn't believe it either but I've heard more than one report of it happening. Who knows what spot we'll find ourselves in." he gives a little shrug. "Just lookin' out for you Puss, I'd never take you to London only to loose you to some whim of the King."

I smile up at him. I like it when he's so protective. I've never had that before. Not but a few times when Jaimy tried to protect my honour but this is different. Jared isn't trying to protect my name, he's protecting me because he wants me with him, 'cause he loves me. Jared fingers the hair around my face and looks at me all deep and serious.

"I'll take you to London Puss... but sure as hell... _you are _coming back with me."

I put my face into his neck and close my eyes. _Fine by me Jared._

-o-o-o-

Another week into our crossing, the weather is still fine, we met with a strong squall two days ago but thankfully we only caught the edge of it and within hours we were safe from any danger. Jared refused to have me out of the cabin during it, I fought with him but he locked me in. That night I swore I would not allow him back to our bed but I soon forgot it and was only so thankful both my ship and husband were unharmed I could not refuse his wet self into the cabin and later, my bed. _Oh well, call me a liar, I don't care._

The men are all in good spirits, we are set to see England in fourteen days and they are eager for some shore leave again. The rascals, I do not doubt have some good English lasses to visit be them good girls or bad. It is not my place to comment on it but I shake my head whenever I hear them talk. _Men, I swear_.

It's four days since the squall now and seeing as the sa ils once again calm, I've had two crewmen bring my bathtub up to the cabin and Higgins draw me a bath. I am so very proud of my tin bathtub, it is an extravagance I know but before we left Puerto Rico I insisted on having a bathtub, since Jared went ahead and furnished our cabin so... exquisitely, I can have a bath. So once my bath is drawn, steaming and full of bubbles Higgins leaves me to it. I climb into the tub and sink up to my nose in the bubbles. This is my one vice- a scalding tub of water. Given my childhood, dirty and naked on the streets of London, you'd think I'd be against such things that I was told could bring such harm, immersing yourself in water but I don't. A life time of being cold and dirty will do that to you.

Jared lays on our bed, surrounded by papers and ledgers, clearly deep in thought about his work. I lean my head back and soak quietly, blissfully happy, until the ruffling of papers brings me back to the world. I look over at Jared, and smile, he's got his hands behind his head, laying back, watching me with a grin. I smile and blow a few bubbles into the air from the pile surrounding me.

"I've decided something." I say, leaning my head back again, staring at the ceiling. "I'm going to have Higgins record my life story for the King... if he asks me for it."

"I thought you've already been immortalized in print." Jared smirks.

"Don't tell me, you've read them too." I ask, my eyes snapping back to his. He grins and I know it to be true of him as well.

"Damn." I mutter and swish about my bath, cursing my writer friend. I love Amy truly but I really could have done without her books about me.

"And I'm sure if the King has heard of you he's read them too." Jared tells me with amusement. "What would he need another account for?"

"Because those dammed books have brought me nothing but trouble." I retort sourly. "It's not true!"

Jared raises his brow and cocks his head, just laying there grinnin' across at me. I frown. I'd like to slap that grin off his face but I only grumble to myself, guilt worming it's way into my ungrateful gut.

"...not _all _of it." I mumble.

"What's that Puss?" he asks, feigning innocence.

"Alright! So most of it's true but not _all_!"

"And you want to set his Majesty right? Tell him the truth about yourself and deny whatever was written about you before, or do you want to write yourself the perfect heroine?" he asks

I growl and go back to my bath. I do not want to cast myself in any other light, both he and I know what person I truly am. _I am a coward_. I would though, like to shed some light on the injustices I have been dealt over the years. A penniless orphan, her little sister sold to be cut up and put in jars, a young girl hiding under the flag of his Navy because of pure desperation, then again pressed into his service because of an insane Captain who wanted nothing more than to satisfy his lust, her life put on the line to serve her country then not even acknowledged as part of his Navy, captured by French agents and forced into a life of espionage then thrust into one of the bloodiest battles ever fought... twice, forced down to the bottom of the ocean to fill the Kings coffers then sent off to exile half way across the world. I turn back to Jared to tell him such, he knows my story, but I stop when he gives me a smile. One softened by understanding.

"I know Puss. Have your man write it. Give _his Majesty _somethin' to think about up there in his gilded palace."

I smile at him then. _This is why I love you so much_. _You understand me. _

I turn back to my bath, not commenting about it but something reminds me of my days on the _Bloodhound_, the slaver I spent some weeks on with the Lawson Peabody girls. Don't ask me why, but something reminds me our escape and the snake... but I do have to admit... _pagan temptress, _Miss Clarissa Worthington Howe. I dip my face into the bubbles a second and grin wickedly. I glance back at Jared. I love my husband but I do love to make a show. Then, right before I spring my plan into action I remember Paris. I lay my head back and think about my dancing troupe friends and all of our silly performances, wearing hardly more than a frill and a bow. I look to Jared again. _Wouldn't you have enjoyed that_. I smile and mentally run through the contents of my trunk. I don't have what I wore then, but just in case I do think I might have something... I smile into my bubbles, _suddenly I am very much done with my bath_.

I get out and towel off, wrapping myself in my dressing gown I head over to my trunk and dig down and... lone behind there it is, right at the bottom. I grin and gather up everything I need then wad it up, so as Jared wont notice then duck behind the dressing screen. _Why we have this scene, I have no idea ,but I'm glad we do now. _

"Jared." I say, doffing my cloak and beginning my transformation.

"Mmm?"

I hear ruffling papers again.

"Have I ever told you about Paris?" I inquire as sweetly as I can.

"I don't think so Puss." he says. More ruffling papers.

"Really?" I ask, pulling here, tying there, fluffing. "It was wonderful... well not the spying but everything else. We should go some time."

"I have a feeling that the French might not be too happy to have you back as yet." he says.

"I know. But if we could, you would love it. I'm sure you would." I say, looking at myself in the looking glass. _Ooh-la-la _I'm thinking. I turn and look at myself. _I look pretty fantastic_. I turn again and size myself up. _I need a riding crop or something, to set it off just how I'd like it, but alas, this will have to do. _So, wrapped in my cloak again I step out from behind the screen and look at him. Still shifting through papers.

I go to the end of the bed and look at him.

"Are you finished?" I ask. "Wine?"

Jared takes one last look at the ledger then piles everything up, giving me a nod. I go to the bureau and pour two glasses then on my round trip back to the bed I lock the door. This gets me a smile from Jared, which I return but I say nothing of it and neither does he. I hand him his wine then carefully climb onto the bed, carful not to flash what I've got under the cloak. _Not yet anyway_. He gives me a funny look but says nothing. I smile and sip my wine then set it down and lay back. _Ok, time to set it._

"I have heard about the trip to Havana though." Jared says with a smile. "You've always been a little mermaid."

"Yes. I confess I am." I reply then smile at him from under my lashes. "...but Paris..."

Slowly I slide my leg out from under the cloak and watch with pleasure as Jared's eyes find my stocking foot and travel up, all the way to my gartered thigh. A grin slowly spreads onto his face as he looks back at my face. He doesn't say a word but I know what he's thinkin' as I reach up a tug at the string holding my cloak closed. The string unloosened, it peels open and I see his eyes drop to the black frilled corset inside. Then, looking back at my face, his eyes glint with real heat.

"I love you."

Now I flash him my foxy grin.

I confess, I am shameful by everyday standards... and liable to burn in hellish torment for a good few thousand years by puritan standards, but I do like that Jared is just as bad as me. A normal husband would enjoy this to an extent, I am sure, but I don't just stop there. No, I suppose I'm more of a mistress type. It sounds bad in my own head but aren't they the seductive kind? _Ain't that what I doin' now_?_ If I were married to anyone else, wouldn't they would soon be ashamed of such a girl, acting like I do? _I wonder about that. In my experience with men, they seem like they wouldn't. Maybe gentlemen, real purebred ones but in general... _I don't know_. Not Jared though, he's not like those gentlemen. He loves me like this and, for him, I love being this kind of woman.

A while later when we are snugged up and each on the edge of sleep, I nuzzle my face into his neck and sigh. So many nights I've spent alone, uncertain of the next day, hungry or hurt. Not now. Jared runs his hand over my shoulder, stroking my bare skin, and it feels better than anything else I've ever felt. I close my eyes and sleep, feeling safe and happy. _Life is wonderful._

-o-o-o-

"There she is." I look over England looming on the horizon and heave a sigh. I'm excited but... " I swore I'd never come back."

I look across to Higgins, standing at my side, we've just finished our work. The tale, as truthful as I could say, of my life is written down and bound in a leather cover. And in good time too, we will dock within the next two days. We can see England but it's still as way off now. I sigh again and look at my home country.

I haven't been feeling myself lately, Higgins says it's just nerves-_ I am meeting King George after all_- but I don't know. I grip the rail and look over my shoulder at Jared up on the quarterdeck with Leroy, busy and distracted by the preparations we've to make to ready ourselves for the trip to London. It's not just nerves about the King, I know that, I've been fighting with Jared too.

"Yes Miss, but this is a momentous occasion." Higgins says, brining my attention back to him.

"Hmm. Yes. I guess it is." I lean over the rail and look at the ocean below.

"You still cannot be apathetic about Mr. Fletcher. That was the reason you swore never to return, wasn't it?" he asks.

"Yes and no I suppose. Like I told you before, I talked to Jaimy after meeting Captain Eaton, we've patched things up. I just..." I heave a sigh and stand up straight. "...I never thought I'd come back. I've friends here and the Home but I've never felt like it _was home_... at least, not since the British Intelligence got a hold of me."

Higgins nods sympathetically but says nothing. I believe he understands. _He always does_. We're not so much alike but deep down somewhere he's a little like me, and me a little like him. It doesn't happen often but sometimes I see that.

"It does give one a dour taste to return to a place that holds no fond memories. A place which will always remain foreign because of those unpleasant memories." Higgins muses.

I nod slowly. "It just doesn't feel like the sea, you know?"

Higgins nods. He's as purebred an English gentleman comes but he's learned to love the sea, as I have, he knows how I feel.

"Anyway... we'd better start to get ready."

Higgins nods again and we turn, leaving the rail for my cabin to begin to pack a few things for the journey. Higgins has insisted I will need some new gowns and the men new suits if we are to meet the King. I agree. We will have to arrange a seamstress to fit us out when we arrive in Brighton.

Jared comes into the cabin, as we are packing. He comes to work I suppose but I've strewn clothes all over the cabin in my packing fury, so much so that there's little room to do anything else. He stands just inside the door, a map under his arm, and gazes over the mayhem. I'm sitting at the table going through my jewelry, trying to find anything suitable as Higgins packs my trunk. Jared looks at me and waves at the current hell with his map.

"What's this?"

"We're packing." I reply, stone faced, _as if it isn't obvious_.

"This isn't packing." Jared replies with a subtle smirk. "Come on Puss, collect all of this and put it away. I can't work in here, let alone do anything else."

"But we need to pack. There isn't much time before we reach England and leave for London."

"Well_ I _need to work anyway Puss. Clean this up." He says gesturing at the table.

I lay down a necklace upon the table and look at him, calm and level. I can feel my blood rise. I don't know why it happens so easily but I can feel it. My anger is just... _there_. It surges through my veins as I look at him. He's lost his ever present smirk and now wears a frown. He hasn't been smiling much lately, we have had our minor arguments but this feels different. He is not joking anymore and I am not in any mood to receive him now, amidst my packing. _It sounds selfish of me but there you go, I am selfish I suppose._

"I am packing here. Why don't you work in the state room?" I ask, my voice sharp. "That is what it's there for."

Jared fixes me in his gaze. I see his jaw tighten but I don't back down. _The only reason we are making this trip is because of me. _

"This is my cabin too Jacky and I will work here if I want." he says, his tone now is just as low as mine is sharp.

I look at him, acutely noticing the absence of his fond _Puss_. He hasn't called me _Jacky _in years. It feels foreign to hear him say it but I don't dwelt on that very long. All I dwell on is the fact that he is poking at my anger and I do not like it one bit.

"You can work anywhere you want _but _here _Joseph_. Higgins and I are busy. We'd appreciate it if you left us to our work." I say, turning back to my sorting, my teeth clenched.

"Yes, you and Higgins." Jared replies, tossing the map onto the cabinet by him. He's not about to leave _at all_. I cut my eyes to him. _I do not like his tone_. "That is all I've been hearing lately and I am getting bloody sick of it."

I don't know what it is, but something inside of me snaps. I frown darkly at Jared and open my mouth to curse him for talking to me like that but he cuts me off before I even have a chance to speak.

"Higgins." Jared cuts his eyes to John, cautiously standing by the bureau. Jared cuts his eyes then to the door and I bite my tongue. I suppose it is better that we be alone for this. _No one needs to know what I'm going to say to the insolent-_

"Yes Captain." Higgins says meekly and heads for the door. He pauses by it a moment and looks at me, I give him a sharp nod, _I'll be alright_. _I'm bursting to scream at Jared_. With a nod of his own he goes and I glare across as Jared as I slowly rise to my feet.

"What _the hell _do you mean you've heard nothin' but me and Higgins?" I growl.

"Ever since you made your mind up to write that bloody book, it's all I've heard." he cuts back. "It's all _me and my precious Higgins." _

"Well I am sorry." I huff, daintily giving him a bow. "_I am sorry _I have neglected you sir."

Jared frowns darkly at me. "Don't drag me into _that _shite now Jacky."

I frown at him and turn back to my packing stubbornly. This is so unlike him. Then again it's so unlike me too but I don't care, I press on sardonically.

"What do you want me to do? Just sit here like a good little wife, sew and arrange dinner? Give you ten sons and ten daughters? Say nothing but _yes sir, no sir _and smile daintily, spinning my parasol?" I snarl. "Cause I wont do it Jared. _I_ am the reason we are making this dammed trip, so you'd better leave me to it. I-"

"Yes, you and your goddamned visit to theKing. We know about it! It's all everyone has heard since Puerto Rico. I know you're excited but give it a bloody rest!" Jared retorts, glaring at me.

"Give it a..." I frown, I don't know where this anger is comin' from but it keeps comin'. I'm really workin' myself up now. "... You're jealous arn't you?"

Jared's face tenses. He doesn't say anything.

"That's it!" I actually smile, but wickedly. "You're jealous because the attention isn't on you anymore. You got the girl, _yes finally_! You got her, you wed her, you bed her _but now _the King wants her and _she's going_. Yes, the eyes are on me now. _Ha_, what thrill you'll get in London. All eyes on your darlin' little wife while you stand in the shadows... alone and your _conquest _of her forgotten." I raise my chin and look into his face, completely unafraid. "Well, you can forget about that. I don't want you there. No, I don't want you there to ruin the fun with your jealousy."

Slowly, Jared's face changed as I spoke, going through an array of emotions, but now... it changes for the worst. It doesn't exactly drop but he's got a look of painful, frustrated anger in his eyes. It ain't good either. I don't know what he's thinkin' but the look on his face makes my stomach twist. I've never seen him that way since the French prison when he was glaring at Bliffil. I know it immediately, _I've gone too far_. I frown, I open my mouth to try and take it back but its too late.

"You Jacky..." He says, low and even, calm like. "... you are the most spoilt, self-absorbed _ass _I have ever met. You were a much better _piece _back on the _Wolverine_, when you knew when to shut up and long before you knew the way things we-"

_That's it. _I step forward and with all my strength I slap him in the face and even with all the terrible things I've just said to him, I don't care. I'm not the slapping kind but I hit him so hard he recoils from it, and it gives me great pleasure to feel the skin on my hand heat from the blow and his face flush from the same.

"Get out you miserable bastard." I command, low and quiet but my whole body is trembling with anger. I look down my nose at him, my breath heavy with anger.

Jared doesn't say a word, raise his hand to his face where I hit him, nor does he raise his hand against me... _as I deserve_. He only stands tall and holds his ground, looking down at me with quiet anger. I've never seen him angry before, not like this, all pent up. Not while he looked at me anyway. But I'm not dwelling on that now. All I want or am thinking on is how angry I am with him right now.

He only stands there for a minute before he turns, grabs his map and goes, shaming the door behind him. I hear him outside, cursing loudly at someone, as I go to the door and lock it. I turn back to the cabin, still fuming with anger and charge into it, cursing myself, as I throw my clothes around. I do that for several minutes before I stop dead, in the centre of the cabin and drop to the floor, dissolving into tears.

I replay the entire fight in my mind, word for word, and I cover my face with my hands in shame. _What's happening to us? What just happened? Jared... why?_ I lay on the floor, amidst my clothes, and cry. I hear a knock at the door and a voice that sounds like Higgins but I don't reply. I don't want to talk to anyone.

_I want to die. What's happening?_


	12. To London

_**Chapter Twelve:: To London**_

We reach England's shores two days later and dock quietly at the wharf in Brighton. I've not seen Jared since our fight. I haven't mentioned him, not asked after him when Higgins comes to me, but he's always on my mind. I am still angry with him but I miss him more than anything. I want to apologize for my words but I can't bring myself to ask about him. Higgins is attentive to me but John Leroy is distant. His loyalty is to Jared of course, as Captain. No matter, I have things to worry about now that we are in England.

The afternoon after we dock, Higgins and I set out into Brighton to get the clothes we will need. That day I buy three new gowns for formal occasions. Higgins spares no details and soon I am being poked and prodded by seamstresses. I do not know what I am to do when I meet King George but I must be properly attired, mustn't I? I ask Higgins, since the King want's to meet Jacky Faber, Lieutenant, pirate, spy and solider... if it would not be appropriate to give him her, exactly as she is, but he refuses.

"It will be proper Miss. Your love of the scandalous and exotic will not be permitted."

I pout. _Ok. Fine. But I don't care much for these corsets. My guts hurt too much_. Higgins only shakes his head at my complaints. He does not relent. _Fine_. I will be proper and fashionable. I do like to be beautiful but I'd rather be scandalous.

We return to the ship, much in the same shape we left it in. The men, not on liberty, are working at what jobs need to be completed before the _HMS Royal Arms _arrives and we journey to London. This time though, when we step back onto the ship, laden with parcels, I spy Jared on the quarterdeck, overseeing things. Immediately I feel my anger rise at the sight of him. I resent him walking there, unaffected and bold as ever. I frown and quickly make for my cabin. I lock the door behind me. I do not let him or anyone else in.

-o-o-o-

The next day, the _HMS Royal Arms _arrives and docks at the wharf alongside us. It's still a nervous feelin', being so close to an English Man of War, considering my history with the Navy of late. The men feel it too, them never being such exemplary citizens and all but they hold steady and manage to show some decorum when Captain Eaton graces us with a visit soon after arriving.

I am out to greet him, in my blue skirt and tight fitting jacket, looking much more like the lady I must be on this visit. Yes, I am not wearing my Lieutenant's jacket, but Higgins has woven some gold lace into the lapels so it makes it fell special. I feel smart, being strapped into my rig again but as Jared leaves the quarterdeck to come and greet the Captain as well, I stiffen. He doesn't stand next to me but even standing near him makes me uneasy. I don't know what's happened between us, but Jared doesn't even look at me. I frown. My stomach knots, but I don't have enough time to think of it, for Captain Eaton arrives on deck.

"Welcome Captain, to the _Lorelei Lee_" I smile, dropping to a low curtsy. I rise to notice two Officers and two Midshipmen behind him. Jaimy's one of 'em. I hold my breath and force my smile to remain, delicate and refined. Just as Mistress Primm would want me to.

"Ah, _Captain _Faber, a fine ship. A fine ship indeed." The Captain smiles, apparently over his qualms about a woman Captain, and looks over the ship. I take this opportunity to cut my eyes to Jared and see what he thinks about the Captain giving me his actual position. Jared doesn't say a word, he only looks straight ahead. _Fine, so be it, the Captain I shall be then._

I brighten my smile for the Captain's benefit, and to Jared's detriment. I know, that although he isn't lookin' at me he's paying attention. _Very well_. I will sell it. _See how you like it, you tight mouthed sod._

"And, I see you have brought your charming Officers Fletcher and Redcliff. Welcome to the _Lorelei Lee _gentlemen."

Jaimy smiles at me but then furrows his brow, looking at the large gap between me and Jared no doubt. I don't pay much attention to it though, I cast my eyes over a civil Redcliff to the young Midshipmen.

"Welcome gentlemen." I smile charmingly at them. The younger blushes but the older manages to only nod to me in reply. _Such charming, handsome young men. _I purr as I turn back to the Captain.

"We have prepared a glorious feast for you and your men, Captain. If you would just follow me." I sweep my arm towards the cabin.

The Captain smiles and rubs his hand together in anticipation then heads in, with his men behind. I turn to Jared and Leroy, apparently about to follow suit but I stop then, my jaw clenched but a smile on my lips.

"Mr. Leroy you have the con. See that we are not disturbed for any reason." I say, my eyes firmly locked upon his face and ignoring Jared all together but it does no good for he only turns away and returns to the quarterdeck. _Fine, don't' play the game._

"But-" Leroy looks at Joseph, walking away.

"Do it Leroy. My orders are still above _Mr. _Jared's." I retort, quietly.

His chest rises but he only nods. He will obey, he has to. I turn back for the cabin to find Jaimy waiting by the door, looking concerned.

"Jacky..?" He asks, quietly as I reach him.

I smile and him and take his arm. "Come, Jaimy, let us eat and drink. This is a joyous time for all."

Jaimy is stiff as he glances behind but he soon relaxes as we head into my cabin to meet with the others and the lavish feast Higgins has planned. I want to impress them. I want to put on a good show. And indeed I do.

Within two hours we have feasted and made our plans for London. We leave in the morning and will take two coaches to London. Our party will total only ten, mostly Captain Eaton's men, but we will be well cared for. We will reach London in two days, staying at selected Inns along the way. Once we reach London, we will spend the night at one of the finer Inns and then go to the Palace the next morning, where I will be introduced to King George. I confess, I am giddy now that we are here, but as I lay here and try to sleep I cannot help but feel a mixture of guilt and anxiety.

Captain Eaton has allowed four men to accompany me. One of his Officers will be included in my party just to be safe, and that ironically has been chosen to be Jaimy. Higgins will be the second. Leroy the third and it has been decided that young George Thomas will be the fourth. I bite my lip and turn onto my side. Jared is not included in the party. I know he should have been included, I should have insisted but I did not. Jaimy frowned, no doubt wondering about my choice, but I am still angry with Jared. Now, I am only nervous. I want us to make up and be each forgiven but I fear, since I cannot go back on this decision, that this will only make it worse.

I close my eyes and try to sleep but it doesn't come. I only toss and turn. _Why can't this be easy?_

-o-o-o-

The next morning we leave the _Lorelei Lee _in high style. I'm dressed in a fine new dress and jacket. Higgins, Leroy and George are in their new black suits as well and follow close behind me. They don't look it but they're armed to the teeth. I don't know if Captain Eaton expects it, but when Jaimy arrives at the gangplank and casts a wary eye over my men, I know he knows the truth. Who wouldn't when you've, for years, dealt with a girl who hides a knife up her sleeve. I'm a trusting girl sometimes, but most often I'm smarter than I look.

I cast my eyes over the ship. I don't see Jared anywhere. I wanted to explain... to apologize but I can't keep the Captain waiting. I meet Smyth's eyes and I can feel the tears comin'. _Why Jared_?

"Where is he?" I ask, I hear my voice crack.

Smyth's chest rises and falls but he only shakes his head sympathetically.

"Sorry Miss." is all he says and I understand.

They have affection for me but they are loyal to their Captain, and he doesn't want to be found. _He doesn't want to talk to me. _I lower my chin and bit my tongue. I don't cry, though I want to, I lift my chin again and look at Smyth. I force a weak smile.

Smyth gives me an encouraging look. "Good luck, Miss." He says. "We'll be here, waiting to hear the tale."

I take a deep breath, my tears threatenin', and I nod. I can't bear to speak now. I turn and leave the ship without another word, meet Jaimy on the wharf and walk with him and Higgins to the carriage. Deep down, _somewhere_, it feels like old times.

I get seated into the carriage with Higgins at my side. Jaimy and George sits across while Leroy sits up top with the driver... just in case. I arrange the folds of my dress and fold my glove bound hands on my lap, gazing out the window. I look over the _Lorelei Lee _and frown. There's a crack of the whip and we lurch forward. _Onto London_. I keep my eyes on the ship. I watch her, scanning the deck for Jared, but I see no one. I pull my eyes away but quickly they move back, my heart sinks, I see a lone figure standing atop the for'scale. My throat grows dry and I feel the tears again... that Black Cloud looming on the horizon in my mind.

I know it's him right off, even though I can't see him clear. Just a shadow really but that was his place so long ago, up in those sails. I felt a stab at my heart thinkin' about it and watch, with each pound of the horses hooves, his silhouette grow smaller. I keep my eyes fixed on him anyway, then the carriage turns a corner, and I see him no more.

I put my back against the seat again and close my eyes tight. _Oh Jared._

We are off to London. I am off to London to meet the King of England... without my husband.

-o-o-o-

The journey goes by in a blur. The men talk a little to each other but I only look out the window. We break several times, to eat at roadhouse or change horses at a depot but I only walk as Higgins' silent shadow. I rouse myself when in the company of the Captain, faking smiles and exchanging witty small talk but it's all empty. I feel Jaimy's anxious eyes on me almost always and Higgins' concerned gaze but I only brush off their concern. _I am fine, really, only a little tired. _With the Captain and his Officers I fake my excitement well, inside my carriage I don't even bother. As we near London, and I am silent once more in the carriage, I feel I have no excitement at all anymore. I do not care to meet the King, not at all. I only want to see Jared. I want to apologize, I want him to hold me again and everything to be safe and secure like it was before.

We stop at a clean Inn the first night, only a moments ride off the main road. It is pleasant and well maintained. The men all meet in one of the great rooms to supper together and talk, but I beg their pardon and escape to my room. I tell Higgins that I am tired, which I am, and disappear. I climb into my bed and lay in the darkness, staring at the ceiling. I miss Joseph. I do not feel well. I don't know if I am nervous or anxious without him but I close my eyes and try to sleep. The day after tomorrow we arrive in London. I lay there for a time before there is a knock at my door.

"Miss?"

It is Higgins. "Come in." I say, but remain where I am. I didn't even lock my door. _Show's how much my mind is working. _

Higgins comes in with a small tray. Immediately I smell hot bread and my stomach growls, _the betrayer_. Higgins comes around my bedside and places the tray next to my face. It is a good sized chunk of fresh bread, buttered and a dish of jam, and a cup of tea. I sigh and sit up. Higgins smiles and pulls up a chair.

"May I?" He asks.

"You needn't ask Higgins." I say and nod. He sits and regards me carefully.

"I do hope you will not take offense but I do wish to speak of something with you." he says gently.

"Yes?"

"I do not know what has come between you and Captain Jared, Miss, but I would like to express my concern. Back on the ship, many of the crew expressed their concern over the Captain's unusual behaviour and you Miss..." Higgins watches me carefully.

I tear off a piece of bread and pick at it, not daring to meet Higgins eyes. "What kind of behaviour?" I ask, quietly.

"The Captain has been very short tempered since your argument. He has always been a cheerful and charming kind of man but now..." Higgins frowns. "...Mr Leroy and Smyth have been able to keep control of the crew and direct attention away from him for the most part but he is not well Miss."

I pick at the bread a moment longer before ripping off an even smaller piece from it and slipping it between my lips. It melts in my mouth. It is heavenly but I feel the tears prick my eyes. I look at Higgins and my chin begins to quiver. I cannot stop them this time.

"He said I was spoilt and self absorbed." I sob. I hide my face in my hands.

"You Miss, are a very unique woman. Allow me to be frank. You enjoy the sensation of attention, you feel valued. Every human enjoys attention _to a degree_, you at times however, extend that limit of propriety."

I sob into my hands. _Higgins believes it too_! Higgins lets me wail a moment then pats my leg.

"Come now Miss. Let's have none of that. I am not excusing the Captain's words, nor am I agreeing or refuting them. I am only saying, neither you or he are fully at fault for this disagreement. Marriage is not an easy task." He tells me. "The Captain knows he should not have spoken to you in the way he did. He is heartily repentant of his words."

I wipe my face on my nightgown and look at him. My eyes are red and puffy, not doubt I look a sight but I don't care.

"But why didn't he come back?" I sniff. "Why didn't he come to me?"

"I say this in the most respectful way Miss but, you do not make it easy for him to. When your back is up it is very hard to get around it." Higgins smiles gently. "...And the Captain, although he loves you very much, is a proud man. In time he will come to you again. He adores you."

I feel another sob coming but I manage to get this out before it comes. "And I love him."

"I know you do." he assures me.

"I just... I haven't felt myself." I confess, and wipe away my tears again.

"You are under a great deal of stress, with the long journey from the Caribbean, being only recently married and then on this journey to London to meet our Sovereign." Higgins says, handing me my tea to calm my nerves.

"... but I only want Jared. I was excited at first to meet the King but not anymore... not without him. I'd be fine if Jared was here. I'm sure I would." I say, then sip my tea.

"I am sure you would Miss, however we can only do so much." Higgins says kindly then stands. "Now, finish your tea and try to sleep. It is another big day tomorrow."

I sigh and watch him go. I feel a little better but I still miss Jared. I still wish he was here. But now, at least I know he misses me too. That makes me feel a little better.

_...but not much._


	13. Bumps in the Road

: Sorry for the delay! I have been procrastinating to an epic degree.

_**Chapter Thirteen:: Bumps in the Road**_

The following day we travel as far as Crawley and find a clean Inn on the northern side of the city, and pay for several rooms. The men, again crowd into the dinning room to eat and drink their fill but I've no appetite to drink and be merry. I allow Leroy and George to join the Officers and beg for Higgins to go too but he sticks by me and seats me before the massive fireplace in one of the back public rooms. I sit with Higgins there in a deep arm chair, and stare into the fire, holding my untouched glass of wine.

I sit there for a good while before someone else joins us. The Captain has already invited me to dinner but I've refused, there's only one other who would come to me at a time like this. I turn and look at Jaimy, standing there in his smart uniform, wine in hand and the firelight dancing on his face. I don't meet his eyes, only turn back to the fire and gaze into the flames, but I see Higgins stand out of the corner of my eye and leave. I know Jaimy sits where Higgins did moments before, I know it and I can feel my heart pain. _Why are you sitting here, with such a pitiful girl, instead of with your wife?_ I want to ask but I don't. I don't look at him either. I can't. I wish so hard it was Jared.

"Jacky?" He asks, quietly.

I stare into the fire, then into my wine, anywhere but his face. I hear him sigh and see him turn and look at the door as there's a loud burst of hearty laughter. I frown and hear music strike up somewhere in the other side of the Inn. The men are in for a good time tonight. Jaimy turns back to me, ignoring the sound of merriment for me, _a stupid obstinate, forlorn girl._

"Something's amiss Jacky." Jaimy says gently, he's leaning his arms on his knees, bent forwards towards me. I resent his kindness. It makes me feel guilty. Always one causing trouble, me, now I've gone and ruined a perfectly good marriage. I set my jaw and frown even darker. "Jacky... what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Leave me alone." I snap. He's pushed me too far.

He manages a kind smile and I hate him for it, deep down. "I don't know about that. You've not spoken two words together since you left your ship, at least none you meant."

I take a sip of my wine and look deep into the fire. "I'm anxious. You know, with the King and everything." I lie.

Jaimy shakes his head. "That's what I would have said at first but no. That's not it, you love this kind of thing. No, it's something else. Tell me."

"It's nothing." I retort strongly.

Jaimy narrows his eyes, unconsciously making me turn to him. It's the look that gets me.

"What happened?" he asks innocently.

I don't want to but I can't help it, I can't help but feel the tears spring up in my eyes, making his face blur.

"I don't know." I sob. I set my wine down and cover my face with my hands. "I don't know!"

Jaimy leaves his chair and kneels next to mine. He too abandons his glass and puts his hand on my back. He gives it a sympathetic rub then pulls it away as I remove my hands from my face.

"I love him... so much." I sob.

A muscle in Jaimy's jaw flexes but he doesn't say anything to that, he just sits with me. It's hard for him, I know that, it's hard for me too, to cry in front of him when I loved him for so long but I try not to think about that. I'm too tired.

"I never meant anythin' I said... I just... I couldn't stop myself." I look into Jaimy's face, my own twisted with pain of that memory. The words I said so quickly.

"I'm sure you didn't mean any of it Jacky..." He says kindly.

"But I haven't seen him, I haven't talked to him at all since then..." I frown and pull my knees up to my chest. I'm wearing a dress but I'm not thinking about it now. Jaimy smiles briefly and tugs at my skirt, clearly helping it cover my exposed limbs more effectively but I don't care. Jaimy then looks at my face. "...I'd go back, I'd try to talk to him but he won't speak to me."

Jaimy looks at the floor, thinking. I watch him, I'm desperate. _I need help. Jaimy tell me what to do. You were always so much better at this than me._

"Then I suppose you'll just have to wait this out." he tells me, meeting my eyes again. "...and Jacky, watch your tongue next time."

I manage a weak smile but it's gone the second it comes. I lean my head up against the back of my chair and look into the fire. Thinkin' of Jared.

"You've no idea other than that?" I ask, weakly. "I'm desperate Jaimy."

"If he doesn't want to talk, you won't be able to. You could send a letter... that's what I always did." Jaimy manages a subtle smile at that comment and I frown. I feel worse now. Tears spill over my lashes.

"Don't cry Jacky..." he says quickly. "I didn't mean to say it like that."

"But it's true, isn't it? It was always letters with us."

Jaimy smiles lightly. _He knows it's true_. "Why don't you send word for him to come to London? Stop this before it gets out of hand."

"Out of hand? It's been nearly a week since our fight. I have hardly seen him and haven't even spoken. I can't sleep without him and I don't think of anything but him and how I was so stupid to say what I did." A tear drops from my left eye, and I angrily wipe it away but soon another comes. I heave a great sigh and look at Jaimy. He looks sympathetic.

"Send for him Jacky, it'll go better for you. We can work around it so he gets here in time." He tells me, devotedly.

I frown. I do want Jared here, I want it more than anything but I don't think he'd act on any message if he was still angry. Besides when he got here I have no idea what I would say. I frown. _No. _He wouldn't come. I look at Jaimy and shake my head.

O-o-O-o-O-o-O

The next morning I wake, groggy and numbed with sleep. I lay quietly, in a pool of sunshine regretting this day, for a time staring at the ceiling then I feel an insuppressible sickening feeling crawl over me. Luckily I don't ignore it and am quick enough to leave my bed for the chamberpot, at the end of it, because as soon as I reach it I am sick.

After I retch for a good few minutes, I sit back on the floor and wipe my mouth on a towel that, luckily lays on the nearby table. _Why am I sick? _I feel like I'm back at Dovecote, retching away my hangover, thanks to that lovely Miss Howe. But I'm not and I never took any spirits last night. Suddenly there's another wave and back goes my head into the chamberpot.

After I finish, or I think I've finished, I crawl back towards my bed feeling weak. Very weak, but I suppose retchin' does that to a person, I slip back into my still warm sheets and close my eyes. Uneasy sleep claims me. Sooner than I thought though, there's a knock at my door. I moan the visitor admittance, and Higgins comes in with breakfast. He frowns and looks around, as I catch a whiff of the bread and butter and at once jump back out of bed.

"Is everything alright Miss, it smells like-" Higgins begins but it's then that I reach the chamber pot and vomit whatever poor contents of my stomach I've got left. Higgins sets down his tray quickly on the table and rushes to my side but I wave him away.

"Get rid of it." I say then cough and spit into the pot. "Take the food away."

Higgins quickly does it and returns just as I wipe my mouth and shakily stand.

"Let me help you. Are you-" he rushes to my side and helps me towards the bed.

"Have a maid come up and empty the pot for me please Higgins and bring me another. I have a feeling I'm going to be sick again before this day is out." I say weakly and climb back into bed.

"Yes Miss. But you look very ill. Did you drink spirits?" He says, fixing the covers around me. "Shall I call a doctor?"

"No." I tell him honestly. "I don't know what's wrong. ...but I'm alright, I just want to stay in bed."

Higgins nods. "I will speak with Captain Eaton. You are in no condition to travel. Try and sleep Miss. I will return shortly."

I nod weakly and close my eyes. "Thanks Higgins."

When I open my eyes again I can tell it is later in the day, perhaps even early afternoon. I blink slowly then look about the room. Higgins is sitting by the window, book in hand. I feel better that he's here. I shift under the covers, my body feeling stiff, and he looks up. He quickly sets down his book and comes to my bedside.

"How are you feeling?" he asks.

I wait a moment and think. _I feel fine_. I give my stomach a little poke and wait but nothing. I smile.

"Much better."

"Good." he says, though still a little concerned. "Now. Take this Miss." He picks up a teacup from my bedside and holds it out to me.

"What is it?" I ask cautiously, eyeing it. I don't smell anything that makes me want to head for the pot again, I suppose it's alright.

"It is tea. Plain. And if you are able to get that down you should try some toast." he tells me as I take the teacup. "It will go better for you if you get something in your stomach."

I nod and drink the tea, then shortly after I eat the toast. I have no idea what came over me this morning but within an hour I am up and much like my old self. Higgins suggests though that I remain in my room and rest, for Captain Eaton is anxious to head out to London in the morning. I nod, I agree, but still the sunshine outside calls to me. After a short while, having convinced him I am well, Higgins allows me to go out and walk. He must accompany me of course, I smile,_ I would love a walk with you dear Higgins_. He wraps me in a warm cloak and ties my bonnet on. Then we are off.

We are not out long, Higgins being such a dear man worried about my weak mortal soul and all but it lifts my spirits so just to be out of that stuffy old room. It feels like old times walking with him, getting into all manner of nonsense... _while still being a good girl of course_. He bears my antics, however muted today, very well and even relents to joining me in a little amusement with a stuffy businessman we run into on the street. It don't last long though, for Higgins soon brings me back to my room and leaves me to rest while he fixes me something to eat, then it's off to bed with me. I'd love to head out and earn a little coin at one of the taverns we passed today but I refuse myself the temptation. _No. I must be good_. I eat what Higgins brings me then slip into bed and blow out the lamp. Only then do my idle thoughts begin to swim in my mind.

I think about Joseph back on the ship. I wonder what he's doing right now? Is he missin' me? _I hope you are_. I whisper to the darkness. '_Cause I'm missin' you_. I wish our fight was over and he would come back to me again, or that I could go to him, but Captain Eaton would surely kill me if I attempted it. No, I have to stay where I am and meet the King though I've no pleasure in it now. I pull my knees to my chest and close my eyes, murmuring a prayer for my friends all over the world, for my dear friends with me now and my lovin' husband, who I hope is safe and warm, thinkn' fondly of me. _I hope you know that I'm missin' you Jared_. It's then, that I take a breath and wait for sleep to claim me.

The next morning I wake, in this unfamiliar bed, my first thoughts being those last thoughts in my mind as I feel asleep. I turn over and look at the empty spot beside me and I feel the Black Cloud building on the horizon. I turn back over onto my side and burry my face in my pillow, pull the blankets over my head and close my eyes tight. I don't want to leave this bed. I lay like this for a while, thinking about my faults and quietly sobbin' into my pillow, when I realize I don't feel too well either. I roll over onto my back and wipe away my tears, my mind only on my stomach now. I wait. It don't feel as bad as it did yesterday but I still feel ill. I didn't eat nothin' bad yesterday that would have made me ill. Maybe it's just my anxiety over Jared. I lay still and think once more about Jared. I wish _so much _that he was here.

Although I feel ill I don't say much about it. I'm thinkin' it'll soon pass and I manage to choke down some tea and toast, enough to satisfy Higgins, and dress. Captain Eaton wants no more delays. We are off as soon as the coaches are loaded and the horses strapped in. Then we are off to London.

The travelling this day, is pleasant enough. It being country I know, in and around London. The villages soon become closer together and larger. People watch us as we pass and I wave at any children brave enough to venture a wave. I even toss a coin or two at the poorest of them. This gets me smiles all around for my kind nature. Although Higgins and George do nothing more than smile at it, Jaimy soon tosses a few coins himself. I beam across at him, pleased by this and he too seems to feel the warmth of knowing he's done something to give a little joy to a perfect stranger.

"It feels odd to know, even so close to London that people still must endure such hard lives." He says then looks across at me and quickly smiles in apology. He has forgotten he is speaking to a _once guttersnipe _of London. "I am sorry Jacky. I had forgot."

"No need. Once in London, I hope to visit those with such hard lives. Now that I am of means I hope to help some of them. It's not an easy life." I reply, innocently. I am no ashamed of my past, but I know for sure that not many make it out of those streets alive or with much dignity left. _It's a very hard life Jaimy._

"You have already done so much." Jaimy remarks. "Your Home, I hear, is thriving. Many, even as far as Gracechurch Street and Brattle Lane, have heard about your plans and have remarked quite kindly about it. In her last letter, Wilhelmina even expressed a desire to be of help to your enterprise."

I stare at Jaimy in surprise. He has not yet mentioned his wife but it's not that which surprises me, it is his wife. Surely a woman of such breeding would not accept nor relish the idea of being of any help to the girl her husband once loved. A girl such as me. Many women, even who never met Jaimy nor heard of him, would gladly squash my meaningless existence.

Jaimy clearly sees my distressing surprise, his smile wanes and he looks at me with a mixture of shame and anxiety. "I'm sorry Jacky, should I not have-"

"No. Not at all." I look to Higgins at my side, watching me most carefully but there is sympathy in his gaze. "No, we would gladly welcome any help if it was offered in kindness. We don't want to impose."

"Not at all, Jacky. Wilhelmina has the purest of intentions I can assure you." Jaimy replies with a proud smile.

I cannot help but smile at him in return. "I assume you will be quick to return home once we reach London?" I ask, kindly.

"Yes. Captain Eaton has allowed me to lodge at my home on Drayer Street during our layover in London, but I am to return to carry out my duties during the day's activities." he replies honestly. "I am anxious to return home."

"I am sure you are." I reply, my mind jumping to Joseph once more. I let my heart sink a moment thinking of him, then force a smile for Jaimy's benefit. "Maybe, you'll bring Mrs. Fletcher to the Inn one evening so we can all dine together?"

Jaimy's face lights up at the thought of it. "I would be happy to."

"Good. What about tomorrow evening?" I ask, I glance once more over to Higgins. He beams down at me proudly and I feel my heart rise. He nods in agreement. _I swear, Higgins could produce a feast in thirty minutes_ if necessary. I silently thank Higgins and turn back to Jaimy. He agrees.

_Very good._

That night, we stop at the Royal Consort Inn, which is surprisingly several blocks from where I used to stand as a kid a beg for coin, I am almost delighted to notice. _So small is this fair city_. After we unload our belongings from the coach Higgins selects me a clean room and drags me down to dinner with the rest of our party. He says I should, seeing as tonight's dinner is a kind of celebration and preparation for what is to come tomorrow. I agree, I am feeling well enough now, so I dress in my beautiful maroon empire waist dress and have Higgins curl my hair, which he piles up at the back of my head. I look at myself in the mirror in my room before I leave and look at my jewelry box. There's lots of good stuff in it, things I've either bought or been given over the years, but I don't wear anything but my lovely emerald ring. I smile sadly at the mirror, missing Jared, and then turn and leave. Everyone is waiting.

Dinner is a grand affair indeed, I'm glad I've come the moment I step into the room and everyone turns and looks at me. Captain Eaton smiles merrily and reaches for my hand to escort me in and dear George starts the party into a modest cheering welcome. I hood my eyes and smile innocently at the group._ I do so love attention. _

"You look lovely my dear." The Captain tells me kindly, his face is already flushed with drink but I don't mind, he looks sincere regardless. I smile sweetly at him in thanks and take his arm.

Now that I am here, it seems dinner will be served, the Captain seats me at the table on his right. He of course is sitting at the head with Jaimy at his left. I am surprised to see Jaimy sitting across from me actually, I would have expected him to be off with his wife. _After dinner_. He tells me. _The Captain's cajoled me into an entertaining evening_,_ I could not refuse_. I smile. So much like Captain Eaton from what I've seen so far, he is a jolly man who his men admire and respect. I see no disagreeable qualities in him.

Next to Jaimy is Lieutenant Redcliff and then Leroy, then Major Kennit, an elder Marine. Next to me is George and Private Walker, at the end of the table there is one of the Captain's Midshipmen who has been chosen to accompany the party, he is a young fresh faced man who seems delighted to be included in this trip. His name is Carter and he sits next to Higgins, at the foot of the table. I am glad he has agreed to join us. I give him a smile as I drape my napkin over my lap, turning to the Captain as he asks me of my latest exploits.

"Were they merely mercenary or sainted deeds my dear?" He chuckles, as the butler fills his glass with smooth red wine.

I smile and nod for my glass to be filled. _Half way if you please. Thank you_.

"Less mercenary yet I am not a saint in the least. I try and be good but I fear the good Lord enjoys to give me more than a little trouble for my wrongs." I confess.

The Captain chuckles and digs into the food placed before him with a refined gusto.

"I have read the novels of your exploits.." he says. _Oh Lord, not you too_. "...And I find them to be quite entertaining. Though I do find it hard to believe such things are fact."

I look across at Jaimy and he gives a small chuckle. _Oh indeed they are true, are they not Jaimy_? I put on a smile and look back at the Captain as I pick up my glass.

"I am sorry to inform you Captain but the majority of the contents are indeed fact. You see the novelest, Amy Trevelyan as she is known, is a very dear friend of mine. She has gotten much of her information from my own lips, though... she has chronicled it to her liking and as befits her breeding. Sir"

There the Captain laughs, loudly causing me to give a little jump, but all the men around the table utter a little chuckle and watch with amusement. This appears not to be out of place. I smile.

"You my dear are a walking contradiction. You sit before me as a young lady, the pinnacle of beauty and good breeding, and yet you cavort with ruffians, Captain a ship and battle pirates. I do not believe one word of it. No indeed." He grins, taking a mouthful of wine.

I smile. "Whether you believe it or not, I cannot persuade you but it is all true. I do not regret a day of it, though I do regret the days of His Majesty's ill favour. I am glad to be here now, I hope to make it all right." I stand then and raise my glass. "The King of England!"

The sound of scraping chair legs fill the room, as everyone stands and raises their glasses. "The King of England!" They bellow then knock back their wine. I smile again and we all resume our seats, dive into dinner and enjoy the joyous company of new friends.

...and some old ones too.


	14. Leading Lady

_**Chapter Fourteen:: Leading Lady**_

Today's the day I meet King George! I wake in high spirits. I know I haven't been feeling very excited about this trip but today, being the day I meet him at last, I find myself very excited. _Call me shallow and self-centred, fine, I won't refuse it_. I leap from my bed and skip about in my bare feet as Higgins comes in with my breakfast. I must look like a child I know but I can't help it.

"Please Miss, you must eat. Today is going to be a long and trying day." Higgins puts my breakfast on the table and tries to herd me to towards it but I laugh and skip about him.

"The King Higgins!" I cry triumphantly grabbing his hands to dance with me but he shakes his head.

"Indeed Miss, but please, sit."

I smile and stop, reach up and kiss his cheek. "For you. I will."

"Thank you Miss." He sighs and pulls out my chair.

I sit my pretty little bottom in it and he pulls off the lid. It looks glorious. Porridge, bacon, coffee, a hot biscuit with jam and sugar on the side. I inhale all the glorious smells and slowly frown. I can feel the bilge rising in my throat.

"Oh no." I put my hand on the edge of the table and violently push myself away, scrambling over to the bed and, once more, my dear little chamberpot. _Oh no!_

"Is everything alright?" Higgins asks with high concern.

I try to turn to look at him and put him at ease but I can't, I only have time to put my head in the pot and vomit. Tears stream down my cheeks. _I hate this feeling_. I don't lift my head though, because I can't. In a minute it's over long enough for me to spit and turn to Higgins, who appears at my side with a towel.

"Thank you Higgins." I say and weakly wipe my mouth. "Could you take away the food please?"

Higgins nods. "I think it best that I call a doctor now Miss, this is not normal."

I shake my head. There's no need. I know what's wrong now.

"Please give Captain Eaton my apologies, I will be alright later, please ask him to postpone our visit to the palace if he can."I tell him.

"Very good Miss. I will arrange it for tomorrow but I do not know if I can postpone it any longer than that." Higgins tells me softly, I nod. "I will bring you something to settle your stomach."

"Thank you Higgins. Don't worry, I'll be alright to go tomorrow." I say and feel another wave of sickness coming. _Oh horrible sickness_. Higgins stands, a little slowly and heads for the door. I swallow hard and make myself comfortable on the floor. _I'll be here for a while. _

"And Higgins." I stop him at the door. He looks back at me, my breakfast tray in hand.

"Yes Miss?" he asks when I hesitate.

I swallow hard again and rock back and forth a little. _I hate being sick_.

"Write to Jared."

There's tears in my eyes now. Higgins chest rises and falls at he looks at me, looking so weak and little on the floor. I think he understands.

"I will send word directly." he tells me.

_Thank you_. He leaves and my head goes back into the pot. _Why do I deserve such dark hell as this? _

__ . _ . __

I am feeling better later that day and dress in a simple gown and go down and meet Higgins in the kitchen. How he's slipped his way into this Inn's staff I do not know but it's there I find him, paper in hand examining what there is for dinner. I smile and greet both he and the young maids scurrying around busily. I do not see a cook, but I know she will be around somewhere. _No matter_.

"So Higgins, what's the word?" I ask, setting myself down on a stool before Higgins.

He looks at me with a little concern but I give him a foxy grin, which he can't ignore. I may not be feeling like my normal self but I've been worse. He gives a little sigh and turns to his paper.

"Brace of pheasant with roast vegetables and merlot. Roast lamb with cranberry glaze and chardonnays. And of course fresh bread and spirits."

_Mmmm_. I nod. _It sounds wonderful. _A true feast. I've no doubt that even Mrs. Fletcher of Drayer Street would approve of the show we're putting on tonight. I watch Higgins, mull about the kitchen, only a few minutes more before I leave him be and head out. I plan on returning to my room to rest and wait for dinner, it isn't an exciting plan for the day at all but I must do something more than stand in the hall.

I leave the kitchen and cross the hall, past the dinning rooms and parlours at the front of the house. A few from my party are in these rooms but many have family here in London, like Jaimy, and are with them today. They will return for me, Higgins and my men in the morning. I sigh and head up the stairs alone, going over the plans for tomorrow in my head. Higgins and I have selected my gown and have a gift for the King laid out, and my dictation of my life. I don't know how that will be received but if he asks it's all there. Written out in Higgins' clear black script.

Going into my room at the end of the hall, I close the door behind me and slip off my little slippers. I've not gotten used to them yet. I wiggle my toes and cross the room to the window, I have looking out over the street, and watch the people below mull about on the streets. I like the pace of life here, it's busyness, but I miss the ship and it's pace. It is home after all and with the smell of the clean ocean air and limitless horizon, it is heaven on earth. I cannot wait to get back to it.

Sighing once more I turn for my bed, wanting nothing more than to slip under it's covers for a few hours of lonely sleep, when my heart leaps into my throat.

There on my bed, lays Jared with his hands behind his head and that God-awful handsome smile on his face. He holds my gaze and waits for me to make a move. But all I do is tremble, not able to do anything but stand helplessly as tears spring into my eyes.

Joseph's lips twitch but he keeps smiling, he slips his hands out from behind his head and sits forward. I rush to him and wrap my arms around his neck, crushing him as tightly as I can and sobbing into his shoulder. I can't help it. _He's here_! I feel Jared give a little chuckle and hug me back, tightly, kissing my hair. I don't want to move from his embrace, I'm so glad to see him, but he pulls back freeing my face from his shoulder and meets my lips with his._ Hmm_. I kiss him back quickly, starving for him. It's been so long since he's kissed me. Jared, smiles against my lips and slides his hand behind my neck, slipping his tongue between my teeth. I do the same and in a moment I'm forced to pull away, gasping.

My chest heaves as I try and catch my breath but as he smiles down at me, still holding me tight. _Oh Jared, what happened between us? Why were we so stupid? It's been so long_. I want to sob again but I content myself with silent tears. I don't want to frighten him and tears are more than enough to do that at this point.

"I'm sorry." I finally whisper, my voice on the edge of a whimper. "I am so sorry, for all that I said and did. I've missed you so much. I was so stupid. It wasn't my place... I... I.."

Jared smiles down at me, in a cocky sort of way, but he tenderly wipes each of my tears away and whispers "So am I Puss. Forgive me?"

I grip his strong arm and sniff back my tears. Puss _never sounded so good_. "You already are. Always."

Jared smiles and meets my lips with his once more. Words cannot say how much I've missed this. I hug him tight and he pulls me onto his lap, not once taking his lips off mine. I have missed him... _so much_.

__ . _ . __

Later, after Jared and I have properly welcomed each other and made up, I lay next to him and watch him on the edge of sleep. He looks tired. Dark circles shadow his eyes and frown lines crease his face. I trace my finger across his chest and shift my cheek on his shoulder. Apparently this time has been hard on us both. But now, it feels wonderful to be back together again. I can't stop my smile from my lips. I glance across him to the window, the sun is slowly dipping across the sky in a way that tells me that the afternoon is lagging. I know soon Higgins will come to help me ready for dinner. I sigh and move my body even closer to Jared's. _I don't want to move ever again. _

Barely five minutes pass before there's a knock at the door, one I know to be Higgins. Instead of giving him the shock of finding me in the throws of love with my husband, who shouldn't even be here, I sit up.

"I'm coming!" I call to the door then lean over Jared, who's about to get up, and I kiss him then smile. "Don't move."

He smirks, grabs me before I dart off and pulls me in for another kiss but it must be short, I need to get the door. When I do manage to scoot out of his grasp, I yank a sheet off the bed as I go and skip over to the door as I wrap myself in the sheet, looking very much the Greek Goddess I wish I were, with my tousled hair and garb. I am not nearly as Goddess like as they are. Anyway, _whether I am or not_, I pull the door open a few inches and poke my head out.

"Hello Higgins." I beam.

Higgins looks me up and down. He doesn't say a word, but he looks concerned. That much is clear.

"Jared's here!" I exult. I can't wait another moment. "We've made up, the world is good again!"

Higgins smiles and rolls his eyes but I know he is happy for us.

"Shall I give you a few minutes to dress?" he asks.

"When's the _last _possible moment before we should be downstairs?"

"The Fletchers will be there for six o'clock."

"And it's now...?" I duck m head back into the room and look at the clock in the corner. I grin and poke my head back out at Higgins. "We'll be down in an hour."

Higgins opens his mouth to protest but I pout.

"Pleeeese?" I beg and he heaves a great sigh. _Good man._ "Jared will help me dress." I offer innocently, silently thanking him. "You needn't trouble yourself to return again, you can give all your attention to dinner."

"I've no doubt of that." He says.

I pretend to be hurt but I can't help but laugh. I am so very happy.

"Very well Miss. One hour. Not a moment later."

"Not one." I promise and he goes, shaking his head.

I smile. Pop back into my room and lock the door then dash back to our bed am about to cast off my sheet when I smile at Jared and let it drape over my skinny self like those saucy Goddess statues in Rome, barely fit to be seen the scandalous ladies. _I've no doubt they were thought up and created by men, honestly. _Jared smirks at me and pulls me down to him. He ain't the kind to sit and watch. As he leans over me and kisses me as he ought to, I smile. It's never tasted so good. He pulls back and looks down at me intensely.

"What's this about dinner?" he asks.

A turn my head a little, getting comfortable and smile at him.

"Dinner with the Fletchers." I tell him. "Jaimy and his wife are coming."

Jared scoffs. "Why?"

"_Because _... I thought it was polite and apparently she wants to lend a hand at my Home for orphans here in London. So be nice." I reply, poking him in the chest.

Jared doesn't say anything, but he doesn't look very enthusiastic.

"They'll be here at six." I tell him, raising my brows a little. His eyes meet mine immediately and hold them steadily. "We have an hour."

Jared smirks and leans over me, kissing my neck several times. I feel my belly grow warm and my toes curl.

"Hmm. What do you suppose we do?" He asks, pulling back. He sees the look on my face. "You're alright with it?" he asks.

I give him my foxy grin and Jared smiles and traces the powder burns next to my eye. For a moment I think he's going to remark about them but he doesn't. He was there. One of our stories that one was. No instead he just looks down at me a long moment, keeping me fixed in his gaze before he releases a little smirk and opens his mouth.

"It was hell Puss." He says. "...without you."

Tears spring into my eyes unbidden. I known now that he hated it as much as I did. It was hell here too, without him. I know there was no excuse for our fight, for what I said to make him so angry but I remember something. Something I've wanted to share. The reason I'd had Higgins write that letter to him on the ship, one he clearly did not get. I take his hand, kiss his palm and then lay it on my belly. I try and think of some witty thing to say, _drama and all _but I can't think of anyway to say it but by laying my hand over his on my belly and waiting. Jared doesn't seem to think anything of it. _Hmm_. I smile at him gently and tell him the truth.

"It was hell here too. I was angry , with you _and _myself for hurting you like I did. All the things I said. I didn't know what was wrong with me at the time and then I was stubborn and wouldn't let myself forgive you until I left the ship. Then I couldn't get you out of my mind. I'm sorry."

"Puss, you-"

"No." I stop him gently. "No. You should know why I've been like this."

I smile and then push my belly out as much as I can then hold it there and wait, my hand still on his. I don't take my eyes from his, I only raise my brows slightly and smile, tears building again. Jared's smile wanes. He looks down at me and my little belly then suddenly back to my face. He opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes. Mt smile brightens as a tear rolls out the corner of my eye.

"It's true." I whisper. "We're gonna have a baby."

"Are you sure?" He asks, his voice quiet. He's shocked but I can see a smile slowly working it's way to the surface.

"I've been sick for three days now. Only in the morning, _exactly _like Mairead on our way to Australia." My chest rises and falls with pride as Jared's smile breaks out on his face. "I am going to have a baby Jared. Your baby."

Jared sits back and shakes his head, a full grin on his lips. I sit up too and pull the sheets to my chest, my skin rippling with excitement. He looks and me and grins then takes hold of my chin roughly and kissing me full on. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him back. When we pull away he looks down at me and then to my eyes.

"So what's this mean Puss?" he asks, his eyes hot but yet still gentle. "Can we still...?"

I laugh and lay back down on my back, gazing up at him. "We'd better, because before we know it I'll be the size of a Bark and not that appealing, trust me."

Jared grins. He doesn't mind. We make good use of this hour before dinner. Me and my husband... and our little unborn babe along for the ride, however crude that sounds. _Oh I do hope this isn't some mortal sin. ...Oh well, I'll pray for our souls later_.


	15. Highborn and Lowborn

_**Chapter Fifteen:: Highborn and Lowborn**_

Now dressed, me in my navy gown and Jared in his all-black Captain's outfit, making him look like the perfect rogue, we go down to the front hall. I don't know much about Jaimy's wife except from what I've seen from afar once before, so I'm a little nervous. From what I saw, she's a decent looking girl with small delicate features, no Helen of Troy or Juliet but she's got better looks than me. I'm not ashamed to say it. He's a dark brunette and as they enter, not moments behind us, I can tell right off she's very well bred. She looks pleasant, a little shy, but she's got the Look on her face.

_Have you been through Mistress Primm's by any chance Mrs. Fletcher? You do have the look of one of her girls if I do say so. _

I turn to Jared, so confidently standing next to me. He flashes me a husbandly smile and motions me forward. I smile and approach our guests as the same time Jaimy leads his dear little wife towards us. As if planned, she and I drop to a curtsey at the same moment and can't help but smile amusingly at each other. _This a good sign or a bad one? ...I'm going with good. _As she smiles at me, two dimples appear in her perfect cheeks, making me heartily jealous of her childlike beauty but I can't stay mad at her long. She's got that kind of face, like a perfect child. I shake any thoughts of resentment from my mind and beam at her.

"I am so glad to meet you Mrs. Fletcher." I say before Jaimy can even open his mouth to introduce us. "Jaimy has told me so much about you."

I lay on the charm nice and thick, _just in case_, but she's a good sport and just beams back at me. She actually looks younger and kinder than she did all that time ago when I first saw them together. Then again I hated her then... she could have been the most beautiful woman in the world and I would have found a flaw.

"And I you Miss Faber, after hearing about all of your adventures from James, I have been most anxious to meet you. You are quite a legend, in more circles than one. ... but please, do call me Wilhelmina. Mrs. Fletcher reminds me too much of dear James' mother." She offers Jaimy an innocent smile then looks back at me and doesn't quite whisper. "I'm afraid she doesn't like me very much."

_Ah, not you too_. _I know too well what it's like girl_. I have to smile. _Seems the old dragon doesn't like any female, regardless of her breeding, around her darling James_.

"I will call you by Wilhelmina, but only if you address me as Jacky. Please." She nods and I slide my hand affectionately through Jared's arm. "I would like to introduce my husband, Captain Jared. Jared... Wilhelmina." I finger the fabric of his shirt sleeve and smile at our guests.

Jared nods gentlemanly as Wilhelmina curtsies beautifully once more. _Pleased to meet you Captain_. Jaimy nods his head and offers his hand, which I am glad to see Jared take and shake firmly. He has no love for Jaimy, nor does Jaimy have much for him, but they handles the situation well.

"Jared. ..._Captain _is it now?" Jaimy smiles kindly, he knows how much I've missed Jared.

Jared only grins, while I answer. "Yes. Jared is Captain of the _Lorelei __Lee_."

"My congratulations. I am sure none deserved it more." Jaimy looks on approvingly. "And I am glad to see you here, I had wondered if you would come."

Jared nods in return, choosing not to reply on the subject, instead he only says "Fletcher. Mrs. Fletcher. We are glad to have you as our guests."

His words may sound false but his smile is genuine. It's lopsided, in a cocky sort of way, but it's true. I give his arm a squeeze and motion our guests towards the table as Higgins appears from the kitchen. I smile at Higgins and slip my hand from Jared's arm to place it on Higgins' briefly.

"And may I introduce Mr. Higgins, Wilhelmina. Jaimy I am sure you remember Higgins?"

_Pleased to make your acquaintance sir_. Wilhelmina bobs and Jaimy shakes his hand. _Well met Higgins_. _And you Mr. Fletcher. Mrs. Fletcher_. I watch the exchange from my place next to Jared. It's a pleasant but short exchange, as Higgins does not want to disturb our little dinner party but truly sincere. Then, disappears through the door once again, as Jared pulls out my chair.

"Higgins has prepared quite a feast for us, so I hope you are hungry. ...Please sit." I motion to the chairs opposite Jared and I as I plunk myself down. I know it's not customary for a husband and wife to sit next to her other at dinner in many circles but I thought it best under these circumstances. I cut my eyes to Wilhelmina and am pleased to find her pleasantly surprised. Jaimy pulls out her chair and then after she sits so does Jared and Jaimy.

Higgins returns then, followed by a collection of young maids bearing trays of steaming food. Higgins' gives them quick hand signals as to what they should do then picks up a fine bottle and fills each glass. Mine, he fills only a little. I cut my eyes to his and say a silent _thank you_. He smiles and tops of my glass with water. I look at our guests, a little wary to see if they've noticed but they have not. Wilhelmina is thanking a young maid and Jaimy's sampling the wine. I give a little sigh and turn to Jared, who grinning stealthily at me. I smile back at him and then turn to the spread before us. _Mmm_. Everything is gloriously laid out and eaten.

"James tells me you are all to meet his Majesty tomorrow. That will be a needed diversion I am sure, seeing as how the Princess has been ill." Wilhelmina says amidst dinner, smiling proudly at Jaimy in such a way that I feel a stab of jealousy.

Not that I wish it were I sitting next to Jaimy being all cozy but the smile he gives her reminds me of old times being snugged up with him in our hammock aboard the _HMS Dolphin_. I feel that jealousy, that is, until I hear Jared's voice.

"Aye. He seems to have taken a fancy to becoming acquainted with Puss here." Jared says, looking at me with a charming grin, as I've given no answer in what I now realize to be a very long few minutes.

I was lost in thought. I smile and rest my hand on his leg affectionately, as I turn my eyes to Mrs. Fletcher. She looks at me with a delicate smile but I know her thoughts, though she doesn't voice them. After all it ain't polite society to inquire but I oblige her.

"Jared calls me Puss. It's a pet name of sorts. You see, he bequeathed me the title _Puss in Boots _during our time serving together some years ago aboard the _HMS Wolverine_..." I smile lightly, not daring to even look at Jaimy. "...and well... it's rather stuck."

Wilhelmina smiles at me and then Jared. I don't care if we seem improper or too open in our life for the likes of society. We are happy. I look at Jared and smile. We are _very _happy.

"That is charming. Like the tale of the frisky feline in the children's fables." Wilhelmina smiles and I smile, rather astounded, at her.

Jared grins and raises his glass to her. Finally pleased with the topic of conversation. "And a frisky one she is. Has she mentioned-"

"Jared." I cut him off, my eyes cautioning him silently.

Jared only grins and knocks back his wine before slipping his arm around the back of my chair. He turns his eyes back to the Fletchers, as do I. Jaimy's got a tight little smile on his face but Wilhelmina is smiling beautifully with a light wash of pink on her cheeks.

"I beg your pardon. Seems the tale isn't fit for delicate company." Jared grins and draws a small circle on the back of my neck with his finger. "Puss is always reminding me about refined company. We don't get much of that where we're from."

I smile and cut my eyes across to him but his eyes are still on the Fletchers.

"No need to apologize." Jaimy responds.

"Indeed. Every marriage and romance should be one shrouded in it's own mystery and passion." Wilhelmina replies, adding to his husbands comment. I smile at her and know for certain they must be holding hands under the table, and for some reason it doesn't hurt me.

I pick up my glass. "To marriage and those passions."

_To marriage and passions _they echo and knock back their drinks. It is indeed a jolly sort of mismatched dinner party. It does though have a point, one I've nearly forgotten save Jaimy remind me.

"I took Wilhelmina by your Home on the way here Jacky and she throughly seemed delighted with it." Jaimy says, bringing me back to the present. I slide a small chunk of bread between my lips and nod as she smiles brightly and launches onto the subject without any further prompting.

"Oh indeed Mrs... _Jacky_. It is a darling thing you are doing, and with such a modest and noble heart." She praises. "We did not have the chance to tour it fully but I do hope that perhaps... if you have the time you will show it to me?"

"I would love to. I do not know how much time I will be afforded here though. We must return to the coast directly after our meeting with the King, you see, there are certain individuals who I would not like to see again." I confess, she nods in understanding but I can see her face fall a little. "I am sure my grandfather, Vicar Alsop, would be delighted to show you around."

She nods. "We arrived at an inconvenient time but he invited us back next week. A few children are sick it would seem."

I frown. I did not known this. I turn to Jared, concerned. _Should we do something? Send additional funds_? He smiles lightly and pats my thigh. _No need to worry, we'll look into it. _I heave a little sigh and turn back to Wilhelmina.

"There is something else I would like to speak to you about however." She says and then looks at Jaimy. He smiles proudly at her and she blushes.

"Yes?" I ask, my brow furrowing.

She hesitates but Jaimy turns to me. "Wilhelmina and I _both _would like to know if we could be of any assistance to you and your Home for Little Wanders."

I am shocked. Truly. I stammer. "I don't understand."

"Well, I am soon to be applying for my Captaincy and should I be accepted..."

"Which you will." Wilhelmina beams.

He smiles at her gratefully and looks back at me. "...should I be accepted we will be in a very good situation. At present we have a comfortable living but we long to be of some _use _in the world."

I feel Jared stiffen slightly and I can imagine what he's thinking. _What the hell is he getting at? Why the hell would he care about anything not his own?_

"Jaimy, I..." I don't have any words, I don't think I understand either. "I would like to help you with this but as it is, the Home is still quite small and with the few we already have working there I'm afraid there would be nothing for you."

Jaimy smiles. "The McConnaugheys and your friends from the voyage to Australia... yes. We saw them today actually. They were... a little short. It was good to see them well, though."

_Damn. I'm sorry Jaimy_. I am so hard on my friends sometimes. He shakes his head. _Do not worry, no offense taken_.

"You needn't worry. As much as I would like to help I could not give of myself. My life is at sea and it's there I belong." Jaimy replies.

"Then I do not understand." I reply.

"Money." Jared says suddenly. Everyone turns to him. "That's it, isn't it?"

Jaimy nods and Wilhelmina smiles charmingly, not at all hurt by his curt tone.

"James and I would like to give funds for your Home, perhaps to help it grow and take in more children. I would also, though, like to give of myself in any way I could, should you ever need another willing hand."

I hold my breath for a moment, thinking. The Home could use some attention. I have neglected it of late and I will be busy with my own family very soon. I look at Jared for advice. _Beats me, Puss. It's your venture, this Home_.

"I truly admire what you are doing Jacky." Wilhelmina says, bringing my eyes back to hers. "You may not know it but there could very well be more who would like to lend their support. To act as benefactors as it were to your orphans. Yes, you needn't be surprised. This has been long needed in London and I would like be of some help to you... for the sake of the children if not your own."

I smile. I do. I am touched she would be interested in us orphans, her being a rich nob through and through. I take a breath and hold it in my chest.

"I would gladly accept the help but I do not know for what. I will have to confer with my grandfather so as to find out what we lack." I reply. In honest I don't know what to do. I would like to speak to Higgins about this, and Jared as well.

"That is all I ask." She tells me kindly. "I have skills, should you want to know them, that may be of some use."

I smile and nod. We will discuss them should she be needed, but until then the conversation moves back to tomorrows activities. Jaimy gives Jared and I a brief summary of what is to happen, what is required of us and... delicately suggests what manners will be required. I hear Jared snort at Jaimy's turn of phrase and smile. _My rogue of a husband_. It would be a good thing not to mention his actions on the past. I am sure the King knows of his following me in my command and light piracy acts but there is a few certain accounts of his piratical greed and waning respect for authority that he needn't know of.

I slid my hand back onto his thigh and feel his hand cover it, I smile but my eyes are on Jaimy and Wilhelmina. It is apparent she has met the King before, as she gives me some tips for tomorrow's meeting, and a quick summary of the recent events at the Palace.

We talk for a long while before Higgins comes and collects all the dishes. He asks if we would like to retire to one of the front parlours. We all exchange glances, _sounds good_, and stand. We all head into one of the cozier rooms as Higgins appears with a tray with glasses and a dark bottle. Wilhelmina and I sit on a sofa by the fire as Jared and Jaimy receive their glasses from Higgins across the room.

I stare into the fire, my hands on my lap, and think over dinner. It was a success I think, so far. We talked of much, of past adventures, or ones upcoming and of general nonsense in and around London. There were a few things we did not speak of, however, and that was the past of Jaimy and I, and Jared and my news. There is no need for them to know of it, besides I want it to be something special between Jared and I for a little while, or at least just between us and family. And as far as Jaimy and I are concerned, it would be best if she didn't know of her husband and another woman. _Or so I believe._

Wilhelmina brings me back to the present but lightly putting her hand on my arm. I turn to her and find her smiling at me. I smile back and wait for her to speak. She's a rather good companion, bright and chatty. I liked her right off because she wasn't like those snooty ladies I've come into contact with time and time again. She's different, not nose-in-the-book different like Amy or lusty like Polly but real... just real genuine for the highborn kind.

"I've wanted to tell you something all evening..." she tells me quietly. "...but I was unsure if I should, considering..." she looks vaguely over her shoulder at the men talking with Higgins.

I furrow my brow and inch closer. _What you wanna say they wont hear? _She turns to me and then looks down in her lap, even in the blaze of the fire I can see her blush. I pat her hand on my arm.

"What is it?"

"I do not want you to think me presumptions... and James will most certainly kill me if he knew I was asking this but... I need to know... are you very angry with me?" She asks, anxiously meeting my eyes. "For taking him from you?"

My chest rises and falls rapidly for a long moment, as I can feel my muscles pulsing with a sickening fear, which is making my neck flare red. I know it is but all I'm thinkin' now is_ she does know_!_ How the hell does she know?_

"I can see you love your husband dearly, and I don't doubt that you are very happy how things lie now, but I would be so much more at ease if I knew you were not secretly angry with me." She says then, urgently. "James has great affection for you and it is no wonder, you are an extraordinary woman with such an exciting past. He has told me much about you and I would, so very much, like to be a friend to you but..."

"Wilhelmina." I pat her hand, a little tired of her urgent tone. I gulp down my anxious butterflies. "Don't worry. I'm not angry. I was, honestly, I was _very _angry when I first saw you both a year ago but I'm not now. I haven't seen Jaimy so happy in a long time. So I thank you."

Wilhelmina exhales, apparently she had been holding her breath, then glances back at the men deep in conversation and smiles with quiet pleasure.

"Thank you, that means a lot to me."

I smile again and too, look at the men talking at the back of the room. We sit this way for a time, quietly listening to the murmur of voices before she calls my attention back.

"And what of you?" she asks, causing me to raise my brow in question. "What of you and your husband... if I may ask?"

I can't help but flash a smile. I look at Jared and he catches me looking, and flashes me a grin then goes back to talking with the men, before they even notice. I turn back to Wilhelmina, my stomach full of warm and fuzzy butterflies. She smiles at me, knowingly.

"He is _very _handsome." she offers.

"Aye." I reply and look of into the fire. "He is very good to me. Not many men would want to put up with such a willful, crude girl like me but he bares it all."

"He loves you."

I smirk and nod. "Yes I suppose he does, but still. I wonder why sometimes." I confess. "I hope you do not judge me too harshly but I have known many handsome males in my adventures, all wanting a certain something- which I didn't oblige them but... through it all Jared stuck around. Always was there when I needed someone the most, no matter how far he had to come or thing he had to do to get there."

Wilhelmina smiles at me, delicately. "Do you believe in soul mates Jacky?"

I snort. "I don't know if I can, it sounds a little childish to me."I tell her honestly. "Besides that's not me and Jared. We may be alike in many ways but we fight like cats in sack. I wonder why he puts up with me at all midst it all."

"Passion works both ways." She tells me.

I look at her and then my lap, hiding my smile. I put my hand on my stomach and by will, feel the life inside me. _Yes, passion works both ways, I suppose_. I turn back to her and smile. I am glad she is who she is. She smiles and pats my hand.

"I do hope we have more time together, during your short stay." she confesses.

I nod. "Me too."

All in all the evening is a success. Both Jaimy and Wilhelmina appear to enjoy themselves and stay late into the evening.

Now, dinner over and our guests gone, Jared and I are snugged up in our big bed in my room. After our guests left, Jared and I called Higgins to us in one of the front rooms and talked for a short while about tomorrow and also the possibility of Mrs. Fletcher being of some use to us.

_Yes, we are a very practical and snobby bunch but that's the way_. Jared sat with me upon a sofa, sipping rum, while Higgins drank his own across from us on another sofa. It was a cozy affair. It was decided that, once our visit is through with the King, Higgins will make inquires at the Home if another hand is needed, while Jared and I visit the McConnaughey's. I am anxious to see Mairead again and Jared needs some relaxation with a good drinking companion. But first, _the King._ I smile and snuggle my face deeper into the crook of Jared's neck. _Goodnight husband_. Jared pulls me in closer as I fall asleep, warm and content, in the arms of the man I love.


	16. That November Day

_**Chapter Sixteen:: That November Day**_

I have no idea what's going on but shouting rouses me from my sleep. I moan, it's still dark. For a minute I think I'm back on the _Lorelei Lee _but the shouting isn't sailors, it's a clamour downstairs. I roll over and reach for Jared but he's not there, instantly I push myself up onto my elbows and look around, quickly finding him pulling on his trousers in the dark.

"What's going on?" I mumble, still half asleep, it's can't be more than two in the morning.

"I don't know. Stay here." He says, grabs one of his shirts from where he left it last night and leaves the room before he's even put it on.

I turn over, drop onto my stomach and heave a sigh, still tired, but then my mind starts working and I turn over onto my back and stare up at the dark ceiling- wide awake now. I listen to the muffled voices below. I hear a woman wail and more muffled voices. I wait. I debate going for my shiv or pistol, _just in case_, but I just wait... a funny feeling worming it's way into my gut.

Jared returns a little while later, and I can see from his silhouette in the doorway that his shoulders look heavy. _Something is wrong_. I don't question him. Instead I wait for him to get back into bed, but he doesn't. He just lays down on top the covers without removing his shirt or trousers. I frown. _What's wrong husband_? I slid over to him and lay my hand on his chest. He lets out a sigh and doesn't touch my hand.

"We're not going to the Palace."

"Something wrong?" I ask.

"The Princess is dead."

My breath slows. "Princess Amelia?"

"Aye, about an hour ago." Jared tell me. "They say the King wont see anyone. Sorry Puss, but the trip's over."

I'm silent, looking off into the dark corner of the room. Sure I'm disappointed I wont get to meet the King anymore but I'm sad for the King. _He must be devastated_.

"She was his favourite." I whisper turning onto my back, sliding my hand off his chest to lay on my stomach. It's not much but I can feel a slight swell, like I've tried to push my stomach out myself. It isn't much but it's not perfectly flat either, no one would notice but feelin' it... I do.

Jared sees this and moves over closer to me, sliding his own hand under mine, his fingers tracing the shape of my little belly. My skin tingles as he does, making me want to close my eyes and smile but I don't allow myself. I just frown and stare at the ceiling.

"Stop worrying Puss." he tells me.

"I'm not, I'm just thinkin'." I frown.

"Whatever your doing, it's enough. I don't like the way your nose is wrinkled." Jared says with his cocky grin and flicks the end of my nose playfully with his finger.

"Jared!" I protest, struggling not to smile. "I'm not playing."

I force a frown as I look at him then, his face looking pale in the dull moonlight peaking through the curtains. He looks as handsome as ever, which makes my annoyance wain and he knows this too because he come in for a kiss. As his lips meet mine I don't kiss him back, I just lay there, he pulls back and looks me in the eye.

"What do you want me to do Puss?" He asks with a hint of annoyance.

"I what you to be serious." I reply, frowning at him.

"It's two o'clock in the bloody morning!"

"I don't care. Be serious or don't talk to me." I growl and turn over onto my side, away from him.

"Puss." Jared warns.

"Don't talk to me." I hiss. "Leave me alone."

I hear Jared groan and feel him turn over, away from me too. The room is suddenly quiet. I stare at the wall and listen to the clock's pendulum swing back and forth with each second's tick. Each tick echoing in my mind, making my feel guilt worm into my gut but I stay quiet until I feel a sob buildin' in my chest. I don't know why, maybe just cause I'm tired or because we're arguing again but I ball my fist at my mouth and try to fight the threat back but one escapes. It sounds louder in the silent room than it was but it causes Jared to turn.

"Puss?"

I sniff and swallow hard. "I'm fine." I tell him but my voice is unsteady.

Jared moves in right close behind me, putting his arm around me as he puts his face to my neck. As he does, another sob escapes and I quickly wipe my face, smearing the tears I turn over quickly and face him. Jared slips his hand around the small of my back and pulls me in even closer to him, allowing me to burry my face in his well muscled chest and put my arms around him. Jared doesn't say anything about this, he just holds me and waits for me to fall asleep. And in moments, I do.

_ . _ . _

Later on, I wake in Jared's arms still. He's already awake and greets me with a light kiss. _In apology or just good morning? _I sigh, feeling much better now, I give him a smile. _I don't care_. _I'll take it._ He grins back at me, clearly pleased with my better humour and gives me love bites up and down my neck until I protest with a laugh and a squirm. Pleased, he pulls back and gives me a hot look of amusement.

_Uh-oh_

"Remember Humacao?" He asks intensely.

Our honeymoon he means. I can't help but smile. _Oh boy do I_. I curl my toes and stretch, my eyes never leaving his.

"How could I forget?" I ask, resting my hands above my head on my pillow. "Those nights on the beach... remember?"

Jared grins and leans overtop me, looking like his certain lusty self as he thinks back to those days.

"Mmm. I remember a particular night we counted scars." Jared says, trailing his finger across the powder burns along my right eye.

_Mmm is right_. I smile. That was a particularly good night. _As I remember you have a few scars of your own. _Unable to help myself I snake my hands up Jared's strong forearms to his shoulders where my finger traces a particular scar on his left shoulder blade.

"One." I smile, my eyes never leaving his.

Jared grins, completely game for another round. It's a good morning.

When we've had our morning fun and my stomach begins to voice it's opinions Jared chuckles and promises me breakfast in bed. I don't protest, I love to be spoilt. So he heads off to the kitchen to procure us a little breakfast as I wash up and try and make myself a little more presentable for his return.

He comes back a few minutes later with two mugs of tea and a plate of fruit, toast and bacon. _Mmm_. We jump back onto our bed and fall too, enjoying breakfast immensely.

"I'll have to ask Higgins to make this a regular thing." I say bacon in one hand and my tea in the other.

Jared grins at me and kisses my neck. "I for one would love the looks of envy."

I have to laugh at him. I don't believe his apparent view of me and men in the least. I'm not that desirable, _a scrawny thing like me?_

Whatever the case I let it lay and we talk about our plans for this day. After several minutes of intent debating it's decided we'll go to the Home and see how things are there. I need to speak to grandfather about the Fletchers anyway and I'd like to see Mairead and Ian again, as well as check on the children Wilhelmina said weren't well. I smile at Jared. I'd also like to introduce them all to my handsome husband and give them our news. We told Higgins late last night, unable to help myself and he advised us to share it with grandfather should we find time to visit him, so we shall.

Once we finished our breakfast we dress, me in my jaunty new riding habit of maroon and cream and Jared in his full black Captain's uniform. I love him in it, but I realize as I watch him slide his pistol into the hidden pocket of his jacket, that he does not have many outfits for such occasions. I powder my nose and make a quick decision to take advantage of the opportunity London provides and get us _both _some new outfits. _Just in case_.

In short duration we're on our way, through the quiet streets towards my old neighbourhood. Walking arm in arm, dressed up like we are I must confess we make a handsome couple. We meet only a few people on the streets, as Jared had expected we might, exchanging the news or scurrying about. It would have been comical if it had been for any reason besides what it was but I feel at home even on these quiet streets. This is London after all.

We reach my old neighbourhood in no time. I point out things I remember, stories Jared may not have heard, and I expand on the characters Amy wrote about. I tell him about Charlie and Hugh the Grand, about Polly and the other kids who I lived with. Then we come to the Blackfriars Bridge. And although it's in bad repair, I show him my old kip. I tell him about the days and nights spent there, the time I nursed a baby under that bridge we found and about Muck comin' 'round for our poor little bodies.

Jared listens to every word I say, smirking at how easily my cockney accent comes back to me. Jared's read the books about me life just like everyone else in the world it seems but as he looks from me to the old kip and crumbling old bridge I know he's surprised.

"It's a little different than what Amy wrote." I tell him, sensing his thoughts.

Jared grins at me and slips his hand around my waist. "A lot is different from what your friend wrote."

I nod, it's true, then reach my face up and give him a quick kiss, but always eager Jared pulls me in close and he kisses me again, under the bridge next to my old kip. My knees feel weak as he does, my mind jumping from the past and the present. When he pulls back finally I smile. _Who'd a think, little scrapper, we'd be back here, kissing such a handsome sailor under the same bridge you slept as a kid? _


	17. My Little Home

_**Chapter Seventeen:: My Little Home**_

When we reach the Home, just a few streets away from my old kip, my heart swells at the sight of it. It looks darling all covered in summer vines, the yard's tidy and it just feels like home. I grin at Jared, my excitement to see everyone rising with each second, and he laughs but leads me right in the front door without question. Inside, my eyes quickly survey what I see, and I'm pleased. Everything is tidy here as well and in good repair. _My thanks to you Ian, I am sure_. Then I turn my attention to two girls sitting on the bench that is there, right outside my grandfather's office on the left of the entrance. I give them a smile, recognizing the elder but not the younger. _You must be new_.

"Miss Jacky." Mary, the older girl stands with a smile.

"You recognize me." I grin, heartily happy she does.

She waves me off with a lopsided grin. "Shoo. 'Course, 'ho wouldn't?"

She then looks to Jared, off to my right and, being a girl of about thirteen, nearly gapes at my husband. I look across my shoulder at him and am pleased to see him give the girl a wink and a grin. _Such a charmer_. Mary blushes and drops her eyes to her feet.

"Tell me Mary, is my grandfather in?" I ask then, bringing her eyes back to mine.

"Uh-huh." she nods. "He's straightenin' out George now. Caught 'im shootin' spit balls in mat'matics."

I shake my head but I can't help but wonder _what are you doing here outside grandfather__'__s office Mary? _I don't get a chance to ask though, because the door opens and a very demeanor George saunters out. I don't recognize this boy, who seems to be about nine but I can tell right away he's a testy sort of lad. He clearly doesn't know me either because he just hooks his thumb towards the office and looks at Mary in passing.

"Your turn." he says and thrusts his hands in his pockets, stalking off.

I glance back at Jared and we share a smile at the boys expense then I hear my grandfathers voice and I smile even brighter.

"Mary, would you come in a moment please." he calls.

Mary sighs and makes a move to enter when I put my hand on her shoulder, stopping her.

"Hang on a minute Mary. I've got an idea and it just might spare you a scolding." I give her a wink, which she smiles at, and turn to Jared. "Shall we?"

He grins and extends his hand towards the door like a gentleman and, like a lady, I take the invitation and enter the office with Jared behind me and, I believe, a very relieved Mary outside.

As we enter, grandfather is seated at his desk writing away. I stop just a little ways inside the office and smile. Grandfather looks a little older, a little tired but it's him and I'm so glad to see him again I don't think about anything else this moment.

"You called me?" I ask, hands behind my back, me rocking on my heels like a child.

Immediately my grandfather looks up and drops his pen, splattering some ink on the papers he was just writing on.

"Mary! Bless my soul child, you nearly gave me an attack." he stands and comes around the desk and I throw my arms around his little frame. He's gotten smaller.

"Grandfather!" I exclaim, ignoring the sudden thoughts of age and frailty. "It's so good to see you, I've missed you."

"And I you child." he tells me as I release him. "But what's this? I received no letter of your visit."

"I know." I say, feeling a little ashamed. "I'm sorry, it's been busy."

"I can just imagine. You will have to tell me all about it my dear." he says then holds his hands up. "Wait, just a moment before you begin. Mrs. McConnaughey will want to know of your visit and your little native too."

_Mairead! Oh yes, please. I long to see my old friend. And Ravi, he must have grown so in the year we__'__ve been apart_! I smile and grandfather slips by us and steps into the hall.

"Mary, go and fetch Mrs. McConnaughey and young Ravi as well. He should be in the library. Tell them we have a visitor, there's a good girl."

"Yessir." Little Mary replies and quickly is off.

"Now." Grandfather says once he comes back into the room and looks from me to Jared, and apparently only now notices this handsome man standing next to me. "I don't believe we have met before."

I smile and let Joseph speak, which he does as he offers his hand.

"I don't think we have, I'm sure I would have remembered. Joseph Jared sir."

"Pleased to meet you." Grandfather says shaking Jared's hand. "I am George Henry Alsop."

Jared nods. _Pleased to meet you _and grandfather looks back to me.

"You haven't replaced the good Mr. Higgins have you Mary?"he asks and I shake my head with a smile, a little squeamish to be called Mary again, especially around Jared who doesn't even call me Jacky.

"No. Higgins has the day off today." I say, then slip my hand in Jared's arm and smile. "Grandfather, this is my _husband_."

Grandfather gapes at the news, looking at the two of us smiling like a couple of fools I'm sure, then he looks at Jared and gives him a very paternal once over.

"I take it you are one of her lads from those novels then?" He asks and although I want to protest or change the subject away from that dammed book yet again Jared just grins.

"Only the best of them sir." He says. "And I can assure you that I, have and will, be only the best of men to your granddaughter. She is very much loved sir."

I look at Joseph in pure surprise. Grandfather doesn't seem to notice, still eyeing him cautiously, but I can't help but be surprised. I have never heard anything like this from his lips before. He sounds like a gentleman._ Aww... Jared! _

This, although it seems to pacify grandfather, isn't where Jared stops but he continues.

"I'm sorry we didn't wait to include friends and family in the ceremony but we weren't afforded much time before we had to leave Puerto Rico for England." Jared explains.

"No need to apologize. I am glad to hear you were married properly... by a priest though I assume?"

"Aye. One of... _great _moral character." Jared replies, hiding the smile I know to be there in thinking of our stuffy little priest. "Everything was done proper."

Grandfather nods. "Thank you young man. That eases my mind."

"Not a problem sir. My late father had three daughters and I am sure, if he were alive now he would expect the same of any man coming to ask for their hand. I only do my best to act as he might, and that means treating your granddaughter with the utmost respect. I was and am a perfect gentleman in regards to her. I promise you."

I look at Jared now with a mixture of disbelief and amusement. Grandfather, from the first day, was concerned about my soul's state and although he's finished his service with the church he is still a man with high morals. I think my husband may have, just in few moments, both saved my soul _and _patched up forever whatever discredit grandfather may have thought I'd suffered in the past. Jared was working grandfather like a pro, whether he was serious about all he was saying or not. _This your first encounter with winning over a family Jared_?

Grandfather smiles and shakes Jared's hand again. "Then I am, very glad, to know you son and very _relieved _to have such an upstanding gentleman such as yourself taking care of my Mary." I want to snort but I don't, I just smile, so thankful my husband is who he is. "I am sure, my late son-in-law would have heartily approved of someone like you for his beloved Mary."

Tears spring to my eyes at that. _Dear dad, would you have approved of Jared? Would you have loved him like I do? _I wonder. Grandfathers sees this and pulls a handkerchief from his pocket for me.

"Now, now, Mary." he shushes me. "You don't look yourself, are you ill?"

I shake my head and Jared smiles down at me. "She's alright sir. That's just another bit of news she's got for you."

"More news?" Grandfather asks, looking from Jared to me and I smile and sniff.

"Yes. I am with child." I tell him and grandfather simply beams with pride. He is little but he is hearty.

"Happily married _and _with child you come to me." he hugs me and kisses my cheek. "My congratulations to you both."

"Thank you." I smile and Jared adds on his own smile.

I'm actually surprised by him. I never thought of him much beyond the rogue I know he is but he is also very adapt and winning hearts. Almost as much as I am. He is a merry rogue after all- everyone loves one of those I suppose. Just then, as I am releasing grandfather from our embrace, do I catch a blur of red hair out of the corner of my eye. I turn and a very large and expectant Mairead shrieks

"Jacky!"

Both Jared and grandfather quickly move aside as I bolt through them and throw my arms around her as best I can, kissing her cheek enthusiastically.

"Mairead you red-haired fiend, it's so good to see you!" I cry. "And look at the size of you- is it twins?"

Mairead laughs and holds me at arms length and gives me a winning smile.

"When do you expect it?" I ask, looking at her belly and placing my hand upon it without asking. I can't help it.

Mairead smiles at me, laying a hand of her own upon her enormous belly. "Another month yet."

"You should be home resting! Not here. Grandfather." I turn to scold my own grandfather when Mairead clucks at me.

"Please! You sound just like Ian. Honestly I'd rather birth the babe in these halls then at home in bed when I've that man constantly under foot." Mairead exclaims and I have to laugh. "Twenty eight children are no problem, an Irishman frettin' over his wife is worse than a savage communion."

I just laugh, heartily, at my dear Irish friend. _I__'__ve missed you, you crazy girl_. Same old Mairead that's for sure. I've almost forgotten we're standing in grandfather's office when Mairead looks behind me and raises a brow.

"What's this then?" She gives Jared a generous once over, I see as I turn, and then she brings her eyes back to me with a shake of her head. "Jacky, you know it's really becomin' a sin the way ye cart around handsome men, ye aught to leave some for the rest of the women in Europe."

I want to be shocked but I'm just too happy to see this headstrong Irish woman. _Is it just me or has her accent has gotten thicker amongst all these Brits?_ I just turn to Jared and grin then look back at her.

"Mairead, remember back to those days when we were headed to Australia... oh no, that was after... I told you about the _HMS Dart _didn't I?"

She nods and little confused but then it hits her. Her mouth slacks and an accusing finger is pointed at Jared but I quickly jump in, putting my hand on Jared's chest.

"This is my husband- _watch what you say_- Captain Joseph Jared."

"Husband?" Mairead exclaims looking between us. I nod. "Well now, congratulations but _Jared _is it?" She asks with a tempting smile.

Jared returns her smile. "Aye."

"How is it that your name sounds awfully familiar... and I'm not talking about the _Dart_." Mairead looks at me and narrows her eyes.

I think back to the late night conversations between a much younger Mairead and I, where we may have reached some levels of high hilarity and soul-searching. Conversations I had long forgot. _Uh-oh. Don__'__t do it Mairead. Don__'__t you dare- _

"Jacky...?" She questions, asking if I remember.

"I have no idea." I reply, my teeth clenched, my eyes wide and threatening. Jared sees this and smirks. He knows there's a story here. _Oh yes, but you__'__ll never know. You can count on that._

Mairead smiles and supports her back with her hand. "I tell you, you sound awfully familiar."

"I've been around." Jared replies, seemingly enjoying the story beneath the surface.

"That must be it. The novels. You must be another character." She says finally. _Ok, that wasn__'__t as bad as I was anticipating. _I exhale slowly_. Watch your words Mairead Delaney McConnaughey. _

"Aye, I think I've been in one or two." he says grinning at my stern look.

"Try three." I look at Jared with a look of disappointment and regret. "Last I heard, Australia was about to be common knowledge to the masses."

_Note to self_, I muse, _I have got to write Ezra and tell him to give his little betrothed more distractions. Anything to save me from more trouble caused by her dammed pen. _

"Ah yes." Jared smirks, daring to poke at my jacket collar. "My little Chinese pirate-ess."

I swat him away but not nearly fast enough for Grandfather has heard. "What's this?" He questions.

I scowl at Jared then fix grandfather with a look of the utmost innocence. "Just a misunderstanding grandfather."

Jared just watches me, grinning. _You sod_.

I feel my anxiety rise, my life yet again on the line when another soul joins us and proves to be my savour... yet again. I hardly recognize him, now dressed like a proper little English gent, but it's Ravi that joins us. I quickly slip through the thickening crowd in grandfather's office and throw my arms around my little man.

"Ravi! I've missed you!" I exclaim, hugging him tightly. And I am warmed by the fact that he hugs me back, proving he is still young enough to accept such things._ I am so glad._

"Missy Shahib! I so glad you come back safe." He tells me, giving me a little squeeze.

I let him go them and look him up and down, so happy to feel his intense black eyes on my face. _Oh, my little man_._ I am so pleased to see you well._ I want to ask him how he is, how he's enjoying England, the school and if he's helping grandfather like I asked him to but Ravi's eyes dance over to the others and widen slightly.

"I remember you, big man." he says pointing. I turn. _Jared_? "Pretty missy have trouble with you before ships come find us. Before typhoon."

I watch Jared, who clearly did not expect to see this boy again, and although I want to see how this plays out I decide it would be best for all of us if I step in.

"Yes, Ravi, this is Joseph Jared. He and I are married now."

Ravi looks between us, his little mind always sharp, and frowns a little. "Pretty missy want to?"

"Marry him?" I ask, hearing Jared scoff behind me I nod. "Very much. Don't worry Ravi, we are friends now."

Ravi takes a breath and doesn't say anything but he doesn't look very pleased with Jared. _Why ever not? Because of what happened back on the Lorelei Lee all that time ago? Hmm. That__'__s right I was angry with Jared... he fired on my ship. Grrr. _But clearly, the feeling is mutual, because he moves to question Ravi but I quickly cut my eyes to Mairead and silently scream for help. She smiles quickly and, although moments ago held my life in her palm, she saves me now.

"Are you here for long Jacky?"

"I don't know." I reply quickly, very thankful of her interruption. "Maybe a day or two if we can manage it. We should return to the ship though before the men grow tired of waiting."

"They'll be fine, I'm sure." Jared replied with a cocked brow. _Ah yes, shore leave. Indeed_.

"What brings you here then? In your last letter you never mentioned any visit." Mairead inquired.

"We came actually to see the King actually."I say, ruffling Ravi's hair and delightfully watch the jaws drop. _Yes, little Mary to meet the King. _"He had wanted to meet me, considering all the good and bad I've done I suppose, but after what happened... with Princess Amelia... it didn't work out."

"Yes a very sad thing." Grandfather sighs, distracted by the mention of Princess Amelia, and I am partly glad of it. "The death of a Princess is never an easy things to grasp."

"I've had three students cry in my classes today already." Mairead says looking sad herself. "I had to send Becky to her room, she would not stop."

I frown and lower my chin, saddened by the thought of one of my orphans feeling so sad. I look over Ravi thoughtfully and he gives me a look of pure innocence as if to say _why are you so sad_. I smile at him, once again warmed by his attentions, then stare blankly as my mind begins to work. A slow grin crawls onto my lips then, a plan quickly being hatched and I look across at grandfather, my eyes glowing brightly.

"Grandfather, would you consent to letting the classes out early today... considering?"I ask.

"It depends my dear, on what you are thinking of." Practical grandfather replies.

"I thought the children deserve a little cheering up, since most of them were quite took with a Princess who loved orphans a great deal. What do you think? We could release the classes now and have them all meet in the dinning room, maybe for a snack and story or some fun?" I ask, putting on my best big-eyed-plea look. _Big sad eyes now, a little tear, a sniff. There. Perfect! _Grandfather caves right away and I bounce over to him and kiss his cheek.

"Ravi do you think you could go and tell Lee Chi, I'd love to see him again, then help grandfather collect all the children?" I ask as grandfather disappears out the door.

"Yes pretty missy."Ravi gives a little bow then dashes off, as cute as can be.

"Mairead, do you think Ian and the children might come too?" I ask then, turning to her.

"Oh, sure. It'll take me two minutes to get him off the roof and down to see you." she says then turns and is gone.

I smile and turn around, my mind still working out the plan like mad when my eyes fall on Jared, standing back out of the way, his arms crossed over his chest and a smile on his ever grinning lips.

"What?" I ask. We're alone now.

His grin holds fast but he doesn't move or say a word, he just keeps watching me, his back against the wall. I want to know what he's thinking, lookin' at me like that.

"What?" I ask again, nearly laughing out loud because of a mixture of excitement and irritation. I hate to be left out of anything, even if it's just some little joke he's enjoyin'.

"I've never seen you like this." he says finally.

I look around me, taking in the office, my clothes, anything but I don't understand. "What are you talking about?"

Jared's grin softens as he speaks. "I've seen you performing for crowds, screaming into a storm, charming your way out of an early death, fighting better than a man in the bloodiest of battles... cursing like a wildcat..." he grins even brighter. "...but never like this. Surrounded by family and friends excited to show a school of orphans a good time."

Jared doesn't move but his eyes just snap with heat, his mouth curving temptingly and I feel all sentimental again. _Damn this babe makes me weepy._

"You never cease to amaze me Puss."

My eyes drop to the floor and I poke my booted toe out from under my skirt. "I love all these people. I'd hate to pass up an opportunity to make them...even a little bit... happier than they already are." I tell him. "You're not disappointed, are you?"

"Hell no Puss." Jared replies and leaves the wall to wrap his arms around me. I cling to him. "I'm proud of you."

It warms my heart to hear him say that. It really does, but there's work to be done and cheer to be spread so Jared and I head for the dinning room to spread a little joy and boy, do we have a time of it.

. . .

There's much less games I had thought there might be and much more of me talkin'. I asked the kids what they would want to do, after introducing myself a little and Jared called his suggestion from the back of the room. I frowned at him and denied it, but the children all came quickly to his aid. _A story. Yes, please Miss Jacky tell us about the Carribean! No, tell us about the army and Napoleon! About the Mississippi! Please, tell us about Australia and the Budda_! I groaned but forced a smile and decided the best story would be of our treasure hunting off Key West. Hardly any bloody stuff, not much grandfather would frown at and _ha-ha_ no Jared. _Take that you sod._

Later, after the afternoon of story telling, grandfather shoos Jared and I home with Mairead, Ian and their family. He says that with Lee Chi and Ravi's he will manage quite fine for an evening and we should go and enjoy ourselves. Ravi is saddened by this and begs to come but I refuse him. I do miss him but if I cart him around with me he'll only want to come back to the ship with us and we can't have that. _I need you to take care of grandfather_. After some firm talking to and a kiss he finally agrees, but with a frown, he's a good boy and doesn't complain.

Little Rhea, Mairead and Ian's daughter, takes a shine to Jared right off, making me a little jealous, but Blair warms my heart with his attentions and makes me forget his little sister wrapped around my husband's neck. After all, I've always had a soft spot for adorable boys and Blair is the perfect little Irish gentleman.

We chat with Mairead and Ian as we cross the school yard to their little house across the street, and they warm up to Jared quite well, despite their first reservations. _He is a witty cove after all_. Soon enough, the four of us are as good as lifelong friends, and it feels good.

Inside their little house, Mairead and I head into the kitchen while Ian takes Jared to the parlour for some conversation and fine Irish whiskey. _There, aren__'__t you happy now_? I'm grateful Ian's taken a liking to Jared so, and Jared to Ian for he's a fine bloke. I like to see Jared with friends. He doesn't get much of the on the ship being Captain. So I smile at them as they disappear and then follow Mairead for our own conversation. It's doesn't take Mairead long either to pick a topic.

We aren't in the kitchen two minutes, before she sends the children up to their rooms to play and turns to me with a bright girlish smile.

"Lord Almighty Jacky, where ever did you find that?" She asks, as soon as the doorway in empty.

I laugh, knowing right off she's talking about Jared.

"Come on now. I thought Ian was the good Lord being happy but _coo_, he must have been in the best mood the day he created that." She continues.

"Mairead!" I choke. _Don__'__t you dare let your husband hear you say that_! She and I look at each other, sharing the joke, then laugh till our stomach's ache. When we pull ourselves together and wipe the tears from our eyes I take a breath and say "I met him a long time ago, back on the _Wolverine_... you remember."

"Aye, in your retelling of it he didn't look nor sound like that." She defends. "How's it that you never ran off with him then. I would have."

"Yes, I know about you and Ian in Harwich." I say with a smirk then I shrug, blushing slightly. "We've had a... well... complicated relationship."

Mairead pulls out a pot and some vegetables and I grab and knife and we start choppin'. "And how's that?"

"I met Jared in between Jaimy and me." I say, as if it explains everything, but it doesn't. "...and I was young."

"That doesn't matter." She tells me. "'sides, look where you are now. But you _are _going to tell me how it happened aren't you?"

She grins and I have to smile back. _Oh girl, I__'__ve missed times like these_. So I tell her all about Jared and me. She's already heard about him from me in my past but I tell her everything again. From our first meeting to our many run-ins with each other over the years, all the way to our wedding and eventual trip here to London. She drinks up every word, exclaims over my ring and the bravery of my husband and over my self restraint in dealing with him over the years. She even sympathizes with our fights too, especially after she hears of the babe.

"That'll happen Jacky." She tells me as I stir the stew on the big wood stove. "I can't tell you how many times I've locked Ian out of our bedroom 'cause of somethin' we've said in haste. That's what bein' married is all about. Sometimes it's great, and others you just about want to kill the sod."

I have to smile. _You have no idea how right you are._

"But a babe." She smiles as I turn and look at her. "Oh, Jacky, I am so happy for ye. Now we can talk husbands _and _babes."

I nod. "The truth is, I need all the advice I can get. Jared's been good so far but we live on a ship with sixty men, it won't be easy. And I'm worried, I'm not a big girl, I'm afraid somethin's going to go wrong."

"Don't be. Women have been birthin' babies since the garden. Everythin's going to be fine and if somethin' should happen, it's not your fault sometimes those things just happen." Mairead says and looks at the table and I know she's thinking of the first baby she lost when that bastard Ruger hit her. She recovers quickly though and look at me again. "I know you said you couldn't stay long but I wish you'd reconsider. Stay in London."

"I'd love to but I want to visit your folks too, give them the news and see how they're fairing. And I'd like to be in Boston by Christmas, I sort of promised I would be. Winter's coming and I'd feel better to be across the pond by then. I've a friend gettin' married in the spring and I'd like to spend some time with her before hand."

_Yes, dear little Amy will be getting married. Finally! I wish Ezra all the luck in the world, Lord knows he__'__ll need it with the little authoress._

"Yes, true enough." She replies with a faint sigh. "Lor! I wish I could go with ye."

"So do I." I confess as she pulls six bowls from the cupboard and sets them about the table. "I don't think Ian would like to see you go, especially now, plus you've two babes already _mum_."

"Oh aye." She sighs, rolling her eyes as Rhea comes into the room with a frown.

"Mum. Mum. Mum."

'What?" Mairead retorts. I smile.

Rhea pokes her little tummy and points to the stove.

Mairead nods. "Yes luv, food. Go get your father and brother and _your _Captain and we'll eat."

I pull the stew off the heat and cast the little girl a cold stare at her back as she disappear. _My Captain, not yours girl. Remember that_. Then I have to shake myself. _I__'__m jealous. Of a two year old? She__'__s got nothing but puppy love for a man that sleeps in my bed. _I have to laugh at myself_. Oh, Jacky, calm down._

"Make sure ye give them all a kiss for me." Mairead says when I turn back to her.

"I will." I promise. "Do you ever go back there some day?"

"And become a farmer's wife and watch my family starve? No."

"It's not as bad as that." I reply. "Look at your mum and dad."

"Aye, but that's after twenty years in the mud and starvin' to death. Now they've four kids to work and pitch in a coin." She replies. "No, I'd love to visit and introduce my babes to their kin but we just can't do it. We're comfortable here but to book a passage for me, Ian _and _three babes now." Mairead shakes her head.

I nod but then I have to laugh at myself.

"What are we talking about?" I exclaim as Jared, Ian and the kids come through the kitchen door. "Some of your best friends have a ship and a crew! Free passage plus lots of fun along the way! Couldn't we?" I turn to Jared and ask.

"What Puss?"

"Take Ian, Mairead and the kids to Ireland to visit their folks, before the babe is born!"

Mairead and Ian look at each other but both stay silent. No, it's Jared that brings me back to earth, looking from me to Mairead and back.

"Take _two _expectant women two weeks around England to Ireland over autumn seas?" Jared asks.

I frown. My heart sinks. He doesn't say no but it's plain enough. He does have a point. _I wouldn__'__t want to do it if I were Captain.._. I have to admit. But for the sake of Ian and Mairead and there families I have to try._ I have to! _So I stand by Jared and bow my head.

"I know. You're right." I murmur, then steal a look at him. He's surprised. _And I__'__m glad_. I raise my hand and finger the brass buttons on his jacket, with big doe eyes and a little frown. "You're always right. I know you'd never put me or my friends in danger... even if it meant seeing our families again... because _you _know better. Couldn't you see the look on your mother's face if she knew you'd carted _me _a few hundred miles across rough seas just so she could witness the birth of her first grandchild. I mean she would be-"

"Enough Puss." Jared says and I frown, dropping my hand from his chest as if his button had burnt me. I want to stomp my foot and curse at him, _One little request, that__'__s all_!, but I'm forced to hold it all in.

"Well, you tried." Mairead says with a sigh, helping Rhea onto her chair.

"Can you believe this Ian?" Jared asks with a smirk.

I look at the two men, a dark frown finding my lips. _To hell with keeping my anger_! I glare at Jared. _Don__'__t even say it._

"Women. _Never _listen. _They never _leave anything alone." Ian replies, pouring both Blair and Rhea a glass of water from the stone jug on the table.

I don't even have time to say anything, Mairead turns and we share a glance, one of loathing for our beloved husbands, and she fixes Ian with the same stare I'm giving Jared, then low in a quiet voice Mairead addresses Ian in Gaelic. Although I don't know much, what I do know tells me Ian has just been invited to a very bad place for shaming his ancestor's womenfolk with talk like that. _I hope your kids haven__'__t picked up their native tongue yet_.

I'm about to open my mouth and curse my own husband in some foreign language, be it French, Spanish or cockney... whichever comes out of my mouth really, just to let him know how steamed I am for that terrible comment when Jared opens his stupid mouth again.

"I've no idea what she just said but I've a feeling it wasn't good." he smirks at his new comrade.

Ian nods. "Aye. Somethin' about me grandmother and the great place below and that's where I'm headed for shamin' her with such talk about me wife. That about covers it."

Jared smirks and looks Mairead up and down. "What you going to do about that?"

Ian shrugs. "Me nothin', not my thing, but I'm sure her father will have somethin' to say about her talkin' back to her husband. 'Prolly give her what for. Once she's given him a healthy grandson that is." He strokes his chin, a smile building slowly on his lips as he meets the eye of his beloved Mairead.

I am still glaring at Jared, for his lack of sense, when Mairead makes me jump as she exclaims

"Ian Seamus McConnaughey! You-"

Ian grins and covers Blair's ears with his hands as Jared quickly covers Rhea's. It's not needed though, because it's such a sight that Mairead and I both laugh out loud. Tears streaming down her face Mairead throws her arms around her husband and me mine- all the while Rhea's still beggin' for her supper. _We__'__re going to Ireland!_

_. . ._

After dinner, when the little ones have been tucked into bed, the four of us lovers of the sea sit around the kitchen making plans. As it turns out Ian and Jared have already ironed out all of the details for our trip before dinner, how they did all that so quickly I'll never know, but it makes things run much smoother. As adventurous wives though, Mairead and I do make a few suggestions. Some of which are accepted while others are not. _No Puss, we can__'__t go diving off the cape. I don__'__t care if there__'__s wreaks there, they can stay where they are. And no, we won__'__t take the long way and take a fat merchant... I don__'__t care if it__'__s for old times sake. _

I pout but I don't make a fuss, no I just sit on Jared's knee and listen to the rest of the plans. It's hard for me not to make more suggestions but I just listen. After all I am in debt to both Ian and Jared for agreeing to take their wives across the channel and up to Ireland. Yes and they know this, they _will _be rewarded for this. Jared's hand is on my hip and I smile, resting my head on his shoulder. _Oh yes, you shall._

_. . ._

Jared and I leave late in the evening and return to our lodgings at the Royal Consort Inn with promises to return in a day or two to collect the family and return to Brighton, and to our beautiful ship. When we arrive back at the Inn things are quiet, but it doesn't matter because we are both tired and head straight to our room. Inside, I toss my hat onto the table and shrug off my little jacket, leaving it on the chair.

"Jared, can you?" I turn and present my back to him and the long line of tight laces. It's made that way to make the figure look slim but it's swishing my gut somthin' awful. _My last time wearing this dress for a while _I'm thinking.

"Gladly." Jared begins to undo the top lace and then expertly moves down the line.

_Your getting faster _I muse with a smile, as he gives a tug and loosens several loops at once.

"Thank you." I tell him then. "For everything tonight. Especially for agreeing on Ireland. It means a lot to all of us."

Here, Jared is surprisingly quiet. I wait for some witty remark, some usual comment, but he is silent as he finishes loosening my laces. When finished he gives me a kiss at the base of my neck, one that makes my skin tingle. I turn and look at him but he's already turned away, shrugged off his own jacket and is toeing off his boots.

_What__'__s wrong Jared_? I watch him still but he doesn't notice me so I undress, still watching him out of the corner of my eye, and slip one of my finer nightgowns over my head. It's one of Jared's favourites, from Paris, and quite dainty but still very French. Then, pulling down my hair I pad over to our bed and pull back the covers as I look at Jared again, now standing by the window looking out. I frown. Something _is _wrong.

"Jared?"

He looks at me quickly and flashes a smile, one I read immediately as a fake. I've seen too many real smiles from him over the years to miss a bad one. I cock my head with sympathy.

"Go ahead. I'll be there in a minute." he tells me then looks out the window again, with no intention of moving anytime soon, I can see that.

I sigh and leave the bed, pad over to him and slip my arms around his waist, holding him tight to me. Jared smiles now, slow but steady and strokes my fingers across his flat stomach.

"What's wrong husband?" I whisper against his back, my face in his shirt.

Jared strokes my hands, pausing on my ring finger, and traces my emerald ring. I frown, slowing catching some meaning. _This is new _I think. I've seen Jared amorous, jealous, angry, serious and witty... I've never seen him quiet, _not like this_. I've also never seen him worried either, but I have a strange feeling that I am now.

"Jared?" I breath. "Is this about Ireland or..."

Jared sighs. "It's a lot of responsibility Puss."

"I don't understand, we've made this passage before, without a single problem." I tell him.

"Aye. You and all your Irish boys, but Puss, you forget you have some friends there that might not be so happy to see you again. And as much as I love a good chase _and _a good fight you need to remember that I'm taking you and your friend _and _her _young family _up there..." Jared frowns, his voice growing low.

I rub my cheek against his back and purr.

"Yes but we all know you can do it, you'd never let anything happen to me or my friends." I say, sounding all sentimental and proud but Jared only twists around and looks at me with intensity, with a look somewhere far between irritation and desire. Whichever, I take my chances and batt my eyelashes and give him the big doe eyes hoping for the best.

"That Puss. Is low." He says, straightening up a little more.

"But it's true isn't it?" I work up a tear and start my lip quivering a bit but he doesn't buy it for a second. _Damn_!

"Of course it is." He says with a frown, totally disregarding my sad eyes. "But don't ever use that performance on me. Don't _ever _play that card."

He grabs my waist and forces me to drop the performance. "You're lucky I'm not the beating kind but for that sick play you just tried to pull I have half a mind to take you across London and put you up in that little cottage, leaving you there."

My mouth falls open but I quickly recover and narrow my eyes at him but he only grins, in a mocking sort of way.

"I've thought about it, trust me. And I told you my intentions for my wife back on the _Dauntless _or do you forget."

"That bloody cottage in Hampshire?" I exclaim with disgust. "I am not moving into some stupid damn little cottage in the middle of no where with your mother and sisters Jared! I'd rather be back in Newgate!"

"You've never even met them!" He shoots back, his smile waning and his serious frown returning at my less than adoring opinion of his family. I'm sure I would adore them but there is no way in heaven or hell I am going to live with them.

"I don't give a damn." I growl. "I am married to you and I'm staying with you, whether you like it or not!"

"Then you'll do what I say." Jared counters, his voice raised the same as mine. "And you won't question me or try to manipulate me unless I want you to!"

"Fine!" I yell and stomp off for our bed, still yelling "Are you coming to bed?"

Jared looks at me and grins, I laugh and shriek as I dive into bed and Jared joins me in seconds. We play out only a few more seconds of our fight then quickly make up. I'm so glad he was just teasing. We snuggle and talk about our evening with the McConnaugheys and the day with the children. Jared tells me he doesn't care much for _my little Indian _but I try not to take offense and only laugh. _You have nothing to worry about with that one dear husband_.

All in all, It was a much more preferred day over all than meeting the King, I have to admit. He did summon me and all, wanting to meet the girl who's caused him so much entertainment and grief but he's caused me a lot of grief in my sort life and I'm glad things turned out how they did. _Well_... not including the poor Princess Amelia but you know.

"I like your friend. Mairead." Jared says against my neck. I've my back pressed up against his front, his arms around me and I'm on the edge of sleep. It's been a long day.

"Mmm." I mumble. "So do I."

"She sounds a lot like you, or so I hear from her husband. He told me about you two aboard the _Emerald_." Jared continues. "That and a few of those Irish boys..."

I smile and snuggle closer. "Jealous?"

Jared smiles against my neck. "Puss, you may have had a... _large _collection of boys but that's all they are... boys."

"Mmm." I smile again but resent the _large collection _he mentioned._ I tried to be good. I really did._

"Besides. I got the prize didn't I?" He says, kissing my neck again.

I want to laugh. _Aye, what a prize, a skinny headstrong girl with a tendency to dress scandalously, lie and steal and with a heart of cowardice who always falls into trouble. Some prize alright_.

"Aye, you did but you weren't the only one that tried." I reply, in attempts to prod a bit at that jealous vein I know he has for me.

Jared chuckles. "Aye, but boys will always try, never succeeding. They lack experience."

"Oh, but there weren't always boys." I reply with a smirk against my pillow. "You must have read about them, since your such an avid admirer of mine. Remember Jean-Paul or _Lord _Allen... and even-"

Jared pinches my waist causing me to flinch and laugh. _I__'__m ticklish there! Hey, stop_! Jared relents and looks down at me with a kind of amused desire. He's a little jealous, I can see now and that's enough for me. I snuggle back down into my pillow and sigh.

"But seriously, you were the first man to join the list." I tell him quietly.

Jared returns his lips to my neck. "And how do I rate next to my followers?"

"You really want to know?" I ask with a hint of a smile.

Jared scoffs at my jab and nips my ear. I chuckle softly and wiggle free, feeling a little groggy with sleep coming for me.

"Let's just say, with everything that happened after I left the _Wolverine _I never forgot you." I tell him.

"After one kiss? I am good aren't I?" He smirks

I elbow him in the stomach and frown. _You wish. ... that kiss was a good one though. _

"That's not what I mean." I retort, shaking the thought from my mind. He grins but he waits, clearly not entirely satisfied. I exhale and turn my head towards him a little but don't move. "There were other handsome men but none left the same impression you did. While there's been a lot of soldiers and gentleman, there's only ever been one Joseph Jared."

He smiles at me and I turn my face back to my pillow and close my eyes and the last thing I feel is his lips on my neck kissing me goodnight.

* * *

><p>: Please review<p> 


	18. One Last Detail

_**Chapter Eighteen:: One Last Detail**_

The next morning, I wake feeling groggy and ill but with Jared next to me I bare it well and don't even have to run to the chamber pot to empty my guts. This morning, still being early, we decide to take to the shops Jared wanting to pick up a few things and me with my mind on my own list of wants, so we dress and head downstairs. I'm thinkin' I'd like to find Higgins and let him know our plans for this day when he turns the corner at the bottom of the stairs and spies us. I greet him with a smile.

"Captain Eaton is in the parlour, he wishes to speak with you Miss." Higgins says after good mornings are exchanged.

I nod and head down on my husbands arm, to meet the very good Captain Josiah Eaton.

"Ah, Miss Faber. Good morning." The Captain says in greeting.

I drop a gentle curtsey, not too deep but deep enough to receive a half bow from him. "Good morning Captain but I would like to gently inform you that it is Mrs. Jared actually." I say. Starting now, I'm fixing things and next to me Jared stands a little straighter. _I__'__m sorry luv... for before._ "I believe you have met my husband back in San Juan? Captain Joseph Jared."

The Captain looks at me like all men do when they meet Jared but I pay no heed. _Aye, I know what your going to say, what a pity eh? Well I don__'__t think so. _

"As I recall it was Mr. Jared back then." The Captain says then gives Jared a slight bow. "My congratulations on your new post, Captain."

Jared only nods in return. It's brash but no comment is made.

"I have come here this morning with bad news I'm afraid. You must have heard the news of Princess Amelia."

I nod. _Poor girl_.

"In light of that, I regret to inform you that his Majesty and the entire royal family are in no state to receive guests such as they may have desired." he says

_I understand. Word is the King has gone out of his mind with grief. I__'__m sure I wouldn__'__t want to see him like that, in hysterics over the death of his girl. I wouldn__'__t be surprised if he never came out of it either_. Reports have said he's been ill like that lately. Lots of strange things happening in and around the royal family these days. Especially with the Prince too. _Royalty or not, he sounds like an idiot._

"In short." Captain Eaton tells us then. "The trip must end here. I regret it has proved to be for nothing."

"As am I." I say just to be polite. "But these things do happen. Shall you be returning to your ship soon sir?"

"No. Since my orders were from the King himself I see it my duty to remain and see what can be done here. I do hold a seat in the house of Lords..." He says, which I did not know. _Fancy that_. "... so I shall attend the Princess' funeral. Should you require anything further during your stay please do not hesitate, it would be my pleasure to assist you."

"Thank you all the same but we will be gone in a few days." Jared says before I can reply. "We are eager to return to sea."

"Ah, I understand completely." The Captain replies then gives us both a smart bow. "It was indeed a pleasure and an honour to know you, even for such a short time Mrs. Jared."

I nod and give him a fine curtsy which he bows at again then looks to Jared.

"And Captain, might I say how fortunate a man you are, she is a fine arrow to have in your quiver... as it were."

I blush at this but Jared smirks.

"And a fine wife." he replies.

"Indeed. I wish you both the best." The Captain says and bows slightly once more. Which we return and wish his farewell then he goes and we never see the good Captain Josiah Eaton again.

. . .

Jared and I spend the day together. I follow him into each shop, giving my thoughts on anything he asks. Rope, ledgers, instruments for the new doctor. _Which we do have to look into don__'__t we darling? _We purchase a few things here and there, but most of the outfitting for the ship Jared has advised Symth on and it should be completed by our return to Brighton. So onto my shopping.

I take Jared into a few shops and force him to agree on new clothes. For me, I purchase a few necessities such as skirts, trousers, blouses, vests and under things. But I do manage to persuade Jared into purchasing a few luxuries, many of which he is happy to pay for since they are fancy under things. It's no Parisian made garments but they'll do.

For Jared, he gets new trousers, shirts, vests and a new jacket for cold weather. We also purchase a Navy uniform under the pretext that he is shipping off in a few days. Ha, we have great fun with the shop keepers purchasing that. We also purchase a smart looking bicorn and some new boots. A few other small things go into the pile of purchases too, should we need to pass off as a Navy vessel. A new spy glass, a pocket watch, a gallant looking saber and musket. Very fancy, _as befits a Captain in his Majesty__'__s royal Navy don__'__t you think my love?_ All in all we have new clothes for both every day life aboard the _Lorelei Lee _and some fancier clothes in case we need to put on a show._ I do so love a show._

By the afternoon Jared and I decide to look into our present need of a doctor. We've gotten by lately with only a seaman with some basic medical training, after our last doctor jumped ship after the wedding in San Juan to wed a very charming islander, we need another. Jared insists on finding a doctor before we leave London, seeing as there is not only me carrying his child to look out for but Mairead as well on our next voyage. I do not protest. As much as I love my crew of rogues I do not want any of them delivering my baby and I don't think Jared does either.

So off we go. We take a carriage down to the finer parts of town, because I'd like to drop in on the Fletchers before we find a doctor and give them the news. After a long conversation with grandfather it was decided that we could use extra help, that and with a packet of money I left him, there's hopes to expand the Home. I've decided that should she be able to, I'd like Wilhelmina to help out while the McConnaugheys are with us in Ireland. Jared's relented to this request and we arrive in front of 32 Drayer Street. Jared steps down from the carriage and offers his hand, like a gentleman. I smile at him and we walk to the front door and ring the bell.

We wait a moment and look the house over. Like the others on the street it is very narrow but about three stories and built of grey brick. It is not impressively fine but it is classic and well taken care of. I adore it at once but of course, it's no _Lorelei Lee_. When the door opens, Jared and I look up into the kind face of an old butler.

"May I help you?" he inquires with solemn dignity.

"We are Captain and Mrs Jared, of the _Lorelei Lee_. We are here to see Mrs. Fletcher." Jared says politely.

The butler nods and steps aside allowing us to enter and we do. Jared and I step into a small but quaint little foyer with darkly stained wood panelling and a bright painting hanging across from us. The butler closes the door behind us then moves around us without a single sound. _You are good._

"If you would wait here a moment, Captain. M'lady." he says with a slight bow.

"Of course." Jared replies and the butler is gone.

"M'lady." I smile with a brow raised in amusement.

Jared grins. "Don't let it go to your head."

In a moment Wilhelmina comes skittering through the french doors to us, quelling my desire to reply to Jared, not many a ladies of the house would do that in London to be sure and I am glad to see it. She wasn't putting on a show the other night, and this I am glad off.

"Jacky. Captain Jared, I am so glad you've come." She smiles, taking my arm. "Come into the parlour, could I offer you anything tea coffee? Maybe a drink Captain, James has some very fine vintages."

Jared raises his brows. _Why not_. Wilhelmina and I smile at each other. Just a couple of school girls really and head into the parlour with Jared trailing behind. As Wilhelmina and I sit on one of the long sofa's basking in early afternoon sunshine. She flashes me a delighted smile before she turns to Jared

"Please, help yourself Captain. You will find James' collection on the hutch there. I would ask Hanson to serve you but he has been suffering from an old war wound that's been bothering him of late. I hope you don't mind. I am sorry James is not in today, I'm afraid you will have to be forced to listen to two women chat on about all manner of things." She tells him with a pleasing smile.

Jared smiles in return as he pours himself a glass of what I can imagine is whiskey. "No need to apologize for your anything, Puss just has some news to share, we won't take up much of your time. And I thank you for your husbands supply."

He gives us both a salute with his glass then takes a sip as Wilhelmina turns back to me.

"I so hoped you would call, I received a letter just five minutes from Mr. Alsop." She tells me. "And I want to thank you. I am sorry if I seem overly chatty, I am very excited by the news."

I smile. "No need. As it turns out your offer comes at the perfect time for the McConnaugheys will be accompanying Jared and myself to Ireland for a time. I just wanted to come and thank you for your offer and hope that you don't mind beginning right away."

"Absolutely not. I would be delighted to. In his letter Mr. Alsop made some suggestion of teaching as has asked for me to visit in the morning. I confess I do not know how helpful I will be but I will try."

"I am sure you will do fine, it's just easy things really. I'm sure in whatever schooling you've had you could cover the basics. Grandfather will explain everything to you when you meet with him. I am sure it'll be no problem." I tell her as I stand. "And thank you for helping us out."

"You're going already?" She asks urgently, looking between Jared and I.

"Aye." Jared replies, standing and placing his empty glass on the table. "My thanks for the whiskey."

Wilhelmina opens her mouth to protest but I smile and pat her arm. "We are leaving tomorrow you see and we are in need of a ship's doctor, so we are off to find one."

"A doctor?" Wilhelmina inquires with some anxiety. "I hope nothing is wrong."

"No, no, it's just a precaution. Sometimes things happen." I say offhandedly. Jared smirks. Yes, in battles things do happen. As in childbirth.

"Have you tried Dr. Lennox in Fulhem?" Wilhelmina asks. "He is a friend of my family, and a kind man. His father has a practice on Hurd Street and when my father was last here he spoke of the Doctor expressing a desire to set up with his own practice. It might not be what he has been dreaming of but if he isn't interested he might know of someone who is."

"Dr. Lennox..."

"57 Hurd St in Fulhem." She nods.

"Thank you."

"My pleasure." She says and walks with us to the door. "I hope the information is useful."

"I'm sure it will be." I smile and give her a sisterly hug. "Say goodbye to Jaimy. I don't know when we'll be back to London."

"I will. I do hope you'll write." She tells me from the door, nodding goodbye to Jared.

"I will send a letter whenever I can. Thank you Wilhelmina. For everything."

She smiles and Jared hands me up into the carriage then climbs in and I wave goodbye to Mrs. Fletcher standing in the doorway of her very fine home.

Shortly after we leave Drayer Street we ride through Hammersmith to Fulhem, remarking on our good fortune yet again. We had no idea where to search for a doctor when lone behold one has fallen right into our laps. Jack smiles at me in an amused sort of way and tips back is hat.

"We've not asked him yet Puss. Give him a chance to refuse."

I smile but can't help but feel excited. "I suppose... but I do have a feeling about this. I think we may have found our new doctor."

"I will be the judge of that." Jared assures me.

I frown but agree. It doesn't matter, a doctor is a doctor.

We arrive at 57 Hurd Street in no time at all and step out before a rather pleasant looking red brick home with a brass plaque on the front stone fence reading _Doctor Frederick Charles Lennox MD, DS _and under it there is a smaller sign added which reads _Doctor Eugene George Lennox MD. _

_Mmm that must be him. Very fine indeed. I should have expected no less from an gentleman__'__s family physician. Nothing too good for the likes of little Mary and her pirate of a husband _I'm thinking as I raise my brows at Jared. He only shrugs and leads me through the gate and up the path to the door. We are here, we might as well try.

Stepping inside the fine office we go directly to the young woman sitting at the desk, dressed smartly in a nurse's uniform. I'm surprised actually but I stay quiet and slide the Look onto my face while Jared does the talking.

"Good afternoon, may I help you?" The woman asks pleasantly.

"We would like to speak with Doctor Eugene Lennox if we could." Jared says, slipping his hat under his free arm.

"Do you have an appointment?"

"No."

She looks down at her ledger and trails her finger down the column. There isn't much written there, I can see that, while the other ledger is full. _Mmm_. She gives Jared a quick but fleeting smile then stands.

"If you'll just wait one moment I will check if the doctor is available." She says. Clearly not realizing we've seen the empty ledger but Jared just nods and leads me to one of the leather chairs lining the room as the nurse goes.

I sit, feeling a little skittish sitting in a doctors office, my first actually, and think about my parents and little sister being dragged off on that Dark Day to be cut up and put in jars. Jared sits next to me and looks around before spying several certificates on the opposite wall.

"Well, I'll say this, we sure aren't taking any chances." He nods to the certificates and I scan them. Four have the name of our possible doctor. I look at Jared and quickly smile with anticipation but the nurse returns before I can say anything. Jared and I stand.

"The doctor will see you. Third door on the left." She says then resumes her seat at the desk.

Jared and I go down the hall, past several framed drawings of guts and medical stuff like that. I keep my eyes away. Although I've drawn some of those things in different occasions I've never felt very good about them. Jared leads me to the Doctor's office then knocks. We are bidden entrance and Jared ushers me in. I stand quietly next to Jared and allow myself to eye the room.

It's about the size of our cabin on the _Lorelei Lee_, and is lined on one wall with, floor to ceiling, dark wood bookshelves. Very elegantly I must confess. The remaining walls are lined with, one having a few windows and the two others with framed pictures and certificates. I arch my brows and take note of all of this. Very rich taste indeed but as my eyes move to our possible doctor, just now slipping a book back into the shelf behind his deck, I watch him turn to greet us.

As he does, I stare blankly. I can't help it, truly I can't, for Doctor Eugene Lennox is a very handsome man. In a moment I am able to tear my eyes away long enough to glance at Jared cautiously. I can see the muscle in his jaw tense but his face remains blank of what he's thinking. I take a breath and wonder if he's going to just turn me around right now and leave this office. _I rather hope not._

Jared surprises me though, by leading me closer to the Doctor for an introduction. As we approach I take this time to examine the man. As I soon realize he is probably only slightly older than Jared, his dark hair is prematurely flecked with grey. But he has a good strong jaw and straight nose. He wears spectacles, which he now takes off and slips into his coat pocket, and has kind eyes. His whole face looks kind actually, a little bookish, but that doesn't diminish the point, he is very handsome. _Well, well. I do always love handsome men. _

Jared, stops several feet before the desk and the Doctor greets us there, with a gentle smile.

"Good afternoon. I am Doctor Eugene Lennox." He extends his hand to Jared, who takes it 'though a little begrudgingly, and shakes it firmly.

"Captain Joseph Jared. And my wife, Mrs. Jared." He says curtly.

I give him a poke in the ribs and extend my hand to the Doctor, who takes it just barely then drops it. I'm a little surprised with this but I try not to look offended. Maybe that's just his way. _Still, it was a little rude, don__'__t you think Doc?_

"Pleased to meet you." he says, his voice kind and gentlemanly. "What can I do for you today?"

"Actually, I've come to ask you the same thing." Jared replies.

"I beg your pardon?" Dr. Lennox asks, looking quite perplexed indeed.

"I believe we have a mutual friend. Mrs. Fletcher." Here the Doctor relaxes. "We spoke to her today and she made mention of you possibly looking for a new place to start a practice."

"You are informed correctly."

"May we ask why?" I can't help but ask. Jared doesn't mind.

The Doctor smiles lightly. "As much as I am in debt to my father putting me through medical school, you might have heard from Mrs. Fletcher that I have very little patients. With such a reputation as his it is hard to secure patients who want me and not my father."

I nod. I should have guessed.

"Well, we've come to offer you a job actually, if you'd want it." Jared says now. "We're leaving for Brighton in the morning, our ship being moored there and we are in need of a Doctor. We hoped you might be interested or know of someone who is."

"We?" Dr. Lennox asks curiously.

"Aye." Jared replies then looks down at me. "My wife accompanies me wherever I go and lately we've reason to believe she will be needing a doctor on hand during the next few months."

The doctor nods slowly, looking at me. "Do you mind if I ask your complaint?"

Jared scoffs. "I don't want one of my men delivering my child."

The Doctor quickly looks at Jared and nods with a smile. "My congratulations."

I smile in thanks. "There are some things you should know though, before you make your decision." I tell him though. _A great many things in fact._

"Yes?"

"We're an independent vessel. There will be times during your employ that you will have to tend to wounds not inflicted by _accident_." Jared says, picking up where I left off with a delicate tone of warning. No use in making him jumpy or call the authorities on us. "I need to have a Doctor prepared for that."

"I have been schooled as a general physician as well as a surgeon." Dr. Lennox replies simply, not at all taking offense at Jared's insinuation. _That__'__s good._

"Good. There is also the fact that you will have sixty patients, all members of my crew, as well as the occasional passenger we take on. Are you familiar with the term loblolly boy?"

The Doctor nods.

"There is a member of my crew who has some medical training, you would be free to use him if you'd like or train another to help you. That will be your choice. _Not _your choice would be both your oath for the safety of my crews heath and that of my wives' as well as your loyalty to me as Captain and that of my crew." Jared explains, sounding fiercely serious. "As well, your salary will be one and one quarter spares. If you accept it you will be given your wages before each shore leave. If you should at any time fail to live up to my standards expect for my crew, or prove disloyal, you will be given your remaining wages and be put off at the next port. If you fail to live up to the standards expected for my wife's health and or safety you will be put off without your wages, or if I see fit at the time, shot. Do you understand me?"

I silently watch as the doctor nods. I am not surprised with Jared. There are not many things he is deadly serious about, but as I've come to know, I am one of them. It warms my heart to know this though, however grim it is for the other person, to know that I am so carefully looked out for and loved. I never had too much of that in my life. People have cared, yes, but not to the extent Jared does.

"Those are the terms Doctor. Take them or leave them." Jared says then with finality.

The doctor is silent a moment then gives Jared his hand. "I appreciate your honesty and I will accept your terms."

Jared, calm and stern, shakes the doctor's had as if he had expected such to occur while I look on with shock written all over my face. Without knowing a thing about us, without knowing what to really expect, after Jared's stern if not intimidating terms he's agreed to travel with us. I usually have a pretty easy time signing people on but I've never had this an easy time of it.

I look at Jared. _Should we tell him, you know, who he__'__s working for? _Jared gives a little smirk and shakes his head. _Not yet._

"We'll be leaving for Brighton at eight tomorrow morning, meet us at the Royal Consort Inn in Bromley. You can bring anything with you that fits into one small trunk and one luggage bag. You may want to wish your family and friends goodbye, you will likely not see them for some time." Jared says then, to our new young doctor who just nods. "Other than that we will leave you now Doctor."

Again the doctor and Jared shake hands. "Thank you Captain."

Jared then takes my arm, leaving the doctor to bow to me as we leave. It's a little impolite for us to do so but I don't scold Jared, I know he's just laying down the law. This is how it is with Joseph Jared as Captain and Master. You obey, you are paid to, and you remember that.

Jared and I breeze through the office lobby and out without so much as a word to anyone else. We close the door behind us and cross the immaculate little yard to the waiting carriage. Jared takes my hand to hand me up into it once more when I just look at him and smile.

"We have a doctor." I beam.

Jared grins. "We have a doctor."

And with that he leans over me and kisses me square on for the entire world to see. I hold his face with my gloved hands and kiss him back, glad to, ignoring the looks we get from those passing by us on the sidewalk. We don't care. We are Captain Joseph Jared and Jacky Faber Jared, once sailor, once pirate, two people very much in love. And as I kiss Jared there on the street I feel very much safe, for Jared is here to protect me and our new doctor to look out for the life of our child. I exult also because I will not have to deliver this babe alone, no, a very handsome doctor will be there.


	19. To Brighton

_**Chapter Nineteen:: To Brighton**_

We, all together, have ten in our return trip to Brighton so it is a cozy trip across the country from the city. Although we try to arrange the carriages to suit everyone's interests and needs it is a difficult task. In our journey from London to the northern side of Crawley the morning is spent with Mairead, Ian and the children in one coach with John Thomas riding on top. Jared, the Doctor, Higgins and myself occupy the second coach with George Thomas sitting with the driver in the morning and then a complete reverse in the afternoon.

We stay the night in the same Inn we stayed at during our trip to London and are quickly off the next morning at dawn. This day Mairead and I share a carriage with the children while the men share the other. Jared was insisting he ride with me but I gave him no choice, just kissed him and jumped up into the carriage with Mairead, shutting the door behind me. The morning is long with the children but we both keep them busy and find time to talk besides. All in all I heartily enjoy the morning. Then, stopping in Lewes to change horses and eat, we switch again.

Jared stands next to the carriages and hands Blair and Rhea up into the second carriage as I approach.

"No Puss. You're in the first."

I frown but accept. I go to the first carriage and see Ian waiting. He smiles and offers his hand.

"Shouldn't you be with your children?" I ask, spying Mairead already inside.

"Jared's idea." Ian replies.

I frown.

"It's alright, I've already tried." Mairead tells me. "Besides, Higgins said he'd be happy to watch the children. They'll prolly nap anyway, they nearly slept in their plates."

I take Ian's hand and climb into the coach, taking the seat across from Mairead and making myself comfortable as Ian climbs up and sits next to his wife. I smile at them and we chat until Jared comes and climbs up, sitting next to me with a grin.

"There. This is more like it."

Ian and Mairead both smile, and nod in agreement, while I just look at him and shake my head.

"Are you sure about this?" I ask.

"Aye. Both John and George are riding on top the coach with the children. Both Higgins and the Doctor have said it's not a problem, and I am not spending another minute of this blasted trip without you next to me." Jared replies and slips his arm around me, kissing my hair. "Besides the company in this coach is much preferred than the last."

I have to shake my head at him but agree, this is nice but my mind worries about Higgins and Dr. Lennox taking care of the children. I have sympathy for them. The children are sweet but they are two and three years old, they have energy. _But_, I sit back and snuggle next to my husband and enjoy the last leg of our trip home and I must confess it turns out to be one of the most enjoyable sections of our journey.

. . .

We have a great time, just Mairead, Ian, Jared and I. We've only enjoyed the company of a few couples since we've been married, but as much as I enjoyed the others, I heartily enjoy Ian and Mairead. They are far closer to the likeness of Jared and I than I have seen yet and the mix of us four turns out to be quite comical. For all of Jared's charm and out of the box thinking, Mairead matches it with both bravado and sarcasm. Ian is the quietest of us but is very cunning and a quick thinker, much like myself though I do have to say out of the four of us I am the most apt to cause trouble.

Out of the sheer lack of boredom during our journey from Lewes to Brighton we end up playing a very spirited game of truth or lie, an oriental game Lee Chi taught me during one of the quieter moments aboard the _Lorelei Lee _some months after we left Australia. We're hardly into the game before the four of us are howling with laughter, it comes in spirts and seems to be the most amusing when husbands and wives are questioned. We have a wonderful time but we are soon exhausted by the laughter and smiles that we fall quiet. Mairead naps with her head on Ian's shoulder and mine on Jared's. Both Ian and Jared talk quietly about the ship and crew and the like but I stay quiet and just listen, my head on his shoulder and my hand in his.

Later, as we turn the last corner and Brighton comes into view I perk up at the first sight of the ocean. It's only been a week since I've left it but I've missed it so. I am very glad to be back again.

Ian breaths deep and smiles out the coach window, careful not to disturb his sleeping wife. "It's good to be back."

"Aye." Jared replies, gazing over the city as is he can just taste the ocean.

I breath the sea air deep too, just holding it in my lugs. I smile and gaze out the window then look across at Ian and his redheaded bride. Ian mirrors my smile and tosses his eyes to the view and back to me.

"It feels good." He says, his eyes fixed on mine.

I nod and take a breath. "I does."

Ian smiles and looks down at Mairead's sleeping face. He traces his thumb across her chin, without waking her and kisses her hair before turning his eyes back to me and as his eyes meet mine again I feel like my best friends' husband and I sit here alone, far away from everyone else. He gives me a slow smile and strokes Mairead's fingers in his lap.

"You ever wish you were back there?" He asks me.

I smile, looking out over the city and sigh, thinking back to our pirating days on the _Emerald_. The entire crew of free spirited Irishmen. _Do I? _

"Yes." I confess. " Almost every day. Things were so comfortable back then, so easy." Then I turn my eyes to Jared looking down at me with a quiet kind of intensity. "But look at what's happened... from then till now Ian... we've both got so much more now than we _ever had _then."

Jared kisses my hair and I close my eyes, savouring the feeling. When I open my eyes again I smile at Ian stealing a kiss from his wife. When he looks up again he smiles in a way I haven't seen since the days he and Mairead first sneaked off into the rigging back on the _Emerald_. My heart swells to see that smile. _Oh yes Ian McConnaughey. With a wife and two such beautiful children who couldn__'__t love this moment more than when you had nothin__'__ but a dream of all this_?

I look back at Jared and think of my own dreams back there on the _HMS Dolphin_. When I was a kid I dreamed of nothin' but seeing the world, getting out of the gutters and becoming famous, as any kid might. Back on the _Emerald _all I wanted was my ship, my skin and my Jaimy. Now, five years later I don't have much of what I wanted at all but as I look up at Jared, one constant in my worthless life, I feel like I have _everything_. I turn my face up to him and he kisses my lips, stroking my face with his strong hands. When he pulls away he smiles at me and runs his finger across my lips.

"I've got more because of you than I ever had Puss." He whispers, trailing his thumb down my chin. I smile at him and close my eyes. _It feels good Jared_. _Knowing that_. You're my whole life now... it feels good that I'm yours.

If our last few minutes in the coach, looking out over Brighton was our heaven the second we step foot onto the wharf, once again with the _Lorelei Lee _hundreds of feet away hell erupts before us. The moment Jared's feet hit the dock he begins shouting orders up to his ship and crew, both of which had not expected their Captain so soon. Boots pound across the deck, shouting rises up into the sails and I stand with Mairead and Ian just watching and shaking our heads.

"Well, we best get ourselves on board before they leave without us." I smile, knowing how eager Jared is by the sound of his shouting.

Mairead welcomes her children with a hug and a kiss while Ian grabs the bags from the driver of the coach. Me, I just stand and smile at my ship sitting so beautifully next to the dock. _Did you miss me beautiful_? I nod to the four crewmen coming for us and give them a shrug for my husband. _What can I say, he__'__s a good enthusiastic._ They just smile. They understand.

"Welcome back Mrs." they nod to me.

"Thank you gentleman."

I take a deep breath of the clean salty air and turn to Higgins as he stops next to me and takes a deep breath himself. "We're home Higgins."

"Indeed. If feels good to be back." he says, surveying the ship. "What do you think of a celebratory dinner, to welcome the first passengers of Captain Jared's career and our departure from England safe... for the _first time _Miss?"

I smile up at Higgins. _Cheeky but I like the idea._ I nod and he heads off to the ship without another word, behind the sailors bearing trunks, calling along the good Doctor to accompany him.

I just stand here another minute, savouring this moment then link arms with Mairead and take her back to my ship the _Lorelei Lee_, this time with her whole family with us.

Dinner that night is an enjoyable affair. We pillage the ships stores and have a real feast. Mairead and I even sing a few songs for the men. Although the ships policy of lights out we stay up late and talk on deck under the stars, listening to the sound of the port all around us.

Then, we all slowly dwindle from our party on the deck and creep to our beds to rest up for tomorrow's journey. Jared left early on some business with Leroy, which leaves me the last one on deck this night. I lay on my back and look up at the stars dotting the sky between the ivory sails and breath deep. The _Lorelei Lee _creaks below me, moving gently with the waves lapping at her hull. I listen to her sound alone and wonder if that's what it's like for this babe. Does it feel like a ship on the waves, swaying and pitching as I move? I smile and close my eyes with my hands on my belly. In eight or nine days we'll be in Ireland and if all goes well we will be welcoming another babe into the world shortly after.


	20. Isle of Green

:I am so sorry! I completely forgot about this story while I was writing/working on _Inspired._ I finished this fic but I didn't post the last few chapters so I ill post them all now. I am so sorry for anyone who is still reading this story.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter Twenty:: Isle of Green<strong>_

Within the week we have Ireland is our sights. It's been a pleasant journey so far but the winter months are quickly coming for us and the cold rains have started, which makes it very hard to do anything at all but sit inside. Both Jared and Ian play the part of the devoted husband on this trip and act it out so well it verges on irritation for both Mairead and myself. Although Ian is much stricter in his concern, since Mairead is much further along in her pregnancy, it is still maddening for me too. _The sympathy between women I suppose._

This morning though, Mairead lost her patience over the fact that Ian said she aught to stay below decks and not walk, even though it's been clear. As Jared and I dressed for the day we could hear every word of their exchange. And now, as we sit at our table and take breakfast in our cabin we can, even now, hear every word as she shouts at Ian, cursing and snapping like a wild thing.

Jared grins over his cup of coffee at me but me, I watch the door in fascination. I've been known for having a temper when it comes to certain things but even at it's worst it is nothing compared to the temper of Mairead Delaney McConnaughey. Just as I reach for another slice of crispy bacon, our door flies open and then is slammed shut again behind a seething Mairead. Her chest heaves as she tries to catch her breath, her large stomach going through the motions too, as she just stands there glaring.

I quickly pull another chair around for me and pat it as I Jared leans back in his chair, regarding her.

"I have a feeling something's wrong Mairead." He says with a grin, and sympathetic tilt of his head.

_"Jared."_ I hiss, trying to swat him but he just chuckles, kisses my cheek and side steps Mairead coming to the table.

"Mairead, I'm sorry for-" I begin, scowling at him but he jut grins back and opens the door.

"Don't worry bonny lass, I'll straighten 'im out." Jared pledges.

"Tell him, if he ever tries to tell me what to do again I'll end his child rearin' days. With me _or any other woman_."

I bite my lip and cringe. _Ouch_. I cut my eyes to Jared and I can tell by the way he's cringing, he's thinking the same. But with a threat like that he isn't quick to linger, he just gives himself a shake and slips quickly out the door to give the warning to his comrade.

Mairead and I share a smile but we both know what's going through her mind. _It__'__s almost time_. She breaths deep and looks at me with an anxious glint in her eye.

"I don't think we're going to make it." she tells me, putting a hand on her belly.

"Why, is something wrong?" I lean forward anxiously. _Please, let there be nothing wrong_.

"No but I can feel it. Ian and I fight a lot more the closer it is. I'm more irritable. It's coming Jacky."

"Ok. Just hang on." I give her hand a squeeze and quickly slip out the cabin door. "I'll be right back."

As calm as I can I walk across the deck and up to the quarterdeck where I know Jared will be. He's always here. He's standing there talking to Ian, no doubt advising him of Mairead's threat, so I wait until their done and Ian goes.

"Love?" I say with a gentle smile. "Is there anyway you might be able to coax a little more speed out of these sails?"

"What? Why, we're only several leagues away Puss. We'll be docked by sunrise tomorrow." He tells me, tossing a hand to the island for emphasis.

I fix Jared with a intent look and lower my voice. "Aye. I know that but more speed would be _appreciated_. Especially to a woman who will soon be going into labour."

Jared stares at me blankly.

"Yes my love, now please if you wouldn't say anything until it happens it would make things go a lot smoother." I tell him. "_And _if we could get more speed, this babe could be born in the house of his grandparents."

Jared's chest rises and falls. He nods and yells to his men aloft. Sending them scurrying about, pulling lines and stretching the canvas to catch more wind. It's not a big leap but we do creep forward at a quicker pace. I smile and give him a kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you."I say and turn, to return to Mairead.

"Puss."

I look back at Jared but he comes to me.

"If it starts before we dock, how long will we have?" he asks me quietly.

"I don't know. The only labour I was present for lasted several hours. I'd say at least that long to be safe." I tell him. "Why?"

Jared just shakes his head, looking a little distant, but he leans over and gives me a kiss. "Go on, she's waiting."

I nod and go. _Oh, please wait little babe. Just wait a little longer_.

:

We dock at Wicklow within the night. Jared stays on deck with the watch all night and sees that it's done so by the time he comes staggering in at dawn and we all wake we find ourselves safely docked at our destination. I rise and dress shortly after he comes in, wanting to go with them to give Moria and Liam the shock of their lives to see their daughter at their door with her husband and children in tow but I go out and tell them to go on without me. I decide to let them have their family time alone. _They don__'__t need Jacky always hanging around_. Instead, I go back into our cabin and climb back into bed next to my husband. I'd like to be here when he wakes. After all he's done to get us here safely.

Jared sleeps for a few hours, most of which I do too but I wake and grow weary of trying to sleep so I get up and poke about the cabin quietly. With no interest in reading I stand in front of our large spread of windows and look out at the surrounding landscape. I'm so wrapped up in the beauty that I forget Jared is in the bed behind me until he moves and it scares me. I smile and go to him, leaning over him for a kiss. He smiles and blinks repeatedly, the sunlight too harsh for his tired eyes.

"Where is everyone?" he asks.

"Out. They've gone to Liam and Moria's with the children."

"Any babe?"

"Not yet." I smile. "You did it. You got us here in time."

Jared smiles, blinking sleepily. "Ah, the green isle. How's it looking this morning?"

"Green." I smile and kiss him again. "Thank you."

Jared smiles and lifts the covers. I shake my head but slip in next to him anyway, I can't refuse. I lay my head on his chest and he slips his arm around me and suddenly it's easy to sleep like this.

:

Two days later there is another thriving McConnaughey in the house of Delaney, a son they've named Teague, which apparently means poet. Moria and Liam are very proud grandparents and each day the whole family comes together to celebrate the coming of this new babe and the surprise visit of Ian and his family. Jared and I are invited of course and we attend, having a wild time with the Irish clan, bringing our own sense of humour and stories of past adventures. Moria seems to have warmed up to me a little after meeting Jared and hearing of our coming child. Liam is very proud, proclaiming himself sea-grand dad. My heart swells at the sight of Jared, Ian and Liam sharing a drink in the parlour each night like they were father and sons, talking of old times or those to come. I busy myself with looking out for Mairead and trying to be of help to Moria but I can't help but notice it. I am so very glad we've come.

Jared is busy in the next few days with Liam down at the docks, talking about modifications to the _Lorelei Lee_, and with Moria tending to much of Mairead's care, I spend a few days taking care of Blair and Rhea so Ian can spend this time with his wife and new babe.

:

Today, being such a fine sunny day, I take the children to the beach. The other children are in school and won't be out for another hour. I've promised Moria I'd fetch them all at school then take them home, she's pleased by this and it makes me happy to chalk up another hit for Jacky on the dense armour that surrounds Moria Delaney's heart.

The three of us skip about on the shore, collecting pretty stones and poke at sea weed we find on the rocks. The children play tag, darting back and forth trying to get me to play but I just wave them off with a smile. I'm too tired to play.

I walk slowly behind them, smiling at their antics, when I feel a pain in my stomach. I frown and lay my hand carefully on my belly and breath slowly. It feels like a cramp. That's off, but I don't pay much attention to it and continue walking. Another few steps later though and I feel another, but sharper. This time, it makes me drop the children's bag of stones and clutch my stomach. It's not like a cramp anymore, it's like a knife being shoved right through me and twisted. _Yeeouch_. I try to slow my breathing but the pain is making it hard. That and panic quickly sets in. I look down at my hands frantically. They're shaking. I try to work my mind but nothing is clear.

_What__'__s happening_?_ It__'__s not nearly time yet_. Tears brim on my lashes as I feel something warm run down my leg. _Did I just._.? Anxiously and frantically I dig through my skirts and draw my shaky fingers along the inside of my leg, pulling them out to expose my fingers covered in blood.

My whole body trembling now, I set myself down on the pebbly beach and look up at the children running further and further away. I open my mouth to call to them but as soon as I open my mouth another pain comes and stabs relentlessly at my insides. I clutch my stomach again, tears streaming down my face as my mind clears only long enough for me to grasp some kind of reality.

_No. _I look at my bloody fingers again and begin to sob. _No! Please... oh Lord...not this. Please_! Another wave of pain comes and I lean forward into the pebbly beach, trying to cry out but no one hears me. I think I hear the children scream but it sounds like laughter. I lean over further onto the beach, clutching my middle and weeping, trying to breath. _So this is how it ends? On a beach listening to children play that I die silently, all alone_. I don't get my answer. My world goes black once again and I prepare to meet my maker.

: : :

When I open my eyes again, I am in my cabin on the _Lorelei Lee_. I blink slowly, my word is hazy, and look around at everything cloaked in darkness. Everything is somewhere between reality and dream, I don't even remember anything that's happened. _Why don__'__t I_? I shift under the covers and look to my right. I see Jared sitting there in a chair next to my bed. That is my first clue something is wrong.

He shifts in his chair and our eyes meet, giving me clue number two, his face is creased with worry his eyes strained. It's then that I remember the beach. Slowly it thaws my mind and I remember everything with sickening dread. Jared doesn't say a word, he just looks at me with those tired, sad eyes and I struggle to find my voice. Then, feeling like I'm dying, a sob racks my chest and my head throbs.

"I lost the baby." I say, my tears streaming down my face before I can think of them.

Jared gets up and sits on the bed, leaning over me as I snake my arms around myself and sob. He wraps me in his arms and hugs me, kissing my head. Everything gets lost from that moment on. I don't know what he says or what he does. I just think about the baby I'll never have.

:

I wake again later, my head feeling like it's been smashed on a cobblestone street and my heart like it's been ripped out of my heaving chest, leaving only the empty hole behind. I must have cried myself to sleep because when I look to the chair next to the bed Jared is still there. He's sleeping in the chair now and looks worse than when I first woke to see him there. I turn away, back to my pillow and pull my legs tighter to my chest. It doesn't matter. All I feel is hurt right now. Tears slid down my cheeks again and stain the pillow as I try to be quiet but it's no use. In seconds I'm overcome and I don't recognise anythin' but the pain.

For days it's the same. I don't move and neither does Jared. I have nightmares every night. Nothing drives them away. Not even Jared sitting next to me helps. We don't take any visitors or talk to anyone but Dr. Lennox, and even then it isn't much. Jared is stone faced, he looks exhausted and I can't stop crying. We aren't much for people right now. This goes on and on until one morning I wake and feel nothing but emptiness. The pain is just gone, leaving only a maddening, dull ache behind.

I look over at Jared, asleep in the same chair, with the same look of exhaustion creased onto his face. I watch him sleep for a time until he stirs and then with a flinch, realizes I'm awake and watching him, he leans forward and searches my face.

"How are you feeling?" he asks with sympathy, stroking my face.

I blink slowly, feeling tears build instantly out of nothing. "Worthless."

Jared frowns and tucks some hair behind my ear then wipes my tears from off my cheeks. He is quiet but even through my tears I can see he's hurting as much as I am. He's trying to be strong but the pain is clear. I struggle to still my tears, to be strong for him, it's hard but in a few minutes I get them under control and look up at him again. I want to say I'm sorry but I can't bring myself to. It wont fix anything anyway. Jared doesn't seem to mind though, he just takes my hand and holds it, wiping any stray tear away as soon as they come. We sit this way for a long time, but soon enough there is a knock at the door. The doctor has come again. I turn my face away, I don't want to see him but Jared squeezes my hand.

"He'll help." He whispers. "Please Puss, don't."

I frown, tears sliding down my cheeks again but I don't protest. _Ok Jared. I__'__ll do anything you say_. Jared gives me a ghosted smile and goes to the door, unlocks it and lets the doctor in. I look at the wall, anywhere but at the doctor. I don't want to know. I don't want to hear anythin' he says but he comes to my side and puts his bag on Jared's chair, making it hard for me to ignore him.

"Mrs. Jared. How are you feeling this morning?" He asks gently, looking down at me with sympathy.

I turn my head and look into his face. He looks tired too but I don't think about it. I just hold his gaze and feel a bitter seed sprout in my heart. I don't say anythin'. If I do I'll lash out at him. I know I will. _No, Jacky, don__'__t say anything_. I turn my eyes back to the wall and stay silent.

"Puss?" Jared stand at the end of the bed, looking over me carefully. I look at him and feel hurt by the look on his face.

_So sad Jared, just like me. How can you bear it? _

"Puss, please. He'll help you."

I feel a sob build in my throat and I shake my head, bitterly, but in a moment I look back to the doctor. _Fine_. _For Jared I will listen_. I let the doctor do his examination, poke gently at my gut and do everything he needs to then crawl back under the covers and pull my legs to my chest. Dr. Lennox feels my forehead and gives me another sympathetic look before he turns to Jared and removes his glasses.

"She'll be fine." he says. "Physically that is. She will need time to recover mentally from this tragedy but she should be fine."

The doctor then pulls out a little black bottle from his bag and sets it on the bedside table.

"This will help her sleep... it will help both of you actually. I recommend only one ounce each though." the doctor says cautiously and I look at the bottle. _So we meet again, Jacky__'__s little helper. _

Jared nods and looks back at me, curled up and looking small in our big bed. "Do you know what happened?"

Dr. Lennox cleans his glasses with his handkerchief then slips them on again. "It was a miscarriage. It is sad to say but it is not an unusual thing to happen to young women."

Jared frowns, looking at me again. _I__'__m sorry Jared. I__'__m so sorry_. A sob gets caught in my throat and I pull the covers tighter around me.

"But Puss? She wasn't hurt. There wasn't anything to bring it on." Jared protests. "I thought that only happened for a reason."

"Yes, and that is not very usual. All I can tell you is that... it just didn't stick. I am sorry."

"It didn't stick?" Jared growls. "What the hell does that mean?"

"There must have been an internal problem, I can't be sure, but it's likely there was some deficiency in the body that simply could not support the life within. It was natures way of preventing more harm by simply 'dislodging' the life within to save the life giver." The Doctor explains gently then frowns sadly. "I am truly sorry but this might have been a blessing in disguise."

Jared's jaw tenses, the muscles in his face flex. "Will this happen again?"

"It is unlikely but... there is only one way to find out. I am sorry I cannot give you better news but medical knowledge is only so advanced." Dr. Lennox explains.

Jared nods. "Regardless you have my thanks."

Dr. Lennox nods and picks up his bag. "Rest Mrs. Jared. Your entire crew and company of friends pray for your health, perhaps with both we will see you up and about sooner than we expect."

I swallow and nod slowly. _Thank you Doctor_. And he goes, with Jared walking him to the door and letting him out. After, Jared locks the door again and comes back to the bed, sitting on the edge of it next to me. He leans over me and looks down as I look at him feeling terrified. I'm waiting for him to say that's it, _it__'__s too much of a risk_. I'm waiting for him to say, _if you can__'__t give me a child then we__'__re done. There__'__s no use for you_. As I wait I feel the tears pile up at the corners of my eyes. I feel so helpless.

"I'm sorry." I whimper finally.

Jared frowns weakly and doesn't say a word. He just looks at me, looking sorry himself. I take a breath and brace myself.

"I'll understand..." I begin, unable to take it anymore, then choke back a sob. "...if you don't want me anymore."

Jared's mouth opens and I can't bear it. I cover my face with my hands and sob.

"I wouldn't want me either." I cry.

Amidst my wailing and sobbing Jared reaches for me and pulls my hands from my face. His lips are set in a thin line, his eyes are dark, and gives my wrists a little shake. He actually scares me.

"Stop." he tells me. "Stop crying."

I try but it's hard. I can't bear the thought of losing him. _We were so happy_. I choke and gasp for air for a few moments then manage to stop my tears enough to satisfy him. When I do he lets go of my wrists and looks at me real seriously through his cool eyes.

"I don't want to hear you say _anything _like that _ever _again." He says firmly. "Not even a word that sounds like me or you leaving. Understood?"

I nod weakly, still too scared by the thought to do anythin' else.

" All I care about is you, Puss, and I'd like you to live to be a wrinkled old woman with me... and if that means we don't ever have a child I'd be fine with that. I'd rather have that, then twenty kids." He says, moving his hand to my face and cupping my cheek in his rough palm. "I just want you to get better. ...It scared the hell out of me these past few days... I started to think I might loose you..."

Tears roll down my cheeks as I watch Jared struggle for words. I put my hand on his, holding my face and leave it there, stroking his skin.

"I don't ever want to go through that again." he finishes. "_Never_."

I swallow, my mouth dry, and force a weak smile for him. _I__'__ll try to see that it doesn__'__t._

Jared takes a deep breath and slips his hands around my back, pulling me up to sit. I do and I snake my arms around his strong frame as he envelopes me with his. I hide my face in the nape of his neck and close my eyes as he just squeezes me in his arms. At this point I don't care if he squeezed me so tight that my eyes bugged out like a toad. I don't care. I just keep my face in his neck breathing the scent of his skin and praying to whatever higher power exists, thanking them for everything I've been given in my life and asking that they show mercy to this poor innocent little girl's future. I don't know if I'm heard but it eases my heart.


	21. Azure Waters

_**Chapter Twenty One:: Azure Waters**_

Another week passes before I am feeling well enough to leave the cabin. Between that time I've had a few visitors, each for only a short time. The Doctor still advices me to remain quiet and get a good deal of rest, and I listen for the most part but it's hard when Liam is my first visitor. He doesn't say much but the way he just comes striding in makes me dissolve into tears. He holds me tight, strokes my hair and kisses my forehead. Of all the men I've ever known, Liam is the closest thing I've ever had to a father and he plays the part for me well.

Mairead comes too. She sits with me and tells me about all her brothers and sisters being worried about me. It touches my heart and we talk a little while but Jared comes back and she must go back and tend to her own babe. It's hard for me not to resent the fact that she has a babe and I don't but Jared distracts me well. He gets me somethin' to eat from Higgins and reads me the mail... anything to keep my mind occupied.

It's hard for me to sit here in my cabin and rest, I can't bear to be so close to Liam and Mairead without visiting with them, but I must. And unfortunately I don't get to spend much time with either or them, or anyone else for that matter because Jared is anxious to take the _Lorelei Lee _out to sea. We've already stayed too long and winter will very soon sink it's deep claws into Ireland and make our way out to the Atlantic much harder.

It's hard for me to swallow but I agree with Jared and don't make a fuss. He has me bundled up and takes me to the Delaney's home the morning we are set to leave. It's a hard thing to listen to ones husband when she is faced with the entire Delaney and McConnaugheys family but I bite my lip and say my goodbyes.

"...and Seamus, you handsome lad, take care of your sisters. You might not care much for them at present but it's your job to protect them from eager young lads who will only break their hearts." I say and give my miniature Padraic a kiss on the cheek.

_Oh I remember your older brother so fondly. Wherever you are, Padraic, I__'__m thinking about you_. Seamus blushes lightly, reminding me even more of his brother, and eyes his sisters who stand teary eyed down the line they've assembled in to say goodbye.

"Aye, Jacky. I'll watch over 'em." he tells me, his chest puffing out a bit. Manly pride and all.

I smile. _And you watch the girls, those errant young skirts will only cause you a lot of trouble and heartache. _I turn to Blair and Rhea next and give them each a kiss and tell them to be good to their new little brother. _A kiss for you now Ian, yes, take care of your beautiful wife now. And Mairead, you wild soul I__'__ll miss you too. I__'__ll be back to take you home to London, count on that. _A hug and a kiss for her and a kiss for little Teague, the poet. Next is Moria.

I turn to her and smile, thank her for all her kindness and then move towards Liam when she stops me and puts her arms around me. Moria's never hugged me before, but as she wraps her arms around it makes me cry and cling to her. She feels like a mother. When she pulls back and holds me at arms length she gives me a motherly look, which makes me miss my own dear mum gone near fifteen years now. I never really knew her but as I look at Moria now I hope she would have been somethin' like this fiery wife and mother.

"Take care of yourself and take good care of that husband o' yours, we'll be watchin' for you come summer gales." She tells me and I feel my heart breaking.

I nod and sniff back my tears as she lets me go, turning me to her husband. I look at Liam who's watching me with tears glazing his eyes and bite my lip. Without even trying to speak I throw my arms around his neck and cling to him. He gives me a squeeze and I squeeze my eyes shut tight. I feel like I'm leaving them forever. _I__'__ll be back come summer_. I want to cry but he knows, they all do, Jared and I will be back to take Ian and Mairead back to England.

Liam rubs my back then pulls me away from him, plants a rough kiss on my forehead then smiles at me.

"Fair winds to you my daughter."

It's then that I really feel my heart break. Tears stream down my cheeks as Jared comes and wraps his arm around my shoulder. He shakes Liam's hand and shushes me but I can't stop. I pull my handkerchief from my sleeve and wipe at my tears helplessly.

"Take care of that girl Jared." I hear Liam say. "She means a lot to us."

"She does to me too. I will."

I manage to pull myself together well enough not to make a complete fool of myself as we leave the house and manage to give them all one of my foxy grins from the roadside. They all stand in the little yard and wave at Jared and I as we go. My heart pounding, I feel like I'm a child leaving home for the first time, I slip my hand into Jared's and give it a squeeze.

"Quick Jared." I tell him. "Before I decide to stay forever."

Jared smiles and kisses my hair. We're still both not feeling like our old selves but he takes good care of me. In a few short minutes we're out of sight of the Delaney cottage and quickly on our way back to the docks. It doesn't take long before we're walking back onto the _Lorelei Lee _and Jared's giving the orders to shove off.

Higgins, who I've neglected terribly during my recovery, meets me on deck and gives a smile to my pouting self. He knows me too well. He puts his hand delicately on my back and turns me towards the cabin.

"I took the liberty of drawing a hot bath for you Miss." he tells me. "Don't worry, the good doctor has informed me it is quite safe. Besides it will relax you and distract you from our departure."

I look up at Higgins and smile. "Thank you Higgins." I say, slipping my arm in his. "Lead on."

: : :

Weeks pass slowly during the long trip across the Atlantic but it's a relaxing voyage. We narrowly miss the winter gales in and around Europe and beat them to the Caribbean making it one of the safest treks I've ever witnessed this time of year. This is good because I haven't had the heart to enjoy the voyage like I might any other. Most of the trip I remain quiet and withdrawn, still mourning over my nameless babe, Jared does better than me and I envy him for it but, he didn't carry it for four months after all, but I get along alright.

As the Atlantic waves begin to lighten to the warm azure blue of the Caribbean appears my heart slowly sheds its heavy baggage and my spirit once again begins to rise. I'm feeling much better by the time we sight the first signs of our winter home and although we are too late now to catch Amy before she leaves school for her holiday at Dovecote, I am very happy despite it.

Within days I'm back in my old rig, my pirating gear, snug trousers and all, climbin' through the rigging with my lads. One lad in particular, catches me up in the rigging alone, with my back against the mainmast and my eyes on the bright blue sky. I turn, slightly startled by the sudden thud of boots behind me, and smile at Jared lookin' across the cloudless sky. He looks back at me and grins. My heart warming at the sight of his old smile.

"With this weather we'll be in Boston by weeks end." He tells me.

"We've missed Amy." I say, glancing over the sky once more, but smiling back at Jared. "But that's fine. We'll take the coach to Dovecote after Christmas. What do you say to spending the holiday with Davy?"

"Jones?" Jared smirks. "Aye, he and his ten brats."

"I think it's four now actually." I smile. _Cheeky Davy_.

"Aye, I'll get you there in good time to surprise your old mate." Jared says with a smile.

_Ooh. I hadn__'__t thought of that. Yes, my genius of a husband, a surprise for Davy it__'__ll be. _I grin brightly and Jared laughs.

"It's frightening but I think your starting to think like me." I smile.

Jared smirks. "Ney, we've always been of like mind, you just tried to deny it all those years. Same as you tried to deny you were taken with me right off."

I laugh and Jared takes hold of me, pulling me close and giving me a kiss. I smile and swat at him but he only grins and backs me up against the mainmast. We're far away from the crew up here but I'm a little wary of those on lookout. They should be watching the horizon but with this going on below them they might be lookin' elsewhere. Jared kisses my neck and I smile, it feels nice but I decide it's best I stop him before it gets to far.

"If this is going to be how it is..." I say quietly. "I think we should go to our cabin."

"Why's that Puss?" Jared whispers, nipping my ear. Anyplace is good enough for him, it seems.

My skin ripples. It tickles but I resist the urge to laugh. It'll only urge him on.

"We're a little exposed here, don't you think?"

Jared grins against my skin. "Near three hundred feet up? No, not really."

"The lookout Jared is not fifteen feet _above _us." I say, craning my neck away from his lips.

Jared pulls back and looks at me intently. I raise my brows with a frown. _Come on, this isn__'__t good Captain behaviour. _A slow smile creeps onto Jared's lips, curving his lips into a handsome but dangerous smile.

"Lookout! Report." Jared calls, above us.

We hear some fumbling then "All clear Sir. Puerto Rico three degrees off the larboard side. Reported four hours ago sir."

"Good, Report to Mr. Le-" I elbow Jared in the ribs, stopping him short. _Sending a man away from his post just to satisfy a personal urge. You lusty sod._

"Sir?" The lookout calls.

"Belay that sailor!" I shout up to him. "Keep your eye on that horizon."

I thrust my hands onto my hips and glare at Jared, just standing next to me with an innocent grin.

"That will cost you." I frown.

"What?" He defends. "I'm the Captain, I can do that."

"Well I am the owner of Faber Shipping and I do not approve of my Captain's personal desires to conflict with their duty." I snarl.

Jared crosses his arms in front of him and leans against the mast, pensively.

"That little err in judgement with cost you two days."

"Two days of what?" Jared scoffs.

I narrow my eyes and take hold of a nearby rope. "Two days banished from the bed of your Master."

And with that, with the satisfaction of seeing Jared's jaw slacken, _that__'__s right you__'__ve been kicked out_, I jump over the rail and climb hand over hand down to the deck. I smile wickedly and laugh to myself at my Captain's expense. I do love to tease him. The second my boots hit the deck I make my way to the cabin. I know he'll come. _He always comes_. I go in and pour two glasses of wine, set them on the table then jump up and sit myself on the edge of the table as well. I smile, drape one leg over the other and wait. I have seconds really before the cabin door opens and Jared stands there. I smile and take a sip of my wine. He steps inside, closes the door behind him and turns the lock. He looks back to me with an intense look in his eye and I try to look innocent.

"Is something wrong?" I inquire.

"_Master_?" He questions, walking slowly towards me.

I smile and can't help it anymore. I laugh. I laugh and I wrap my arms around Jared's neck.

"Is something the matter with that?" I ask.

Jared grins but his eyes are still hot. "Ney. I don't care _who__'__s _on top."

I laugh. _I can__'__t help it. _The sun is shining and we're back in familiar waters, I am happy.


	22. Two Captains

_**Chapter Twenty Two:: Two Captains**_

We dock in Boston on Christmas Eve and I get my surprise of the Jones family I had been hopin' for. I'll never forget the look on Davy's face when he opened the door either, his three boys crowding around him, to find Jacky Faber standing before him in the snow. _Ha! It was great_. Jared and I spent the entire holiday with Davy and his family, having a wonderful time telling stories of our childhood and stuffing ourselves with Annie's good cooking. It's a wonderful time for all of us.

Then, after the holiday, and after visiting a few of our other friends, Annie takes me up to the school to see Peg and what girls are left that I've known. It's there too I am allowed to surprise a few more and I have a rip roaring time, sitting in the kitchen sharing tales, gossiping, and generally preening over my wedding ring. Annie and I have a wonderful time, me being the modest one, chatting on about Jared. I am selfish I suppose, but I love the looks on their faces when they meet Jared _and _hear about him. Those looks of jealousy, I love. Then, when I start gettin' under foot I decide to pop upstairs and see Miss Primm.

I sneak up and, dressed in my fine English gown, I knock on Mistress Primm's office, stride in, go to the line and stand... _I have to admit, looking like a Duchess herself_... with the Look on my face. Mistress Primm, although quite old now, is very surprised to see me but quickly composes herself, being used to the way I always seem to pop up unexpected, and invites me for a cup of tea. We have a grand time, I must say, sharing news and the like. I share her the news of my Home in London, of my request from the King himself, my marriage... anything she might be delighted to hear. She is proud, she tells me this right off and congratulates me several times. All in all, my heart is warmed and I beg for a favour.

_Would it be alright if I popped up to pay my respects to my dear friends still at school here?_ Mistress Primm nods, the Look on her face, and grants my request. Unable to help myself I give a little squeal and jump up, darting towards the door when I remember where I am and turn, quickly drop to my best curtsy and slap the Look on my face, accented by my most delicate smile. _Thank you Mistress Primm, I am eternally grateful for everything you have done for me, although my soul has been most ungrateful and undeserving in the past. _She nods and waves me off. Deep down, she is a kind woman.

I sneak upstairs and creep around, my veil covering my face in such a way that I can locate my friends, those who have been slated to spend their holidays at school. And today, being Sunday, they have the afternoon off and the majority of them are in the dormitory lazing about, chatting and what have you. _Perfect_. I exalt and take a deep breath then burst through the door, jump on the closest bed... _luckily unoccupied_... and whip off my veil whilst shouting.

_What__'__s wrong with you lot? Haven__'__t I taught you anythin__'__? Quick, up with you all, dress! It__'__s a night on the town with Jacky for you all! _

The girls shriek. They jump. They cry and shriek some more. _It__'__s wonderful_. In seconds I'm swamped and am covered by a mess of shrieking crying girls. I laugh and hug each one, kissing their faces and tugging their curls.

I'm surprised by a great many of them. Young girls I knew looking so innocent, cowering in class, are now beautiful young women with energetic personalities. The older ones I've come to know and love are the same, if not better than I remember them. I look at each face and compliment each girl. I take note of the missing faces, those dearly missed, those playing house to a husband and mess of children. _Oh girls, I miss you and hope you are well_. I look from face to face and laugh, quite in my element to be the centre of attention when one voice cuts through the chatter like a knife.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't our little wandering rogue."

A hush instantly falls over the gaggle of girls and I turn and look through the crowd to the perfect Miss Clarissa Worthington Howe. As much as I am delighted to see the girls again I feel a small twinge of anxiety to see Clarissa again. I never thought I would to be honest. For a moment I feel like I'm back in school and Clarissa, _Queen Bee_, and I are about to have another one of our bitter catfights. I take a breath as she starts towards me, floating across the floor like an angel. _A deadly angel._

"Why Miss Howe. You are not at home for the holiday?" I inquire sweetly. _Keep the peace Jacky... no need to ruffle any feathers. _

"I returned only an hour ago." She says, her beautiful sharp eyes snapping like Spanish castanets. "And, I must say I am heartily glad I did not miss _this_."

I swallow, the Look on my face once again and wait but I do not wait long. Slowly Clarissa's face changes, the Look on her face dissolves and she smiles. _Honestly, she smiles like a normal girl, flashing her perfect pearly teeth like a normal human girl, not some animal she__'__s been in the past_. I'm surprised but that isn't all, for a second later she throws her arms around me. A gasp echoes through the room and I stand shocked, now, for a long second or two before I remember the _Bloodhound _and all we went through, then all she did for me after when the _HMS Juno _took me. Hissing and biting like a wild cat she fought to help me free. Unable to deny this, all she's done for me, I wrap my arms around Clarissa as well and give her a tight squeeze.

In seconds we, Clarissa and I, once enemies, are enveloped by the pack of school girls. Within moments we're slumped over the beds, chatting away like mad. My dear sweet little Rebecca, who's become quite the handsome young woman, spies my ring and gasps. The other girls crowd around and beg for the tale of my ring. Even Clarissa is impressed. I blush and tell it again._ I don__'__t mind praising my handsome husband. Not at all. _I spend a good few hours with the girls until I realize the hour and suggest I take the girls out to dinner, being as it is Sunday. The girls are giddy and quickly fuss about what to wear and how to do their hair.

I smile and duck out of the room to go ask Mistress Primm for permission to take the girls out when I feel a presence behind me. I turn and Clarissa comes up along side me. We share a smile.

"I thought I might come and help petition our evening." She says.

I smile and nod. "I'd appreciate the help, thank you."

We go, and actually surprise Mistress Primm with our apparent reconciliation. We play it up so much that Mistress Primm is forced to allow us the evening. I thank her most kindly and promise her I will not expose the girls to any unworthy influence. _I swear Mistress Primm_. I smile inwardly._ It__'__s Sunday!_

:

In short duration I have my troupe of girls chattering down main street and towards the docks. We've picked up a few along the way as well and by the time we reach the _Lorelei Lee _I have an entire party surrounding me. Jared leans on the rail as we approach, grinning down at me _Mother Hen, leading her chicks. _I smile up at him and feel my heart soar. I am so happy. Behind me I hear the girls. _Look at that one... Have you ever seen anyone so handsome? ... I hope all the others are like that... I__'__ll bet he__'__s Jacky__'__s first mate or... Coo, she always was the lucky one... It__'__s not fair!_ I smile and quickly dart up the gang plank, my girls hot on my heels, then with a daring smirk I dive into Jared's arms.

"Don't let me down now." I whisper in his ear. "This will make us both, you and I, _legends_."

Jared grins, pulls back slightly and bends me backwards, planting an _oh so sweet _and _simply amazing _openmouthed kiss on my waiting lips. It's hard to stop but we must and when we do, and I look to my girls they hang onto each other, peering weakly at Jared and I. I smile, pleased we have done well, and take his arm.

"Ladies. My I present my husband, _Captain _Joseph Jared of the _Lorelei Lee_."

Jared, always ready to impress, gives the crowd a gentlemanly bow and brings his fingers to his brow in a very relaxed salute. _My darling girls_, a few return that salute and it makes him smile all the brighter.

"I welcome you all, ladies, to the _Lorelei Lee_." He says gallantly and a few girls sigh. I want to growl but I can't.

I smile up at Jared then to my girls. _I am so very happy_.

"So I understand there is a feast to be had?" He says, turning to me. "You've brought enough for a party."

I shrug and smile. "Couldn't help it."

"Well, start it up Puss. Higgins is cooking up a storm and the men have cleared one of the decks below. You best keep these girls occupied and start the music." He gives me a kiss on my ear and grins again.

The girls sigh once more and I toss them a look. They snicker and mill about themselves, already eyeing the sailors hanging about, as I confer with Jared quietly.

"How did you know about all this?" I ask

"Higgins had a feeling." he tells me. "But I'll say this, when you disobey a ship's order you really carry it far don't you?"

I open my mouth to object to such an accusation when Jared grins at me.

"No women on board?" he smirks. "Even pirates have such a law."

"Yes well..." I shrug. "Just this once. The Pig was already full."

"Yes, well." Jared nods, as if he completely understands but then rolls in eyes at me. I return his look then cautiously eye my girls again, still eyeing my sailors hungrily.

"Don't worry." Jared says, blowing in my ear. "I've already spoken to the crew. Anyone so much as makes any advances are looking at the end of the cat-o-nine."

"Jared." I hiss. "You wouldn't, besides… we don't have one."

"We don't?" Jared frowns then shrugs with a daring smirk. "Well we should get one. Just for intimidation. It could be very useful."

I smile and shake my head. "You are-"

"Fantastic? Wonderful? Charming? Devilishly handsome?" he smirks

"Well... yes.. but..." I laugh and shake my head.

Jared gives me another kiss then turns me to my girls. "Go on."

I smile at my girls and shrug. In moments we are below, with instruments in the hands of some of my men and they quickly strike up a tune. We all dance, song after song, me my girls, my crew, and my friends from all over Boston. We have a rip roaring time and only break long enough to eat then we're back at it. The _Lorelei Lee _resounds with the sound of poundin' feet and the sound of our voices rise even to the sails above.

Pretty soon we collect a few unfamiliar faces, and although there are eyes always watching our friends we enjoy ourselves and let them come. Then, fearing the displeasure of Mistress Primm, I collect my pleasure seeking girls and march them off the ship. Jared accompanies us with John Leroy and Higgins for protection, and we all walk back up the hill to the school and send our ladies to bed.

It's a wonderful day. A wonderful day.

:

After our first _official day _in Boston, the whole town knowing of us now, we make ready to travel to Dovecote. I long to see Amy again and gush over her engagement. I haven't seen her since before it happened, I had to read about it in a letter from Ezra, then later from Amy, so I am dying to see her. I am also excited to see the other moody Treveleyn. Annie told me during our visit that Randall is getting married in a few days, and me being always ready for a party, would like to be there for that. Ezra is already at Dovecote, she also told me, doting on his fiancé so all the more reason to hurry there.

I've asked Higgins to join us as well but he politely refuses. He claims he has things to care for here but I expect he will show up at the school for tea and heated discussions with its teachers, no matter, he enjoys it. I get the feeling that Higgins is trying to slowly dissolve my need of him and it saddens me a little but it makes me feel very independent. I love Higgins, I always will, but he deserves to have a life of his own too.

So, alone, Jared and I collect some things, fill a trunk with some fine clothes and some of our regular finery and we get ready. I am excited for Jared to meet Amy and all that comes with her, family and fiancé. I am eager to see also how she reacts to Jared, who is clearly not whom she would have chosen for me. _Whatever you think, my puritan friend. I am the one living with this man, not you._

I smile at Jared as we ride the coach out of Boston and into the surrounding countryside, thinkin' of my wide arrange of friends from my home here in Boston. Then, looking out over the countryside I think of the friends I've made all through the world, many of which I've never seen again. I think of Benjy, of Padraic, dear Katie, Lord Richard Allen, all the girls in the dancing troupe and Jean-Paul, my colourful friends from Havana and all the crews I served with, of Cheng Shih and all those wonderful pickpockets and... _well _harlots I've come to know. It saddens me to think I might never see many of them again but I am actually grateful Amy has preserved their memories in print. ..._well a little bit grateful but not much_.

We enjoy the trip across the countryside, dusted with snow. We chat about the ship and crew, about our friends and our plans for the foreseeable future. We nap and just watch everythin' pass us by until we pull into the lane of Dovecote. I can see already that the preparations for the wedding have begun and I grow more excited with each pound of the horses hooves. We've paid for the coach for our sole use for the weekend, so there is no problem for the driver to pull the horses right up the lane and right to the house, no doubt surprising a servant or two. I share a smile with Jared and pin my veil up onto the edge of my hat, leaving only my eyes exposed. _Another game for Jacky_.

I take a moment and look at Jared, perfectly at ease with my love of surprises and these small flashes of my fun loving character. I am blessed to have him. _But enough__'__s enough_. Jared climbs down out of the carriage, looking dashing in his black uniform and heavy coat. He slips his crisp black bicorn onto his head and offers his hand, helping me out as well. I step down and adjust my skirt and pull my fur trimmed wrap closer around me. Satisfied we look the part I take Jared's arm and we pass by the servants, dropping to a bow or curtsey, and go to the front door. I hear the whispers,_ such fine clothes. Must be wealthy friends of the Colonel and the Mistress. Distant family_ _here for the wedding maybe_? I smile under my veil and I am satisfied.

The same old butler opens the door and welcomes us. _Guests for the wedding_, I'm thinking they regard us as, like the servants did. Jared removes his hat as we enter and I stay quiet, not wanting to give myself away but as I catch sight of Ezra sitting in the parlour off the entrance hall, smiling at someone out of view, I feel tears prick my eyes. _Dear Ezra, I remember the first time I saw you..._

The butler inquires as to our names so we can be announced and Jared regards him with kindness. _He is so old. _

"Captain Joseph Jared and Captain Jacky Faber Jared of the _Lorelei Lee_." he says, his head held high.

I turn and smile behind my veil. I feel my chest swell with pride. _Yes. Captains__'__ Jared_. I exult to myself. I take this moment, again and marvel at how good a year it has been. We had some rocky bits here and there but it has been one of the best. I do not have long to think on this, because we are instantly swarmed by the entire house of Trevelyn and their prospective mates, but I savour the moment.

All said and done I am glad to be back, and if this week means there will be another novel on the shelves by Christmas next year I do not care. I'm ready for whatever Miss Amy can dish out... I've already been through my share of adventures.


	23. Epilogue

_**Epilogue::**_

It isn't long after, a couple years at least, happily living on the _Lorelei Lee_ with my husband and children that I catch sight of the book I swore I wouldn't mind seeing in a bookstore's front window in Ireland. I feel my skin prickle as I see it laying there, actually having dismissed the thought of Amy writing another book, but there it is.

As I did with the first book, I actually go into the store and lay my coins on the counter, pointing to the book, with my baby on my hip. The shop keeper, knowing me from my friendship with the Delaney's and many other Irish families in this area smiles and pushes my coins back.

"For ye lassie, free." he tells me.

I smile and hoist my babe on my hip a little higher as I stuff the book into my bag. "My thanks to you Mr. McGuffy."

Mr. McGuffy smiles and nods, heading off to help the next costumer as I slid out the front door, kissing my little Joseph's head as I do. He and I stroll through Wicklow together, wave at Moria in the front garden of her home and down the street towards the wharf. We pop into Liam's work and say hello to him and the boys, each doting on Joseph, my darling six month old. Then, my errands done, I head back to the ship.

:

Jared is waiting for us when we return, the ship being quite quiet with the men on shore leave and Amelia, our eldest, out for the afternoon with Grace Delaney. Jared greets me with a kiss and takes little Joseph from my arms, giving him a kiss as well. I follow him into our cabin and empty my bag of everything I've bought, when that book stumbles out and lands face up on the table. Jared picks it up and turns it over in his hands then grins, looking over at me.

"What's this?"

I sigh and smile. "Our first year of marriage." I tell him quite simply. "She did it. She wrote about it."

Jared chuckles then looks down at Joseph. "You want to hear about your old man, and how he got your mum?"

"Jared." I caution. "We might want to read it first _before _we read it to the children. Amy is a puritan sure but still..."

Jared smirks and leans in, giving me a kiss. "Sure, Puss, we'll read it first but I am sure we've nothing to worry about."

I shake my head and Jared takes Joseph to his crib, lays him down in it and rocks him to sleep. I stand there, at our table and watch him. Amy's book makes me think of Jared when we first met up again, how young and sharp he was back then, so quick to action and always eager to steal a kiss. He is still the same, five years later, but I can't help but see him in a different light. The same as I am a wife and mother now, Jared is a husband and father. He is wonderful at it, finding the perfect balance between work and family. I envy him, being such a natural, but as I watch him he turns to me and flashes that same old familiar grin. He stands and tiptoes over to me, looming over me as his smile tugs at his lips. I turn my face up to him and just drink up the attention he gives me as he reaches up and twirls a lock of my hair around his finger.

"Well he's asleep... what should we do now?"

I smile and lift my face up to him, tucked right in close to his strong frame. _If anyone had hold me things would end up like this for me, I would have never believed them. That, the man I met up in the rigging, standing watch for a sick friend, was now the father of my children and love of my life. _I kiss Jared's lips and smile as he wraps his arms around me. _I__'__m glad you haven__'__t changed since that night I met you, Jared, so terribly glad_. We're just two souls after all who happen to have a lot in common. _If it works, why change it?_


End file.
